


One For Me

by gemshining



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - College/University, Cuddling & Snuggling, First Love, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, Light Angst, M/M, Making Out, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slow Burn, Underage Drinking, just tiny of it, nomin are my babies, so pls have some mercy on me :(, this whole new things are new for me, why is 2jae an underrated pair :(
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-17
Updated: 2019-06-09
Packaged: 2019-07-13 12:58:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 57,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16018400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gemshining/pseuds/gemshining
Summary: Jeno is slowly developing a special feeling for his first ever friend, Jaemin, who lived next to his house.But what happens in the future, will never really hit our expectation, right?And Jeno just need to learn to let go of his long-term crush on Jaemin,Because Jaemin has found his 'true love' on another boy.





	1. Chapter 1

2007

 

The 7 years old Jaemin and Jeno lived next to each other, but they never really knew each other. They were different from the other kids at their age, because they tended to stay inside their house, too busy with their own world until they've forgotten that there were a lot of things that they could do outside their house, just like kids of their age normally do. No, Jaemin actually has tried it before—playing outside the house with friends, but it didn't end well for him. That's why, he chose to stayed at home, all day.

But everything changed after Jaemin heard someone’s cries from the balcony across to his, and it actually waking up his curiosity. Who is that? Why is he crying so loudly like that? All those thoughts were running through his mind. He walked towards the edge of his balcony and trying to climb it up, but he ended up only stepping onto the small space on the lower part of his balcony, so that he hugged the upper part of it, looking at the balcony across him, looking for some particular figure.

“H-hey!” the young Jaemin shouted with a shaky voice despite the fear of height that started to swallow him up. But there’s still no response from the latter, so that he tried to shout at him again, and finally the top of the latter’s head came up to the surface and not too long after that, his face was clear to Jaemin’s vision.

Jaemin blinks his eyes for a second before he finally had the courage to open up his mouth again, “Why are you crying?” Jaemin asked with concern was drawn so well on his face, a small pout was formed on his lips. The boy was about to answer Jaemin’s question but he started to cry again and Jaemin started to panicking, “Oh my God! No, don’t cry! I’m sorry!” Jaemin begged as he leaned closer to his balcony, but soon he moved away from the balcony and starts running out from his bedroom.

He ran through the hallway of his house, hoped down on each stairs, and immediately stopping when his mother was looking at him with her hands on her waist, looking at him as she raised her brows, “What do I told to you for not running on the stairs, Na Jaemin?” she said as she approached the little boy, caressing his hair dearly, “You could fell, you know that, right?” she reminded him about it. “Mommy, I wanted to go to the house next door! Can I?” the little boy said as he intertwined his hands together in front of his chest, hoping that his mother will fall for his cuteness, and she did.

Well, she was actually being surprised by the fact that her son is finally willing to go play outside the house, “Really? What made you changed your mind about playing outside with friends?” she smiled so widely that it gives chill to Jaemin’s back, “I’m about to make a new friend now, Mommy…” the young Jaemin told his mother.

With a warm smile, his mother is now kneeling in front of him so that she can looking at her son closely, “Well, okay, my love. Just make sure that you’re not making any problems for the Lee, okay? You know that Mommy and Mrs. Lee are close friends, right, Nana?” she smiled as she pecked both of Jaemin’s cheeks when her son nodding his head in a cute way, “Off you go!” she chuckled as she watch her son running out from the house with a light blush on his cheeks. For the first time after that day he came home crying and dirt all over his clothes, he's finally showing his light again.

 

*****

 

Jaemin is now standing right in front of the Lee’s front gate, and he pressed the bell without any hesitate. And after waiting for a couple minutes, someone finally opened the gate—a middle-aged lady who seems like his mother’s friend, Jaemin smiled so widely to show her his politeness (because that what his mother always taught him, _smile to older people, Jaemin!_ ), “Good afternoon, ma’am! I’m Na Jaemin from next door! I-I was wondering if I can come in to play with your son, Ma’am?” Jaemin asked as politely as he could, and the elder just couldn’t help but showing the little boy her beautiful eye-smile, “Oh my God, my friend raised her son really well!” she giggled, “Of course you can, baby! Come on in! But Jeno is still in his room right now, he’s still feeling so upset about his dad going work overseas,” she said as she led the little boy to come inside the house.

Once Jaemin was already at the front of Jeno’s bedroom, the elder woman opened the door slowly, peeking her head in just too see if her son is really in his bedroom or not, “Jeno, sweetheart, Jaeminnie is here to play with you,” Mrs. Lee said as Jaemin was waiting right behind her. Mrs. Lee turned to Jaemin again, still with her warm smile, “He’s still at the balcony, Jaeminnie. You can talk to him if you still want to play with him,” the pretty Mrs. Lee said and Jaemin just nodded his head understandingly, “Thank you, Ma’am,” he bowed to her and she caressed his head before taking her leave from the scene.

Jaemin was looking at the slightly opened door and taking a deep breath before finally walking into the latter’s bedroom with an unusual feelings. He felt excited because he thought that he can finally get a new friend that he had always dreamt about, but he’s also afraid that if the latter will just bullying him again and pushing him away just like the other kids at his kindergarten did to him before.

As he keeps on walking into the room, his eyes were wandering around the room, judging on the decoration of the room which was having the same style as his, and when he finally gets to the balcony, he saw Jeno was still sitting down with his back on the wall of the balcony and hugging his knees tight, the crying show was still on. Jaemin approached him slowly, taking a step that as lightly as he could, “Hi!,” he greeted the latter with an awkward grin though he knows that Jeno didn’t even looking at him, yet.

Another seconds pass, Jeno finally lifting up his face after releasing another hiccup, showing his damp cheeks and the snort that can be seen on his nostrils, “H-how did you get in here?” he asked with a shaky voice, finally realizing that he’s really a crying mess right now so that he wiped the tears on his cute face with the back of his palm and his shirt’s sleeve.

Jaemin was standing right in front of Jeno when he heard the silly question (that’s how he called it) came out from Jeno’s mouth, “Well, I have healthy legs, so, I walked from my house to get here. Easy, right?” he said, rolling his eyes on the latter, and Jeno didn’t seem to welcoming the rude answer from Jaemin so that he frowned at him, “If you coming here just to make fun of me, you better go now, or I’ll tell my mom about it!” he snapped at the younger boy and running towards his bed, decided to hide from the younger boy inside his undone blanket.

Jaemin snapped his head, following the direction to where the older boy go just now, “I’m not! I-I just—I wanted to make friends—I want to be friend with you, okay? I want to be your friend, that’s all!” Jaemin started blubbering when he heard Jeno’s accusation on him and running towards the bed too. Making the older boy to be more upset then he already is, it’s not his intention at all—never.

He sat on the bed slowly as it made a squeak sound that shocked him a little, and then looking at the line of the older boy that was formed on the blanket, “So… I’ve heard about your dad, from your mom. Are you really that upset, Jeno?” the younger starts asking when he finally seated on the bed comfortably. But Jeno was still keeping his mouth shuts, and it stressed the hell out of Jaemin.

Being the patient he is, he tried to make another conversation again with Jeno, “I was just like you too at first, you know. When my dad left to London for his work, I’m so angry at him. I feel like I was being thrown away—I know its exaggerating, but still, I’m just so upset at that time.” Jaemin said as he took a glance at the hiding boy, who’s now starting to move inside the blanket, “But now, that I get used to it, I’m just fine with it. I was more like, I feel so grateful when he finally came home safely. You can miss him more than you did now, you know,” he smiled to himself when he remembered about his dad.

After listening Jaemin’s story, Jeno finally decided to speak up, “So…” he cleared his not-so-dry-throat, “You think that I can be like you too?” the older said as he coming out from his blanket, looking at Jaemin still with a frown and his pouty lips. Jaemin on the other hand couldn’t help but smiling so widely when he sees Jeno finally wanted to speak with him. “Of course you can, Jeno!” he giggled as he scooted closer to the older boy, which made the older flustered by Jaemin’s sudden move, but just smile at him after it.

“Oh, right! I never introduce myself properly to you, silly me! I’m Jaemin, by the way! But since you’re my first friend, I give you the privilege to call me Nana!” Jaemin said with the excitement that was so clear on his eyes, offering his hand to the older boy. Jeno was looking at his eyes at first, then down to his hand, “And you already know my name, right?” he laughed as he welcomed the younger’s hand in his.

“Yes!” Jaemin lets out his giggle, which Jeno found really cute and somehow, he wanted to hear it for a long time in his life. He believed that if his laughter was a song, then it's going to be his favorite song for his whole life time.

 

“ _Let’s be friend!_ ”

 

*****

 

2021

 

A new fresh semester as a university student has begun. Jaemin and Jeno, along with their other best friends that they’ve known since the first semester in their middle school—Mark, Donghyuck and Hina, are now sitting inside the class waiting for their Professor to finally  starting their class.

Jaemin, just like usual, sits next to Jeno in every classes, while Mark and Donghyuck is just another pair that are so inseparable, since both of them is a couple since their high school time. Little story, eventhough Mark is older by a year from them, but he entered the university at the same time as them since he goes back to his hometown in Canada for his family matters, and he also needs some me-time after the broke up with Donghyuck after his graduation ceremony—that’s a long story, really. But now that they’re together again, they become so inseparable just like the old times.

The boys are on their second period right now and their Professor, Mrs. Jung, was seems like she was in her bad mood right now since she kept on sending her dead glare to every student that made a single noise, just a little single noise, and you’ll get kicked out from her class.

Jaemin is trying to keep his focus to the front of the class, but the sleeping Jeno really distracting him, so that he took a quick glance at him, “Jeno, can you please to not sleeping in the class again? I don’t want to get into the same trouble like the other kid,” the younger boy yell-whispered at him as he keeps on kicking the leg that belongs to the sleeping boy next to him while his eyes were fixed on their Professor.

But Jeno seems like he doesn’t want to be awaken yet so that he turned his face to the other side, not wanting for Jaemin to looking at him sleeping. Closing his eyes in frustration, Jaemin took a deep breath, “Jeno, if you’re not waking up now, I swear Mrs. Jung will come to our seat!” he yell-whispered to the older boy again.

“Jaemin, shut up. I couldn’t get any nice sleep last night, okay? You’re moving like everywhere last night. Your stinky foot even landed on my beautiful face,” Jeno said as keep his eyes closed, snuggling his cheek to his desk, while he didn’t realized that his words made him gained the unwanted attention from the class, including their Professor.

Jaemin snapped and ignoring the fact that they got the unwanted attention, “It’s not stinky!” Jaemin unconsciously saying it a little bit louder than he should. With a loud sound, Mrs. Jung throws the book on her hand to her desk, “Mr. Na, Mr. Lee, get out from my class!” she said it firmly and it sent heat all over Jaemin’s body because of the embarrassment he felt right now, so that he got up from his seat almost immediately as he pulled Jeno with him to get up from their seat, “W-we’re sorry, Mrs. Jung,” Jaemin bowed to her, while the sleepy Jeno was just standing there next to him with eyes still closed, before finally walking out from the class with a quick move.

It’s been like 30 minutes after their embarrassing incident recently in the class, and now they‘re sitting on the stairs that wasn’t too far from their class as Jaemin was still regretting his stupid behavior before, but he also couldn’t help to not to be upset with Jeno and blamed it on him. “This is all your fault, Lee Jeno!” the younger said as he landed a punch on the left arm of the sleeping Jeno beside him.

Feeling the pain slowly came to the spot where Jaemin hits him earlier, Jeno groaned at the younger boy, “How could it be my fault, Nana? All I did was just sleeping until now, okay?” he said when his eyes were finally fully opened and stood up from where he were sitting just now, stretching up his back and turned to face Jaemin again, still with his knitted brows, “Let’s just get some food from the canteen, okay? I’m hungry, Nana,” he said as he offered his hand to Jaemin, but the latter just turned his face away from him, “I don’t need it,” he said, still feeling upset with the older boy.

Seeing Jaemin being sulky like this is just really cute for Jeno, so that he decides to tease him a bit by moving his face closer to younger boy, “So, what do you need now? A kiss?” he said jokingly and it succeed on making the latter’s cheeks turned into the same color as a fresh tomato. “It’s not like that, you idiot!” Jaemin shoved him away a little bit harsher than he should and getting up from the stairs.

They keep bickering with each other that they didn’t realize that someone was standing right behind them. That person cleared his throat to get the boys attention which actually worked, “Well, well, who is this?” he said from their back. Jaemin immediately turned his body and the moment he locked his eyes with that person, he smiled widely at him, “Jaehyun hyung!” Jaemin greeted him, and his smile getting even wider when the Jaehyun boy starts ruffling his hair, “What are you doing here? Aren’t you two supposed to be in class right now?” he asked as he took a step closer to both Jaemin and Jeno.

Jaemin’s expression then suddenly changed and looking at Jeno with a frown, “Well, because of this idiot right here, Mrs. Jung got really mad at us and throwing us out from the class, hyung,” Jaemin said with his pout. “Oh my God, Nana!” the older laughed, “You better apologize to her after the class!” Jaehyun said as he gave the younger boy a pat on his shoulder, “Oh, by the way, I gotta go now, okay? Johnny is waiting for me already! Talk to you later, I guess?” Jaehyun said with his sweet smile as always and Jaemin nodded in excitement. Jaehyun was smiling at the sleepy Jeno too, “Hang in there, bro,” he chuckled before finally walking away from both the younger boy.

“Isn’t he the sweetest, Jeno?”

“Aren’t you the craziest about your crush on him, Nana?” Jeno snorted at him.

“It can’t be helped, okay? He’s always being so sweet and kind to me. How can I’m not falling for him?”

Jeno shrugged his shoulder at Jaemin, “You’re just stupid, Na Jaemin. Let’s go now, I’m hungry.”

 

*****

 

They were all now gathering at Mark and Donghyuck’s apartment, just like how they always do since their high school time. They were cooking (mostly were done by Jaemin, Donghyuck and Hina), watching some movies for 4-5 hours straight until they got tired or got bored with the movies. And finally, they ended up having a sleepover there.

Just like today, they’re having another countless sleepovers. While Hina was sleeping in the guest room, the boys were sleeping at the living room, or just everywhere where their bodies finally giving up and lying down just anywhere they like. Mark and Donghyuck were already sleeping on the couch with Donghyuck in Mark’s embrace, while Jaemin and Jeno were still playing some game on their phone on the couch across the occupied one, with legs were tangled with each other, Jaemin’s back were flat to Jeno’s chest.

The room is now filled only with the sound of their games and the only light that illuminate the room is coming from their phones. “So, Jeno, about the party that Hina told us about before, will you come?” Jaemin finally breaking the silence between the two of them with eyes were still fixed on his game. Jeno shrugged his shoulder, “Well, I don’t know, Nana. I don’t feel like partying lately—no, I’ve never really liked a party, okay? Why did you ask by the way?” Jeno asked as he finally closed his game and put his phone back to the small table next to their couch, moving his gaze to the younger boy.

Jeno swears himself that though the room is dark right now, but he can see Jaemin is blushing thanks to his phone screen's light, he wasn’t so sure what the reason is, but he just smiled looking at the younger’s cute face, “You were also not a party person, Nana. Did you decide to like party now?” Jeno said as he caressed Jaemin’s sideburn as his other free hand were placed on top of Jaemin’s chest, slightly could feel Jaemin’s heartbeat under his touch.

Jaemin adjusted his position so that now his chest were flat with Jeno’s, “U-uhm, promise me that you won’t laugh at me if I told you my reason, okay?” Jaemin said with his sheepish smile, looking at the older boy still with his not-so-visible- blushing cheeks. Jeno just nodded, understanding the latter’s request, “You can tell me about it, Nana,” he smiled, running his fingers through Jaemin soft locks.

Jaemin bits his lower lips for a millisecond and damn that was cute, before finally giving Jeno his sheepish smile again,

 

“ _He’s gonna be there too, Jeno_.” He said.

 

Oh shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, guys, babies, pls let me know about your thoughts on this one, so that i could improve and be better next time! :)  
> oh, and, this is my first time to post my story here in ao3! ^.^  
> also! since english is not my first language, so pls forgive my messy words :(


	2. Chapter 2

It’s Saturday, 10.35 PM.

 

“So, why are you here again, Jeno?” Donghyuck asked as he took a sip of his alcohol, his left arm were circling onto his boyfriend’s waist. But Jeno was too busy with his own mind at that time, and besides, the music is just too loud for him to actually caught of whatever Donghyuck asked him.

His eyes keep wandering around the place, the decoration really amazed him, actually. Everything makes it looked so different from what he has remembered about Hina’s large-classical style house.

The dimmed blue and pink light were lighting the room so beautifully that night, and there were also bubbles flying around the place, and those sculptures that belongs to her father are now being replaced with some of those aesthetic plants that you always found on someone’s feeds on Instagram in every corner of the place. It looks fancy—not like the old house from 19 century anymore to Jeno.

“Lee Jeno? Hello? The world to Mr. Lee Jeno!” Mark shouts right into Jeno’s ear, and it really gives Mark the attention he’d been asked for, “What is it?!” Jeno shouts back and Mark was laughing at him as he pinched his cheeks so hard that it could leave some bruises there.

Jeno quickly shoved the older’s hands from his cheeks, “Stop being so stupid, Mark!” Jeno said under his breath as he keeps on rubbing his reddened cheeks.

Mark was only giving him his big grins, “Why are you daydreaming like that?” he asked, placing his arm on Jeno’s shoulder but Jeno choose to ignore him by looking to another direction, “It’s night, Mark. So you should say it as night dreaming!” his drunken boyfriend starts blabbering. Mark was mouthing an “Oh,” before finally snuggling his face onto Jeno’s neck as he keeps on saying he loves watermelon so much and Jeno just rolling his eyes on the older boy as he tried to pulled away from Mark’s hug, “Hyuck, please take your stupid boyfriend away from me,” he reached out his hand to Donghyuck, asking for a help.

But guess what?

Donghyuck was also doing the same thing as Mark now, literally wrapping his leg on Jeno’s. “Fuck it both of you, you drunken heads,” Jeno said before finally pushing the two of them harder—not hard enough to make them fall to the ground, though. After he can release himself from MarkHyuck’s hugs, Jeno decided to take a walk around the place, maybe looking for some new friends that are not as crazy as Mark and Donghyuck.

He was about to take a drink on the corner of the room when he heard someone was calling for him. And when he turned around, he saw Hina was there standing right behind him with another girl, which was Koeun, Hina’s crush. “Well, hello, princesses,” Jeno smiles at both of them as he gladly taking a bottle of beer that Hina offered to him, but then he suddenly remembered about that one story his older cousin, Doyoung, told him about—the poisoned drinks in a party, he squinted his eyes at Hina, “You’re not poisoning me, right?” he asked, half–jokingly to her and she just give him her unamused look as her response, so that Jeno is sure that the drink is safe for him to drink.

As he took a gulp of his drink, he realized that there’s this glowing paints on Hina’s face, which made her looking like having a cat’s whisker, while Koeun was having this kind of little dots on her face with so many different glowing colors on her face. Hina, who caught Jeno’s curious looks, was immediately smiling so widely at him, “Well, Jeno,” she said as she took a quick glance at the girl beside her and they started to giggles cutely, “Thanks to Koeun that I looked awesome tonight!” she said, “And should we draw something on your face too, Jeno? You know, it’s really rare of you to finally willing to come to party like this, right? You should try this!” Koeun said in excitement as she take out this little bottles of glowing paints from her small sling bag, showing it right to Jeno’s face, “Choose your colors!” she grins.

Jeno raised both of his brows as he keep looking at the little bottles, actually feeling a little excited to get his face painted with these glowing thing, so that he moved his index fingers to a particular color, “I’ll choose this one,” Jeno said as he take the little bottle from Koeun’s hand. “Pink! That’s a good choice! Here, let me help you with that!” Hina said as she tried to take the little bottle from Koeun’s hand but stopped when a hand was placed on her shoulder.

She turned around and it was her older brother, Johnny, standing there with some of his friends—Ten, Kun, Winwin, and to Jeno’s expectation, Jaehyun was there too. Jeno’s smile was slowly fading away when he finally locked his eyes with Jaehyun. He still can’t believe that the older boy was really come to the party, although he has been expecting it already. Or maybe, _he was actually hoping that Jaehyun wouldn’t come to the party at all._

“My friends are here, so I’m going to use the pool area, okay?” Johnny said to his little sister as he moved his eyes to Jeno and giving him his friendly smile, “Wow, I’m surprised you finally decided to come to our party, Jeno! Finally, you’re not turning down my invitation now, huh? Enjoy, okay?” he said as he gave the younger boy a pat on his shoulder, “Well, it’s a great party, hyung. I really enjoyed it, thanks to your sister who insisted me to come,” he replied to Johnny and gets a tight hug as the “you’re welcome” from Hina. He was smiling sincerely to Johnny’s other friends when they’re taking their leave to the pool area, but not when Jaehyun was walking right in front of him and smiling at him. It was more like, an awkward grin that Jeno gave as return.

 

*****

 

Now that Jeno finally get his cheeks and forehead painted with the glowing paint, he starts walking around the room again, walking through this human ocean, and stopping until he finally found one empty spot for him on the couch near the door to the pool area. There, he found his high school mate that him and his group also pretty close to, Huang Renjun, who is now, kinda taking a ‘nap’ by himself while the other people around him were too busy with their talks and laughing their asses off.

Jeno’s mischievous side is suddenly awaken and so he decides to waking up the small Renjun with unusual way by throwing his body on the couch, which his upper body was landed on Renjun’s lap. “What the fuck you—Jeno!” the smaller boy shouts at him and almost throwing him away from the couch, but Jeno being the smart boy he is, quickly wrapping his arms around the smaller’s waist tightly, “I’m so bored right now!” Jeno said onto Renjun’s stomach.

Renjun sighed, still trying to collect his soul that jumped out when he got shocked from Jeno’s attack, “Well, where’s Jaemin? You two are usually inseparable, you know,” the smaller asked as he started to patting Jeno’s head until Jeno was slowly getting irritated from it and getting up from his lap. “Jaemin is probably busy now, with his Jaehyun,” the black haired boy said as he ran his slim fingers on his soft hair, unconsciously gripping too hard on it that he let out a gasp. He’s just too awkward even with himself.

Renjun laughed in amusement by seeing his friend misery, “Oh, Jeno… Don’t be so brokenhearted, okay? Just enjoy the party and let your best friend having his own time with his crush!” he grins, pulling the latter into a side hug. Jeno snorted at him, “Well, by taking a nap? Very funny, Injun.”

Hearing of what Jeno had said to him, Renjun shoving him away, again, “People have their own way of having fun, okay? Don’t judge me like that…” the smaller pouted at Jeno and crossing his arms in front of his chest and Jeno was just laughing at him, “If you’re thinking that it will works on me, believe me Injun, it’s not,” the taller boy said as he felt that his phone was vibrating inside his pocket and he immediately taking it out just to see his mother’s caller ID on the screen, “I gotta take this,” he said to Renjun and the latter just nodding at him.

Jeno was walking to the pool area since he knew that there’s only Johnny’s group who take the spot, and they were just like 5 of them, so it won’t be too noisy as the inside. He opened the door and the wind softly hitting his face that it’s somehow felt tickly, giving him the uninvited chill. as he stepped out to the pool area, he looked around and felt that someone is missing there, in Johnny’s circle of group. He looked around and he knew he was right. Someone is missing—Jaehyun is not there with his group. “ _He must be with Jaemin right now,_ ” Jeno thought as he was about to looking at his phone back when his eyes meeting Johnny’s and both of them exchanged smiles casually, before finally picking up his mother’s call, “Hello, Mom?” he smiled.

There’s this busy crowds sound behind his mother before she finally talking to him, “ _Baby, I’m sorry, I accidentally take the keys with me. I’m already at the airport right now. So, maybe you should find a place to sleep over tonight, okay? Maybe at Jaeminnie’s just like the usual?_ ” his mother said with her concerned tone, and Jeno just let out a sigh at her forgetful act, started to massaging his temple with his fingers pad, “Okay, I’ll find a place, and yes maybe it will be Jaemin’s place again, just like usual. Thank you for letting me know, by the way. Take care of yourself! I love you, Mom, and send my love for Dad too!” he said before finally hanging up when his mother has replied to his I love you.

“I gotta find Jaemin, now,” he murmured to himself, heading back into the house as his eyes were fixed on his phone’s screen, texting the said guy even though he knew it will be useless, since Jaemin himself was too busy right now to even checking up on his phone.

 

**Jeno**

where are you? [12.34 AM]

[ _Sent_ ]

 

When Jeno entered the house again, it surprised him that the music is getting louder than the previous—it’s really loud that he could actually felt it right inside his chest so that he tried to muffle the noise by pressing his palms to his ears as he walked in. As he keep on walking—stumbling among the crowds, he could see that Donghyuck were sitting on Mark’s lap on that armchair near that aesthetic plant right in the corner of the room—literally having their making out session and didn’t give a fuck about a bunch of girls who started to recording them, and Renjun is having a talk with this really tall guy which Jeno remembered as Yukhei, Hina and Koeun was still being flirty with each other. But Jaemin is nowhere to be seen.

Jeno started to wander around the place—again, and when he arrived at where he was sitting with Renjun before, he saw Jaemin there. But Jaemin wasn’t alone—he’s with his so favorite hyung—his crush, the Jung Jaehyun. Oh, so he was right about Jaehyun was here all the time with his Nana. And by seeing this view gives him a tiny clench on his chest.

It doesn’t hurt him, at first. But as the time goes by, the sight of Jaemin and Jaehyun sitting so close together, while Jaehyun smoothly sneaking his right arm around Jaemin’s waist and Jaemin scooted even closer to him—even leaning his head on the older’s chest—hugging him, it hurt Jeno’s feeling, again. He should’ve walked away while he can, but his body just won’t move. He didn’t know why, but his heart was keep telling him to stay while his brain was telling him to run away from that place and never looked back. He didn’t even realize that his knuckles were turning white from squeezing his fist too tightly.

Despite the loudness of the music inside the room, Jeno still can catch the vague voice calling out to his name several times and it keeps getting closer and clearer to him, “Jeno!” and now the voice was finally clear enough to waking him up from his trance. And that voice belongs to no other than Renjun, who are now standing not too far from him with his confused look. Jeno immediately fast-walking towards the smaller boy and pulled him into a tight hug, “Help me, Jun. I don’t think I could see him right now. Not even tomorrow or even the next day after it, not ever, please—”

Renjun pulled away from the hug and held Jeno on the shoulders, “Who, Jeno?”

“…Jaemin. Please, Jun. Let’s get out from this place. I don’t want to see him right now, I—“

Renjun placed his palm on Jeno’s cold cheek, “Jeno, calm down, alright? Come on now, I’ll take you to my place, come on,” he cuts him off before Jeno could start saying nonsense things. When Jeno is calm enough and answering him with a nod, Renjun immediately taking Jeno’s hand in his and walking out from that suffocating place together.

 

*****

 

There they’re now, lying on the same bed while eyes were fixed on the ceiling of Renjun’s bedroom, busying themselves with their own mind.

The room is filled with silence, but it’s a comforting one, since that was what they really need right now—what Jeno really need right now. “Are you feeling better now, Jen?” the smaller starts breaking out the silence inside the room, turning his head so that he could see Jeno’s face clearly, “What did you see at the party? You looked so...hurt.” he asked with a small pout showing his concern for his friend.

Jeno lets out a deep sigh, “I saw Jaemin, with Jaehyun on that couch,” he said with his cracked voice, and he bits on his lower lip trying to hold in the pain. Renjun was keep looking at Jeno but not forgetting to nods, signaling the latter that he’s listening to his story, “They were only talking to each other, you know—they’re looking so happy together that I’m getting so sick of it. This is not good, Injun. I feel so bad right now. I don’t want to have this kind of feelings… I should be happy for him, he’s my best friend—like a brother, even,” Jeno said with this hand gestures in the air, like he was so struggling on expresses his feeling out, but then he just dropped it back to his sides.

“You love him that much, didn’t you?” Renjun said, patting Jeno’s chest as he lets out a bitter laugh, looking at Renjun with his pained look, “I’m so in love with him, this whole time, since our high school time—I’ve been so so in love with Jaemin, Junnie,” he said as he ran his fingers through his hair in frustration.

“If it’s been a really long time, why don’t you just confess to him, Jeno?”

Imagining on what could’ve happened if he confessed to Jaemin just make him creating another bad-ending scenario inside his head, so that he shook his head to that, “No, just forget it. Jaemin will run away from me if he knows about my real feelings towards him, Injun. I don’t want to ruin our friendship with my stupid feelings.” he smiled bitterly on the thought Jaemin walking away from him. He really didn’t want that to be happened.

Renjun was about to say something when Jeno moved his eyes to the clock hanging on the wall across them, it’s 01.40 AM right now, and it feels like his eyes were becoming heavier than ever, and it just clicked, he starts yawning.

“Well, I guess that’s our duty call, eh?” the smaller boy said as he lazily walked out from the bed just to take his newly-fresh out from the laundry blanket oit from the cabinet near the bathroom door. “Hey, I only have one blanket, Jeno. So, we rather share it or you sleep with no blanket,” he said as he throws the blanket on Jeno’s face.

Jeno take the blanket away from his face, “Since you throw it into my face, you’re the one who will sleeping with no blanket, Jun,” he smirks as he starts spreading out the blanket over his body. And Renjun couldn’t let him win just like that, right? So, now they started to pull the blanket on each side and when Renjun finally wins the battle, he starts laughing really loud when he saw Jeno’s shocked face.

“Now you’re the one who’s going to sleep with no blanket, kid,” the smaller boy said as he finally lying down on his spot again, literally wrapping up his body with the blanket and facing the wall while his back was on Jeno, “Good night, Lee Jeno,” he said when he finally closing his eyes and ready to enters the dream land.

Not even a second he was getting into his sleep, Jeno interrupting him, “Jun,” he called him. “I need the blanket too,” he said with his pleading tone, “Pretty please?” And hearing Jeno pleading to him like that, he lets out a sigh and lazily spreading the blanket again, “Here,” he said as he take a look at Jeno with his sleepy eyes and Jeno gave him a big smile, scooted closer to Renjun so that he could fit in inside the blanket.

It’s the second time now that Renjun almost entering his dream land, but Jeno decided to interrupt him, again.

 

“Hey, Junnie,”

 

“What again now, Jeno?” he groans.

 

“Can I hug you while I’m asleep? We used to do it when we’re still a high schooler,”

 

“Yeah, but that’s when we—”

 

“I really need it right now, Junnie. I’m really sad and I need a hug, you know… Well, no homo feelings, though.” Jeno lets out a dry laugh on that ‘no homo feelings’.

 

Renjun was giving him his unamused look, “No homo feelings, but you yourself are gay, Jeno,”

 

“Junnie, please~~”

 

Renjun immediately turn his back again and facing Jeno with his knitted brows, but he didn’t say anything. He just silently slipping his left arm to Jeno’s waist and move closer to Jeno just like that, “Now sleep. I’m really tired right now, okay?” he said into the taller’s chest. He could hear that Jeno was giggling right now, but he just let it slide this time, he didn’t want to fight the latter right now.

 

“Good night, Injun,” Jeno smiled as he put his chin on top of the latter's head, hugging his head close to his chest.

 

“Good night, Jeno,” the sleepy Renjun said, before finally succeeding on entering his dream land this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wohoo~  
> i hope you guys liked this chapter though! <3  
> i'm trying hard on that party part kk~  
> and yes! i love my babies Hina and Koeun! >u<  
> i missed them so much :(
> 
> don't forget to drop some kudos, or even a comment!  
> it could be my motivation and improve my writing hehe :3
> 
> thank you babies <3


	3. Chapter 3

The next day after the party.

 

 **Hyuck  
** [11.09 AM] lee jeno, where the fuck are you?

 **Jeno  
** i’m at renjun’s. i’m staying over here until my mom’s back. [02.10 PM]

 **Hyuck  
** [02.11 PM] injunnie? what are you doing there?

 **Jeno**  
yes, your baby injun. [02.12 PM]  
my mom was having a work trip, and she kinda bring our home keys with her, so... [02.12 PM]

 **Hyuck  
** [02.13 PM] and why injun's? you used to stay over at jaemin’s, tho.

 **Jeno**  
he needs me to help him on his lit club, so, it’s a win-win for me and him. [02.13 PM]

 **Hyuck**  
[02.14 PM] have you talk with jaemin tho?  
[02.14 PM] he’s been so upset that you haven’t replied to any of his text, jeno :(

 **Jeno  
** hyuck, i gtg. ttyl. [02.17 PM]

 

*****

 

Monday is finally arrived in front of their face, and they got to start their daily activities again, for the whole weekdays. Jeno himself wasn’t so sure about showing up at campus that day, he’s still not ready to see Jaemin. Besides, the chances of him meeting Jaemin along with Jaehyun is like 99.9% happening and he’s definitely still not ready for another heart breaking event.

But here he is, walking to the campus with heavy steps—of course still with Renjun walking along by his side.

When they’re almost reaching their campus gate, Jeno stops walking and turned around as his eyes were meeting Renjun’s immediately, “Jun, I don’t think I’m ready to meet him, especially, not in campus. Believe me, Jaehyun is gonna be with him the whole day, you know.” He said as he let out a really deep sigh—still finding it hard to see the love birds sticking together for the whole day.

Renjun, being tired at how the Lee Jeno turning into a coward, giving him a hard slap at the back of his head, “Man up and face your problems, dumbass. Let’s go now, we’re gonna be late, Jeno.” Renjun said, still with his I’m-so-serious look on his face while dragging the taller boy with him. Well, it’s not like Jeno can say no to him either, right?

They can see Donghyuck and Jaemin were already waiting for them at Jeno’s seat, which is right in front of Donghyuck’s original spot on the 3rd row in the class near the window, when both Jeno and Renjun entered the class.

Donghyuck was the first one to acknowledging their presence, and when his eyes met Jeno’s, Donghyuck immediately patting Jaemin’s arm who sat across him, giving him the sign for Jeno’s arrival.

Jeno was about to turned around again when Renjun quickly dragging him to where the other two were sitting, “Let’s go now, big guy,” he said, the amusement can be heard in his tone and Jeno really wanted to beat him up for that, if only the smaller boy wasn’t so fierce and grumpy.

Jaemin is getting up from his seat almost immediately when he saw Jeno was walking towards their seat, “Jeno!” the brown-haired boy calling out to Jeno’s name and for Jeno himself, it’s hurt just to hear it. He keeps on thinking if Jaemin also calling Jaehyun’s name with his cute voice like this, but he immediately brushed that stupid way of thinking away and throws his best (fake) smile at Jaemin, “What’s up?” he said as he placed his bag on his desk before walking towards Jaemin and Donghyuck’s seat with Renjun trailing behind him.

But Jaemin’s expression suddenly changing and he crossed his arms over his chest, now Jeno knows what this all about, but he chose to not saying anything before Jaemin start it first. “Why don’t you reply any of my texts, but you replied to Hyuck’s!” the younger starts complaining again, not forgetting to put his pouty lips on his face, trying to show Jeno that he’s angry at him right now.

Jeno ran a hand towards his neck, practically rubbing the back his neck because he was nervous about lying to Jaemin right now, “I…uh… don’t remember about it. I’m sorry, Nana,” he said as he gave the latter his ‘I’m sorry’ smile, and he can see that Jaemin wasn’t so pleased with his not so trustworthy answer. Well, what else that he was supposed to say? He can’t just tell him the truth, can’t he?

Jaemin waved his hand in front of Jeno’s face, “Okay, whatever, I’ll let you go with that although I knew that you were lying. But why are you not staying in my place? I mean, Aunty texted me saying that you’re gonna stay with me, but where were you, Jeno? Your house was empty and you’re not even saying anything to us!” Jaemin asked again, moving his eyes to Renjun who secretly enjoying watching Jeno being interrogated by Jaemin, “Injunnie, did you even see Jeno at the party? He keeps disappearing, right?” he asked to the older boy, trying to get Renjun to be on his side.

Renjun just shrugged his shoulder—half surprised and half entertained by the whole situation, “Well, you know—” he was being cut off by Jeno’s hand that come out from nowhere and covering up his mouth, “I stayed at Renjun’s, Nana. We kinda have some things to discuss for his club project. So, maybe until my mom is back from her work trip, I’ll be staying at his.” Jeno finally slipped it out from his mouth, and Renjun was only nodding his head to his words, although he wasn’t so sure if it was okay to agreeing to Jeno’s words.

Donghyuck raised his brows at Jeno—surprised by Jeno’s sudden confession, or maybe more like stupid excuse, “So, Jeno, you’re ditching _him_?” the orange-haired boy mindlessly stating his thought as he pointing at Jaemin, and Jeno quickly—frantically shaking his head, “No, it’s not like that! Oh my God, Hyuck!” Jeno said as he put his fingers on his temples, shooting the said boy with his glare, “Let’s just forget this, okay?” he said to both Jaemin and Donghyuck before getting back to his seat, now he’s the one who are dragging Renjun away with him before the older could say anything to both Jaemin and Donghyuck.

 

*****

 

Both Jeno and Renjun are enjoying their lunch at the canteen, in peace, with only the two of them since Jeno insisted.

Renjun, who are usually hanging out with his China Line—that’s what the other kids calling their group—now have to ditches his own group for saving Jeno’s ass. “Just tell me why are you not with them, Jeno?” Renjun asked the black-haired boy as he proceed to feed himself with the sandwich on his right hand, eyeing the table that was three tables away from them and Jeno taking a quick glance at them then back to Renjun again, “I just…don’t want to hanging out with them right now, Injun—not when Jaehyun’s there,” he rolled his eyes when he says Jaehyun’s name, mindlessly drinking his ice lemon tea in a big gulp and shutting his eyes close when the sour of the drink hits him.

Renjun shrugged his shoulder, “Well, but they can get the wrong idea about everything, Jen. They’ll start thinking about why did you avoiding them, so suddenly like this. Sooner or later, they’ll come to you. And you’ll also have to tell Donghyuck and Mark about you having this long-term crush on Jaemin.” he warned the boy who sat next to him.

Renjun was right. They’ll come to him in the end, asking for his reasons and all. His eyes were focusing on his food as he lets out a sigh, “For now, I don’t care, okay? I just don’t want to be on the same table as them.” he said, starts poking his sandwich with his fork, as he was looking at his friends table again, “Hey, didn’t they seem to be dating already?” Jeno said, trying to convincing Renjun about his thought on Jaemin and Jaehyun, and it seems like God really hate him when his eyes unexpectedly meeting with Jaehyun’s and the older boy was immediately waving his hand towards him with his bright smile. _He’s so handsome for goddamn sake. No wonder Jaemin like him so much_.

And it feels like God hates him even more when He decides to make Jaemin also turning his face to Jeno’s direction, and Jeno quickly turned his face away from the younger boy as he bits his lower lips in nervousness, eating his messy sandwich again, while Renjun was laughing at him when he starts to choke on his sandwich.

 

“Shit.”

 

*****

 

Jeno was hanging around with Renjun almost all the time that day—he sticks close to him for the whole day. He sits with Renjun all the time, playing basketball with him, going to the library with him, even going to the literature club which he actually wasn’t a part of it. It’s just—he doesn’t want to be near his group for that day, at least, that’s what he _wished_.

While Jeno was waiting for Renjun at the outside club’s room, he met Mark—it was more like, Mark finally found him, actually. And to Jeno’s record, he forgets the fact that Mark was actually also a member of the literature club, who intendedly skipping the meeting for the day.

“Jeno.” The older called out to Jeno’s name and he immediately looked up at him, trying not to looking like a lost puppy, which is failed, “Uh… Sup, Mark?” he gives him his thin smile when Mark handed him the notebook he’s been asking for from a couple days ago. He mouthed thanks to the older boy and back to his phone again, scrolling over his twitter timeline.

Mark was only standing there awkwardly waiting for Jeno to ask him to sit down with him, but it looks like the younger boy is just too busy with his own world right now so that he just slowly bringing himself to sit on the seat next to Jeno with the awkwardness still showering over him, “H-hey, can I ask you something, Jeno?” he asked, almost like whispering actually. And Jeno just nodded while his eyes were still fixed on his phone, trying to not making his panic mode to looked obvious to Mark.

Another awkward silence.

Jeno turned his head to looking at Mark, having the urge to push Mark to go on with his question, when Mark himself was suddenly speaking up again. “Why are you ignoring us?” Mark asked with the uncertainty in his tone was so clear to Jeno. Those words felt like stabbing his chest, so deep right into his heart. He never really meant it to be like this. He never wanted it to turn out to be like this. He just…can’t stand to see his crush— _his Jaemin_ —with his ‘boyfriend’ being around.

Jeno then put his phone back into his pocket before letting out a nervous sigh, “Uhm… I’m not ignoring you, Mark.” He looked at him with a thin smile, “I’m still talking to you, just like right now, right?” he laughed dryly and Mark knows Jeno was hiding something from him. He scooted closer to the younger boy, “Is this perhaps has something to do with Jaemin?” Mark asked him again, placing his palm on Jeno’s shoulder and giving him a light squeeze on it.

Jeno remain silent again. He didn’t know if he should trust Mark about this or not, but he also felt so guilty for not letting the latter knows about his secret, after their whole long-term friendship. It’s unfair, because as far as he remembered, Mark never hesitated to talk about all his secrets to him, while Jeno himself here, doubting Mark’s credibility for keeping his secret safe.

He was about to say all the words he really need to say to Mark when he was being cut off by him, again, “It’s okay if you’re still not ready to tell me about it, Jeno. I’ll wait. I can wait for you.” the older smile at him, caressing his head like a big brother he always do, and Jeno felt even more guilty than he already did.

“No, actually, Mark—”

The sound of door swinging open from across the hall surprised the two of them. The club already dismissed from their meeting. And they can see Renjun was there smiling at both of them when he was walking out from the room, “Oh! Mark!” he grinned so wide and throwing himself at the older, giving him the warmest hug he would always have.

“Jun, it’s only been a couple hours we didn’t see each other, okay?” Mark rolled his eyes on the younger. “Just accept it that I’m a clingy baby, Dad,” the younger stucking out his tongue at him as he released the older boy from his tight hug, “Why don’t you come to the meeting though? Got things to do with Hyuck again?” he asked Mark with his knowing smirk and Mark just shoved him away with a blush on his cheeks, “Shut up, kid,” he lets out his chuckle and Renjun just give him a light punch on his arm.

Renjun finally averting his gaze to Jeno, “Oh, Jeno, wanna go home now? Or, maybe you two still got something to talk? I can wait.” he asked when he finally picking up his bag that he threw away when he was about to hugged Mark before.

And Jeno once again losing his confidence for confessing his secret to Mark as he gave Mark the sorry look and the latter was just smiling at him, “That’s okay, bro! You can tell me just whenever you’re ready to tell me, okay? We’re only one call away, remember?” he ruffled the younger’s hair and he also did the same to Renjun when he finally gets up from his seat, “I’m going first now, kids,” he laughed when he sees Renjun was frowning at him as he fixed his messy hair.

 

*****

 

The two boys are now lying on the queen-size bed, so close to each other, having their quality time while they were being accompanied with some snacks and drinks, and a ‘Love, Rosie’ movie were being played on a laptop—which they never really put their full attention to, because they’re just so busy talking to each other, feeling each other’s warmth, feeling the caring touch, the warm hugs, the soft kisses that the other had offer to the other one.

The younger boy took a deep breath of his boyfriend’s sweet scent as he buried his face even closer into the crook of his neck as if it was still possible, “Jae?” he called out to his name and the latter was answering him with a hum. “Do you think that Jeno hates me?” the younger ask his boyfriend as he looking up to his face, checking up on his boyfriend’s reaction.

The older boy was giving him a confused look and moved his hand from the younger’s waist to his head, starts playing with the strands of the hair that sticking right on his neck, “And what makes you think like that, Nana?” he said as he bring his face close to the younger’s hair again and planted a long kiss on the top of his head as his eyes were back to the screen in front of them once again.

He could hear that Jaemin was letting out a deep-frustrated-sigh and he knows that it’s not a good sign, so that he quickly averted his eyes to him, placing his free hand on Jaemin’s cheek and making him to looking at him again, “Baby, you can tell me about everything, okay?” he said, trying to reassuring his boyfriend as he keeps on looking straight into the younger’s eyes.

Jaemin was hesitated at first, but he was just so fed up with this bottled up feelings. “Well, he’s been ignoring—uh, no, he’s been avoiding me, these past few days, Jae. I don’t even know what I’ve done to him and he even barely let me to talk to him. He keeps on shutting me out from his life by saying that he was busy or he choose to not to tell me his reason at all. He has never been like this before… Not even once. I don’t know what makes him being so willingly to avoid me like this, though. Am I not a good friend? Oh, or did he getting tired of having a friend like me? Oh my God, Jaehyun, what should I do? What if I was right about him getting tired for having a stupid friend like me?” he starts to ramble again, and Jaehyun found it cute when Jaemin rambling like this. He just can’t stop himself when he sees his boyfriend being so cute like this.

He leaned in to the younger’s face and give him pecks on literally all over his face and Jaemin was slowly smiling to the sweet acts that Jaehyun gave him, the smile was blooming even wider when he heard Jaehyun whispering the sweet words, “Why are you so cute?” to Jaemin, right in front of his lips and he literally can feel his warm breathe on his lips—before he finally planted a long peck on Jaemin’s lips and puts their foreheads together for the final act, “Baby, don’t worry too much, okay? No one will ever be tired for a having a wonderful person like you by their side. Instead, they’ll be so lucky to have you. You just got to give him some space for himself, maybe? Okay?” he said.

Jaemin was looking right into Jaehyun’s eyes again then down to have his gaze fixed on Jaehyun’s lips before pecking the older’s lips again, “But for how long? I’m so tired from getting his cold shoulder, you know.” Jaemin said apparently to himself, hiding his face on the crook of Jaehyun’s neck, again, like it was the safest place for him right now.

Jaehyun was silent for a moment, but then he managed to say something when Jaemin leaving a small kisses on his neck, giving him the sign that Jaemin wanted his answer. “I think, for as long as he needs it, Nana.” he smiled to his words, holding Jaemin even closer and tighter inside his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally i got some free time to update the story! <3  
> omg and you guys!  
> the dream show is really making me sdjsksksjdksdjk  
> i'm just so sooo happy today to see the babies are having a great time with the knctzen! TTATT
> 
> anyway, enjoy this lame chapter babies! ;"D  
> sorry for any typos or even wrong grammars and all of their friends ! x'D


	4. Chapter 4

It’s been more than 2 weeks since the last time Jeno tried to talk or even greeted Jaemin whenever he saw him at campus or even when they saw each other at the crossroad near their houses. They tend to just looking at each other with no one wants to opened up their mouth, whether they’re just too afraid or just too coward to do so, so they ended up looking away from each other and walked away.

While Jeno was lying down on his comfy bed, his mother was calling out to him from downstairs, and he could hear the steps that his mother took on each stairs. _She’s going to get to my room soon_ , he start guessing. He immediately getting up from the bed and running to his door, “Yes, Mom?” he answered from behind his door before finally opened it for his mother, finding her already there standing in front of his door with her sweet smile.

“Hina is here.” she informed him as she breaks in into Jeno’s room, starts looking around the room and opened up the curtains that covering his window, “Jeez, your room is such a mess, young man.” she said with a tiny voice which Jeno can hear it clear in his ears but he chose to ignore it, “Well, I don’t remember telling her to come over, though?” he said as he took his phone from his bed when his mother starts fixing his bed and Jeno tried to stop her by running towards her and back-hugging her, “Mom, just leave it, it’ll get messy again later when I came back,” he giggled when he felt his mom’s slender fingers started to tickling the side of his waist.

She turned around in Jeno’s arms so now that she can looking at him with a better angle, “I really can’t stop you and your messy room, can’t I?” she said as she cupped her son’s face, and Jeno, as his habit, plantinga long kiss on his mother’s forehead, “At least you’ve tried, Mom,” he joked and both of them shared a light laugh together, before Jeno’s mother reminds him about Hina again. He gave her a peck on the cheek, “I’m going downstairs now, okay?” he smiled before finally leaving his room.

Jeno was still standing on the staircase when he saw Hina sitting comfortably on their family couch as she keeps on changing the tv channels. He approached her in silence and when he finally get close enough to her, he jumped onto the couch just to surprise the girl and it seem that it does work for her just by seeing her giving Jeno her death glare, but Jeno just shrugging his shoulder on her.

“So, tell me. What makes you to come to my house at this godly hour, princess? It’s still 8 in the morning!” Jeno grunts at her as he snatched the remote away from the girl’s hand, starts changing the channel again, back to his favorite cartoon in the morning, The Spongebob Squarepants.

Hina was looking at him, fixing her sitting position so that she can sit close enough to the younger boy, “Well, I just really need to talk to you about something, Jen. And I know you know about what I’m going to ask you right now,” she said, sitting crossed-leg on the couch. That’s right, Jeno knows about what she was going to ask him, but he just got to keep it cool in front of her so that he nodded his head, “Shoot,” he said, taking a quick glance at the girl next to him and back to the screen again.

“Why are you avoiding Nana?”

_See?_

Jeno remain silent. _Why can’t you guys just stop asking me about this_ , he thought.

“Jaemin told me—no, us, that you’ve been avoiding him for these couple weeks in a row, Lee Jeno. He said you didn’t even greets him when you see him at his front gate. And I guess all of this was started after my party, am I right? What happened, kid?” she said as she scooted even closer to Jeno, leaning her chin on the boy’s shoulder, looking at him in full of curiosity.

And Jeno knows he could never hide this feeling— _this_   _secret_.

Jeno leaned his back to the couch head, “I guess you’ll be the first one who gets to know about this, Hina,” he sighed.

Hina gasped, “Oh, I felt so honored, Your Majesty.”

“Can you stop? I just remembered that you’re not the first, Hina-chan.”

“Yeah, but still,” she shrugged her shoulders, tugging up the corner of her lips.

Jeno lets out a scoff at her, “Can we just move on?”

And Hina nodded her head eagerly, “Go on!”

Jeno took his deep breath as he closed his eyes, preparing his heart for finally opened up about his secret to his best friend, a mother-like best friend.  “I was jealous.” he’s looking at the girl, but then moved his eyes onto the room’s ceiling, fidgeting his fingers since he felt so nervous right now. He never knew that he’s finally going to tell his secret to one of his best friend.

“Jealous? Who make you feel like that?” she said as she placed her palm on the back of Jeno’s hand, caressing it softly, giving him the sign of her support.

Just by thinking about the two newly couple making his heart sunk in pain again. He starts nibbling his lower lip, “Jaehyun…” he whispered but Hina still could hear it clear, giving a light slap on Jeno’s chest, “Jaehyun? O-oh my God! Johnny’s friend? The Jung Jaehyun?” she asked in pure surprise and Jeno just nodded his head in the most his shy state.

Jeno closed his eyes because he could never handle what kind of reaction that Hina will show to him. But actually, Hina herself was so happy right now because she finally found the missing piece of the puzzle that she tried to solve with Mark and Donghyuck, so that she smiled widely at him, “You like Nana, don’t you?” she starts guessing as she hold onto Jeno’s shoulder and Jeno couldn’t hide his blushing cheeks from her but he just kind of nodding his head again, “Yeah, since our high school time…” Jeno said as he tried to cover up his reddened cheeks with his hands and Hina was gasping and turned into squealing after it.

As she started to shaking the boy’s body roughly, she realized that Jeno, once again, being the dumbest friend she ever had, so that she shoved him away, a little bit harder than she intended, “But why don’t you tell me sooner? I can help you with that, you know!” she pouted, crossing her arms over her chest.

Jeno spread a bitter smile on his lips as he proceed to sitting up straight again, “Well, but Jaemin already has feelings for Jaehyun since then too, princess. I’m hopeless—this feeling is just too hopeless from the start… At that time, I was still too afraid to admit that this feeling is real. I always thought that it was only a temporary feeling and it won’t get any bigger than just a tiny stupid little crush— _that’s what I hope how it would be_. I was insecure at that time, and so, I decided just to be a loser by burying this stupid feeling deep down in me, Hina. Without even letting you guys knew about it. I’m sorry.”

Witnessing Jeno’s deep kind of confession and looking him being so down like this, Hina couldn’t help herself but to wrap her arms around Jeno’s torso, “No, no, it’s okay! And don’t say that, baby. Mommy is sad just by hearing it! You’re not hopeless, okay? You can still get him back if you want to try, Jeno...” she said as she leaned her chin on Jeno’s shoulder again, giving him a light squeeze on his arm.

Jeno’s mind started to going back to their high school time again, remembering on how Jaemin will start to blushing just by talking to Jaehyun, the way he talked about how cool and mesmerizing Jaehyun is, how he always hoped Jaehyun will someday returning his feeling—which is now turning into reality.

Jaehyun did returned Jaemin’s feeling and that’s when Jeno realized that he was an idiot for letting himself being so blind, being so dumb for letting his heart to control his emotion.

If only he wasn’t so afraid of rejection, if only he was brave enough to admit his own feelings, if only Jaehyun wasn’t there from the first place, all of this things would never happened, right?

“But he loves Jaehyun, Hina. What am I supposed to do now? It’s just so impossible to get him back. They’re getting together now, right?” Jeno said as he tilted his head and leaning his cheek on the top of Hina’s head, letting out a deep sigh, for the nth times, “Maybe I should just move on,” he said.

Hina remains silent and Jeno just let her be, because he knows that the girl was thinking about something right now—whether it was about how to make him feels better or maybe just thinking of how did Jeno finds out about Jaehyun and Jaemin’s new relationship.

Jeno moved his head slightly away from Hina when she started to sitting up-straight, looking at him with her sympathetic look, “I know it hurt you, but you still need to talk with Nana, Jeno. He’s really sad right now, you know. He always thought why would you, his best friend—his closest one, avoiding him just like that without telling him anything. He looked so lost when you’re not there, even when he’s with Jaehyun, Jen. And I can see it—he always needs you.” she finally tells him what’s on her mind.

And Jeno starts feeling so bad about everything. He feels bad for being stupid again, for being so easily letting his emotion to control him once again.

It’s not only Jaemin who felt lost,

_but Jeno too._

“Yeah, maybe I should really talk to him…”

 

*****

 

The night breeze hits Jeno right in the face when he opened up his front door and stepping out from his house. From his terrace, he looked up to the night sky, questioning his own decision right now. He was about to go to Jaemin’s house and he was curious if he’s ready for whatever that has been waiting for him after this. Is he ready enough to accept the reality that he was going to face?

He shook his head, trying to brushed the bad thoughts away and finally got the courage to walking out from his hiding place straight to Jaemin’s house, with a light step, surprisingly.

He opened the front gate and when it made a creaky sound, he’s sure the owner of the house would aware of his presence, but he didn’t let that thought lingering inside his head as he keeps on walking towards the front door.

But when he finally reached his destination, he starts hesitating again. What if Jaemin already hates him? What if Jaemin didn’t want to listen to any of his explanation? Or maybe the worst—what if Jaemin never wanted to see him again and tell him to fuck off from his life?

“This is so fucked up! Should I just go back now?” he asked himself as he unconsciously lift up his hand and place it right in front of the door’s bell. But before he could ever press the bell, the door was suddenly opened up.

“Jeno?” the brown-haired boy from the house called out his name, with this kind of surprised and relieved look on his face. Jeno didn’t know why but when he finally saw his face so close like this again, he also felt relieved—he felt at ease.

Jeno gives him his awkward smile, “Um…hi?” he greeted the latter and he can see that Jaemin’s eyes are tearing up right now _. Damn, what have I done_ , Jeno thought.

But Jaemin was trying to look unaffected by Jeno's presence as he placed his hands on each side of his waist, “What are you doing here? I thought we were playing this game called ‘not talking to each other for as long as _you_ want’, right, Jeno?” the younger boy said with the sarcastic was so clear on his voice, he looked disappointed, and Jeno totally understand why.

“Nana, I know you’re mad at me right now, I can see it so clearly here. I just wanted to explain everything to you because I realized what I did the past few days—“

“ _Weeks_ , you bastard.”

“...O-okay, weeks. And I—I think that its was a really dumb move. So, please, Jaemin. Can we have a talk? Like a really long talk?” Jeno pleaded and he can see that Jaemin’s facial expression was softened as he slide his hands down from his waist and dropped it limply on his side.

“You know that it hurt me, right?” Jaemin said in the most desperate tone and Jeno quickly nodded to it. “You know that you’re a jerk for making me feel like a bad friend here, right?” he said again and Jeno did the same thing as he did before.

His lips were forming a soft smile, a smile that actually makes Jeno wanted to cry, a smile that always help Jeno to feel better on a shitty day, a smile that’s just so breathtakingly beautiful and he looked so damn gorgeous with that smile that Jeno wanted to tattooed it on his forehead.

“Come here,” Jaemin finally said as he opened up his arms for him, and Jeno immediately throwing himself into Jaemin’s embrace.

 

_I missed you so much._

 

*****

 

Both of them are now already in Jaemin’s room, sitting on the edge of the bed, side to side, awkwardly. It was actually Jeno who still felt a little bit awkward there, since he was the one who feels at guilt, while Jaemin is always trying to open up the conversation with him by asking him about his activities these past few days—weeks. But then they just remain silent again when they already run out of topics.

And now, Jaemin was trying to loosen up the awkwardness again, by laying down on the bed and put his head on Jeno’s lap, and of course, Jeno get flustered at first, but by looking at the soft look that Jaemin gave him, he smiled at him.

“So, Jeno,” the younger starts again as he played with Jeno’s fingers, “Don’t you say that you wanted to explain everything to me?” he asked.

Jeno hummed, “Where do I start, then?”

“Well, from the party? You were gone that night! I thought that something bad might be happening to you!” Jaemin starts scolding him again with his pouty lips as he slapped the older’s chest lightly.

Jeno rubs the spot where Jaemin slapped him just now, “It was basically you guys who left me, don’t you remember? Mark and Hyuck are just too busy with their making out session, Hina and Koeun are just the same with Mark and Hyuck, and you—“ Jeno looking at the confused Jaemin, “You‘re with Jaehyun.” he said as he tried to saying it without showing his real emotion to him.

And he can see that Jaemin’s cheeks were lighting up with a pink blush from the moment he mentioned Jaehyun’s name. _Well, shit does hurt_ , Jeno thought.

“And you want to know why I’ve been avoiding you these past few weeks? It’s all because I feel betrayed, Nana.” He sighed as he looked away from Jaemin. He never felt his heart beating this fast before.

The younger boy now sitting up straight again and looking close to Jeno’s face, “Betrayed? But—what did I do that it made you feel betrayed like that, Jeno?” he asked with his confused look. It seems like Jaemin was really clueless about everything around him—everything about Jeno.

Jeno lets out another sigh, “You’re not telling me that you’ve been dating Jaehyun since a week before the party. Why’d you do that, Nana?”

Jaemin was opening up his mouth but then decided to close it again. He didn’t know what to say, actually, but he tried to aswer Jeno’s question anyway. “Jeno… I was about to make it as a surprise, you know. But how did you found out?”

Jeno squinted his eyes at Jaemin, but chose to looked away one more time, “Remember that day when the five of us gathering up at Mark and Hyuck’s place? When you’re busy with your phone and it turns out that you were texting with Hyuck because, hell, I know you two were keep stealing glances at each other and then the giggles and all? And then Hyuck was squealing like a girl while Hina, Mark and I were so clueless but you two refused to tell us what’s going on? Well, lucky me, I, somehow, accidentally read your notification from Hyuck asking about how did Jaehyun did it when he ask you to be his boyfriend and all. And, yeah, that’s it. I spilled the tea already.” he had finally says it all.

Well, not _everything_ , actually. He still hasn’t confessed about his feelings to Jaemin.

Jeno was waiting for the younger’s reaction and all Jeno can see was a wide smile on Jaemin’s face before he finally held both of Jeno’s hands as he keep looking at him so fondly, “Jeno, I’m really sorry if that actually bothers you, I should have known. I never thought you’ll be this upset with me, Jeno. I was actually going to tell you about it at the party, that’s why I insisted you to come with me. I’m really really sorry, okay? Will you forgive me, Jeno?” he said as he squeezed the older’s hands lightly just to gain the attention that he need.

Jeno was looking at him in silent at first. He doesn’t want to looked weak in front of Jaemin, he doesn’t want Jaemin to think that he’s a softie for him, no. He didn’t want to look like that in front of Jaemin—never. “I’m not going to forgive you that easy, though,” he mumbled but its still so clear to Jaemin’s ears.

Jaemin smiled even wider, “Jeno, I’ll try hard enough to make you believe me again and forgive me, okay?” he tried to reassuring Jeno again as he scooted closer to Jeno until they bumped their knees. Even with only knees bumping like this are enough to make Jeno’s heart beating a little bit faster than before. He wanted to keep his cool image in front of Jaemin right now, but it looks like he couldn’t do it, he could never.

“Buy me an ice cream at Mrs. Park’s stall, and I’ll forgive you.” Jeno showed him his cheeky grin and Jaemin can’t help but pushing Jeno away until his back was flat to the bed, “Stop playing around! I’m never going to that place anymore if I’m going to get scolded from her again!” he crossed his arms when he saw Jeno was laughing at him.

Jeno, whose laugh are slowly fading away, decided to lying on the bed and Jaemin, moving closer to the older boy, naturally snuggling his face into Jeno’s shirt as he inhaled the older’s body scent, “I missed you, Jeno, so much.” the younger said into Jeno’s chest. And just by hearing it , Jeno felt so warm inside, like he’s home—finally. His heart felt warm.

But then when the reality hits him again, he feels bad once again.

This is bad.

  

_“I missed you too, Nana.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! i'm finally updating again! ^^  
> and yes, this chapter is longer than the other chapters sjkdkjdls
> 
> anyway! thank you guys so much for reading this!  
> don't forget to drop some comments and kudos! <3  
> xoxo
> 
> #ps : i still can't get over from dream show TT-TT


	5. Chapter 5

After their making up on that night, everything seems like it’s going back to its old places, it’s all back to normal again—at least that was what Jeno thought at first.

But as the times goes by, Jeno feels bad, to Jaehyun particularly. He felt bad because they’re back to like how they used to be in the past—far from when Jaehyun wasn’t even there, and that’s a problem.

Why?

Well, because, Jeno doesn’t want to be the third wheeler in Jaemin and Jaehyun’s relationship. It was never become his intention from the first time. He just wanted to be good with Jaemin again, but never wanted to destroy his best friend’s relationship.

And why would he think like that, though?

Since Jaemin is back being the old Jaemin again, it means that he’s back to the spoiled and clingy Jaemin. The Jaemin that always wanted Jeno to always stay close to him and Jeno can sense that Jaehyun is now started to get jealous with him.

Just like what happened today, when Jaehyun asked Jaemin to come home with him, or you could say staying at Jaehyun’s place, Jaemin rejecting his offer because he said that it was Jeno’s turn for sleepover. And of course, Jaehyun got furious and disappointed at him because of it. Well, who aren’t getting mad when their boyfriend was being ridiculous like that, right? It’s supposed to be their dates—their cuddly sweet times, but now, it’s being ruined by the third-wheeler, Lee Jeno.

And the worst part is, when he knows that Jaehyun was mad at him, Jaemin didn’t even try to fix his problem—or he just didn’t realized that he was the one at fault. Instead, he goes to Jeno’s place, still on with his plan for having their sleepover, without telling Jeno that he’s having another fight with his boyfriend at that time.

So now, when the two of them are in Jeno’s room, with Jaemin was lying with his tummy flat on Jeno’s bed, and Jeno himself was sitting on the floor with his back leaning to the side of his bed while ‘The Avengers’ was being played on the tv in front of them right now, but it seems like something was bothering Jeno’s mind at the same time.

“Hey, Nana?” he called to the younger boy who are now focus wasn’t on the movie anymore but Jeno’s hair, and the asked boy was responding with a hum as he buried half of his face into the pillow. “Is Jaehyun okay with this? I mean, you’re like, really, _really_ sticking up with me lately. I don’t want him to get any wrong idea about me, you know..” Jeno said when he finally turned his head to looking at the younger boy and he could finally see him pouting at him. “He’s okay! Don’t worry too much, Jeno!” he said as he started to squeeze Jeno’s cheeks with his palms.

Jeno closed his eyes—tilting his head to his left side, leaning into Jaemin’s touch on his cheek, but then he realized that Jaemin wasn’t supposed to act like this— _he wasn’t supposed to act like this_ , so that he take Jaemin’s hands away from his face, “But this can be considered as cheating, Nana,” he said as he put his focus all on Jaemin, “If I were Jaehyun—“

Jeno’s phone suddenly rang. A call from Renjun came.

“I got to pick it up, Nana,” Jeno said as he took his phone that was lying on the floor next to him, “Hi, Junnie,” he greeted the older boy on the phone when it was already being placed on his ear, getting up from where he were seated just now and walking out towards his balcony.

“ ** _I thought you’re asleep already_** ,” the other line said with a sigh following his words, and Jeno just frown to it, “What’s wrong, Jun? You doesn’t sound so good just now?” the black-haired boy asked.

A louder sigh now could be heard from Renjun, “ ** _That jerk was ignoring my text again! Who the fuck is he to think that he can treat me like this?_** ” he said, with some sniffles this time. “Yukhei? Oh my God, Renjun, are you crying right now?” Jeno gasped, he never knew that Renjun would cry over something like this, because all he knows that Renjun was the type who always tried to look so strong and cool—definitely not someone who are a softie for his crush, like Jeno.

Renjun was saying something right now but Jeno suddenly can’t hear him when he felt a pair of arms wrapped around his chest, with his blanket covering up their bodies and a head was leaning on the back of his head. He can feel the warm breath on his nape that it made him shivers.

“The movie is about to end, Jeno.” Jaemin said right into his ear, and it was loud enough for Renjun to catch. “ ** _Wow, Lee Jeno. Did you just steal someone’s boyfriend here?_** ” Renjun said with his mocking tone and Jeno rolled his eyes on that, “Don’t start it, babe,” he said, but now with his smirk when he heard Renjun’s groaning on the other line. “ ** _Well, then, talk to you later, lover boy,_** ” Renjun said with his mocking tone as always and immediately cutting off the call.

Jeno was about to turn his body around to face Jaemin when the younger boy burying his face on Jeno’s shoulder, “Please, no. Stay like this for a second.” he said to Jeno’s shoulder and he sounds sad too now.

“Jaemin…”

Jaemin tightening his hug on Jeno’s body as the blanket was slowly slipping off from their bodies, “Jaehyun actually asked me to come home with him today, but I said that I can’t because it’s our sleepover time. I know it’s just so silly of me to say something like that and I feel so bad for turning him down like that, Jeno.” Jaemin said as he lifted up his face when Jeno can finally turned his body to face him, “Do you think that he will forgive me?” he said with eyes were looking at Jeno’s with sadness were well-written on it.

Jeno lets out a sigh as he cupped Jaemin’s face with both hands, “Nana, I’m pretty sure that Jaehyun is disappointed right now and you really have to fix this, like, right now,” Jeno suggested him, “Just call him. Talk to him.” he smiled as he brushed the younger’s cheek with his thumb, and his smile getting even wider when he saw that Jaemin starts pouting again.

Jaemin was hesitate at first but then he nodded his head to Jeno’s suggestion as he took his phone out from his pocket, dialing Jaehyun’s number and to his surprise, Jaehyun picked it up almost immediately. “Hi, baby…” Jaemin said with his shaky voice, which Jeno knows that the younger boy was holding in his tears right now, but his facial expression quickly lighten up when he heard Jaehyun’s voice from the other line. He can clearly see that Jaemin’s cheeks turned into rosy peach color and his smile is getting prettier and sweeter by the time he listened to his boyfriend’s comforting words.

_And Jeno is hurt, once again._

 

*****

 

“Hey,” Renjun elbowing the boy who is now walking lazily next to him when they were on their way to the library, “You good, kid?” he asked. And the asked boy, Jeno, just nodded his head weakly, not saying even a word while he kept his eyes locked onto the ground, hands were tucked deeply into his pockets.

Renjun took a deep breath as he did the thing that Jeno do just now, “So,” he ducked his head to the front a little, “It’s been three days, am I right?” the smaller asked again and Jeno just nodded his head again, but with a sigh following after it.

Yes, it’s been three days that Jaemin hasn’t contacting him since their last sleepover and when they met at the campus, Jaemin will only giving him a simple hi or even just a thin smile. He didn’t know what went wrong, but he was guessing that it must be something to do with Jaehyun again, and Jeno respect him about it. All he need to do now is not to bother the latter by asking him any questions.

Jeno was still busy with his own mind when he heard “Jenononooo!” through the hall and everyone was started to give Jeno that kind of look—the humiliating look. Jeno lets out another deep sigh and turned around to face the younger with his frowns, “What is it, Hyuck? Can you please at least lower your voice? I’m not in the mood right now.” he said when the said boy throws himself at Jeno, hugging him tight—particularly wrapping his arms and legs on Jeno’s body.

Donghyuck immediately jumped off from Jeno’s body—shoving the black-haired boy away, but not too hard, “Is this still about my baby Nana?” he asked straight away and Jeno turned his face away from him, trying to hide those slight blushes on his cheeks.

That’s right. Donghyuck (and Mark) already know about his secret now and of course they know it from no other than the queen Hina. So now that he doesn’t have to hide anything from them—from his best friends, except the Na Jaemin himself.

“Jen, just be happy, okay? You still have me, Injun, Mark, and Hina too!” he pouts as he interchanged gazes with Renjun who was nodding to Donghyuck’s words, “I mean, he’s your best friend—well, that’s what Jaemin always think about you, right? So act like it.” Donghyuck said as he starts walking ahead from the other two and Jeno just nodding his head, agreeing to what Donghyuck has said, even though he actually never really pays any attention to whatever Donghyuck said just now. He’s just not in the mood for hearing any shits that day.

Donghyuck turned to looking at Renjun with his naughty smile, “And besides,” he said, didn’t seem to be able to stop from his giggles, “Why don’t you just try to date this guy over here so you can move on from Nana, Jen?” Donghyuck said and Renjun starts giving him his legendary death glare in return.

Jeno shook his head, not even looking at both of them as he keeps on walking towards their destination, “He’s having a hopeless crush with that tall guy Yukhei, Hyuck.”

The orange-haired boy raised his brows at Renjun, clapping his hands eagerly, “Why don’t you guys just help each other to move on from your hopeless crushes, then?”

Jeno then stopping his pace and looking at him, “Hyuck, can you stop it? And please don’t add the hopeless part anymore, alright?” Jeno frowned at him as he starts to walk away again from the other two and Renjun immediately following Jeno after that, finally leaving Donghyuck behind them.

“Well, then, how about no luck?” Donghyuck suggested, following both of the boys in front of him. “Shut up!!” both Jeno and Renjun were shouting at him and Donghyuck just laughed it off.

Once the three of them are already getting inside the library, they immediately going onto separate ways to find the books they need for their papers. Thank God that it’s not so crowdy that day.

Jeno was walking through the ally between the bookshelves, looking for his books, but when he was looking at the books that were right on his eyes level, he could see someone was looking at him from across him through this small space between the books, with a familiar beautiful smile to Jeno. It’s the most beautiful smile in the whole world for him—beside his Mother’s.

Now that he also got a smile on his face, “Nana?” he called whisper to him and Jaemin just raised his brows and mouthed a single ‘Hi’ at him. Jeno starts to look around the bookshelves, “You come alone?” Jeno whispering again as he take the book on the upper shelf before looking at Jaemin again. Jaemin smiled, “I’m with Jaehyun, but he’s going to another section right now,” he was talking a little too loud so that they got the annoyed look from people near them.

Jaemin took the book in front of him before stealing a quick glance on this boy across him, “I saw Renjun at the astronomy section just now. Are you perhaps coming here with him today too?” Jaemin suddenly ask and it surprises Jeno. It’s somehow feels like he was getting caught on cheating from Jaemin, so that he lets out an awkward laugh, “I-I’m also with Hyuck, Nana,” he answered and Jaemin seems relieved as his wide smile was back on his face again, “Oh, I thought it’s just the two of you.” he said.

Jeno raised a brow, “Is it strange, though?” he asked and it flustering the younger boy. “W-well, I thought that you two were dating?” Jaemin blinks his eyes innocently while Jeno’s eyes were widened when he heard of what Jaemin has said to him, “Nana—”

Jaemin starts to chuckle, “Jeno, it’s okay, you know! I totally get it! You’re just being shy to admit it right now, right?” Jaemin said a little bit too loud again with his bright smile which was seems like it being forced for Jeno, it doesn’t seem so sincere like his usual smile.

And for what Jaemin had done before, they got shushed by people near them which is now they got so embarrassed since they really get the cynical look on them, but they just laughed it off anyway.

Jaemin took a piece of paper from his notebook and writing something on it. _“ **Sorry that I got us into trouble again.** ”_ Jaemin passed the paper to Jeno, and when Jeno read it, he looked up to Jaemin and found the latter was smiling at him so widely, and making this ‘x’ gesture with his forefingers and put it right in front of his lips. Jeno can’t help but smiling just as wide as Jaemin is right now, starts writing on the paper too.

 

_“So, we’re writing letters now?”_

     

_" **People just hate it when we got so noisy and whispery in the library, Jeno.** ”_

 

_"Hey, but it kinda feels like nostalgic, right, Nana?”_

 

When Jaemin take the paper from Jeno, he can feel his phone was buzzing inside his pocket, not even use his chance to write down on the paper, instead, to looking at his phone, finding out that Jaehyun was looking for him.

And before Jeno could say anything, Jaemin cut him off, “Jeno, I’m sorry but I got to go now. Jaehyun is waiting for me at the front desk already.” he said as he looked up from his phone. “See you around, Jen,” he waved his hand on Jeno with _that_ smile on his lips before finally leaving Jeno alone again.

 

*****

 

Jeno and Renjun are now on their way to Renjun’s apartment and no, it’s not that far, only 10 minutes by walking. They were planning on to do their group’s project—which is Donghyuck also the part of the group but he decided to ditch the group work for his date with Mark—and Jeno also already planning on to have sleepover at Renjun’s that night before, so, that’s that.

And as the time goes by, they ended up ignoring their unfinished project, and instead, they played video games for hours and also having their movie time right after it. And this time, Renjun ask for a horror movie and Jeno couldn’t say no to it because the last time they’re having their movie time, it was Jeno’s pick and it turns out to be a really boring movie.

They sat on the couch across the big screen, side to side with a bowl of popcorns between them as the movie got started. It’s not even reaching the half of the movie yet, and Renjun started to feel sleepy, but he always tried to keep his eyes opened and failed. Even when the shocking scene came up on the screen, he didn’t even flinched any bit because he already has his eyes closed. And Jeno was too busy with the movie that he didn’t even realize that his friend was already fall into his deep sleep.

The bowl was already empty when it finally reach the half of the movie and Jeno decided to take the empty bowl back to the kitchen, and getting another snacks for them—for him in particular—and a glass of apple juice for him (it’s a real apple juice, not beer, okay.), and looking at the top of Renjun’s head that only came up a little to the surface, “Renjun, do you want some juice too?” he asked from the kitchen, but there’s no response from the smaller boy, so that Jeno decided to go back to the couch with the snacks and his apple juice.

“Injun…” he called out to Renjun’s name and when he finally saw Renjun’s face, he chuckled, “And who said that he can stay up until the next morning before?” Jeno talk to himself as he put down his glass and the snacks on the table in front of them, sit back next to the smaller boy. He shook Renjun’s body softly, “Huang Renjun, go sleep in your room,” Jeno said, hoping that he will waking up immediately, but failed.

Jeno decided to finish the movie, alone, before finally going to get some sleep too. And when the movie is finally done, he looked to his right side when he felt that Renjun is stirring in his sleep, so that he adjust his position to face the smaller boy next to him, “Renjun, are you awake now?” he asked, placing his hand on the smaller’s head and Renjun finally fully opening his eyes, looking at Jeno with his sleepy eyes, “Oh, Jeno? You haven’t sleep yet?” he said as he tried to sit up straight, ruffling his own hair.

He shook his head, holding his glass with his left hand while the other hand was fixing Renjun’s messy hair, “I’m not sleepy, though,” Jeno laugh as he took another sip of his apple juice, to which Renjun thought was his beer, “Is that my beer that you drink there, Lee Jeno?” Renjun’ eyes widening as he pointing at Jeno’s glass, and Jeno immediately shaking his head, “No, it’s an apple juice, Jun,” he smiled.

Renjun nodded in relief, because he knows for sure that if Jeno ever get drunk in his place, he would see him doing some stupid things again, just like the last time they go to the bar when Jeno got really drunk and started to try to kiss everyone that catches his eyes.

“Oh, by the way, Jeno,” Renjun crossing his legs on the couch as he looking at the black-haired boy with his curious look, “I suddenly remembered what Hyuck told us at the campus before,” he added as he took his phone from the table next to the couch, checking his messages box, smiling to a certain text as he was replying to it, “About?” Jeno asked in confusion, trying to take a look at Renjun’s phone, but failed, “About us trying to date each other,” the smaller boy said as he looking up at Jeno with his little smirk.

Jeno was only looking at him with this confused expression and Renjun are so fed up with his friend’s stupidity for not immediately catching his purpose, “You know, we can pretend to be boyfriends in front of Jaemin and Yukhei,” Renjun added, “You can try to see if Jaemin would be jealous knowing you dating me, and I can also know if Yukhei would react the same too or not! It’s a win-win situation, right?” he laughed.

Jeno kept thinking if this was okay, but then his curiosity about Jaemin’s reaction was eating him up so bad and so that he decided to accept Renjun’s offer, “You just awake from your sleep and you came up with this kind of idea? I really don’t know who you are anymore, Injun,” Jeno laughed as he messed up the latter’s hair that he fixed earlier. “Well, shut up, idiot. It was a brilliant idea, though,” the smaller said with a small pout on his lips.

Jeno raised a brows at the smaller boy, “Well, I hope this could really help us, Jun.” Jeno smile and Renjun’s pout now turns into a wide smile, “I hope so too!”

Renjun stretching out his hand for a handshake with Jeno, “So, boyfriend, now?” he grinned.

Jeno was only looking at the outstretched hand in front of him at first, but then welcoming it wholeheartedly, “ _Boyfriend_ ,” he laugh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i finally got the time for update!  
> sorry that i got a little bit busy these past few days ;(  
> i hope you enjoy this chapter tho!  
> xoxo <3


	6. Chapter 6

The sun is already rising up with its smile and its light was slipping into the bedroom through the covered window, while the two young boys are still fighting with themselves for waking up from their nice sleep. But being the mature his self, Renjun slowly opening his eyes and the first thing that he saw was all black. He knows that something was covering up his face, so that he moved away for a bit just to catch Jeno’s face into his vision.

He tried to move away from him, but then he realized that he was being trapped inside the black-haired boy’s arms. Being too lazy and too sleepy to give Jeno his deathly headlock, he ends up letting himself burying his own face into Jeno’s chest and resting his arm lazily on Jeno’s waist, gripping tight to the fabric that covered Jeno’s back. “Jaemin is so stupid for not liking a handsome boy like you, Lee Jeno.” He said it sleepily and he can hear that Jeno was snickering.

“You were awake this whole time, don’t you?” Renjun frowned as he pushed Jeno away from him, which he finally succeeded this time, having his back flat into the bed. Jeno doesn’t give him any single words, but instead, a light pat on his cheek that turned into soft caresses that sent the sleepiness back to Renjun as he could feel that his eyes were started to get heavy for the second time before he gets pulled by Jeno again into a side-hug, having his chin leaning on Renjun’s shoulder.

Renjun lets out a soft sigh as he tilted his head to the side so that his cheek was atop Jeno’s head, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand, “I’m still sleepy, Jeno.” he yawned when he felt Jeno’s fingers starts playing with his sleeve, “Let’s just skip class for today.” Jeno said with his raspy voice, grinning at the older boy, showing his crescent eye-smile at him.

Renjun averted his eyes at him, giving the younger boy his sleepy smile, “Well, I felt like skipping class today too,” he chuckled and turned around so that Jeno could hugged him more comfortably, burying his face on the crook of Renjun’s neck. They stayed like that for almost 15 minutes later until someone’s stomach decided to growl, letting the boys know that they really need to make some breakfast for the monsters who lived inside their stomach.

Renjun was the first one to get up from the bed while Jeno was stay still on the bed with his eyes closed and hands were grasping the bed sheets to feel the warmth that still left on it, “Hey, I only have some cereals for breakfast, Jen. You okay with that?” he asked as he slipped his feet onto his slippers, placing both of his palms on his hip when he was looking at Jeno who was about to enter the dreamland anytime soon.

Renjun lets out a huff, walking towards the bed again, “Wake up, you lazy bum!” he laughed as he pinched Jeno’s cheek really hard, which making the black-haired boy groaning in pain, “For fuck sake that’s really hurt, Huang Renjun!” he pouted and Renjun starts caressing the spot on Jeno’s cheek that he pinched before, “Sorry, _babe_ ,” he giggled as he sticking out his tongue and before Renjun can get away, Jeno pulled him back to the bed, and locked him inside his arms—tickling him as his punishment for pinching his cheek.

“Okay okay! I’m sorry I’m sorry Jeno! Stop tickling me!” Renjun laughed as he struggled to find a way for running away from Jeno’s tickles. And when they finally ran out of breath, they just stayed lying on the bed, panting really hard from their tickling session.

“Let’s make breakfast, Jeno. I’m starving now thanks to you! Aren’t you hungry?” he glanced at the boy who still lying next to him. Jeno turned his head towards him, having a smirk plastered on his lips, “Well, I can just eat you for my breakfast, Junnie,” Jeno said, trying to make the latter getting flustered but then he saw Renjun was rolling his eyes on him in return, “Whatever, loser,” Renjun kicked him on his shin and started to running out from the bedroom before Jeno could catch him, but Jeno wasn’t planning so, he was only laughing at the running boy.

After bickering about putting cereal or milk first on their bowl, they finally can have their breakfast in peace in the living room with Renjun surrendered to Jeno and lets the younger boy pouring the milk first before the cereal. And yes, they thought it would be a common morning, with the two of them lazing around the living room, playing games and watching movies non-stop. That’s all before a call from Mark comes. And a morning call usually doesn’t really have a good impression for Jeno.

He could heard a gasp from the other line before he heard Mark asking him about where he was with this kind of worried tone, and Jeno take a look at Renjun who are now also looking at him with his raised brows, “I’m still at Renjun’s right now and I guess I’m about to skip classes today. What’s up?” he answered when Renjun asked him about the caller. “It’s Mark.” Jeno said with a smile on his lips before finally feeding himself with a spoonful cereal again.

“ _ **I-I don’t know what happened, but Jaemin is looking so down today, Jeno.**_ ” the older from the other line said and Jeno lets out a sigh, setting down his spoon on his bowl, “Maybe he was having some fight with Jaehyun this morning, Mark. They were always being like that recently, right?” Jeno said as he felt that he lost his appetite already.

And by seeing the changes of Jeno’s expression Renjun couldn’t help it but to feel worried about him. He worried that Jeno might be upset from hearing just whatever the news about Jaemin is.

“ _ **He didn’t want to tell any of us here, so maybe, can you ask him, though? You know, he always willing to open up with you more than he was with me or Hyuck, Jen...**_ ” Mark asked him and Jeno lets out another sigh, “Okay, I’ll see what I can do, Mark.” the younger said as he hung up the call, immediately looking up at his contact list.

“What happened, Jeno?” Renjun asked as he got up from his seat with his bowl and Jeno’s on his hands, taking it to the dishes sink. “Mark told me that Jaemin is not looking good today and he also refused to tell them why.” Jeno said as he placed his phone back to his ear, waiting for the other line to picking up the call.

“Maybe it wasn’t a big deal, you know. You always cleaning up his mess—even from our high school time as I remembered.” Renjun said unconsciously as he get back to his seat across Jeno’s, and Jeno was only knitted his brows, a smug smile was on his face right now, “Were you observing me since then? Are you perhaps, jealous, Junnie?” he said he heard that his call was finally being picked up, “Nana?” he asked, trying not to make his to tone to sound worried.

Renjun shook his head in disbelief when he saw Jeno’s softened expression when he talk with Jaemin, “Weak!” he sticks out his tongue at Jeno as he walking straight up towards Jeno, “I’m going to take a shower now, Jeno~” he purposely saying it close to the phone so that Jaemin could hear him and Jeno widening his eyes at him and Renjun was laughing as he ran back to his room.

“ _ **Who’s that, Jeno?**_ ” Jaemin asked and Jeno was panicking as he cleared up his throat and stuttering on his words, “I-it’s Renjun, Nana.” he said as he shifted on his seat before getting up from there and walking towards this big window at the living room, sitting near it as he listen to Jaemin’s sigh, “ _ **O-oh… Okay... Did I just interrupting you guys or something?**_ ” he asked and Jeno just shook his head as his reflex, “No, Nana, it’s okay,” Jeno giggled to the thought of him and Renjun being a fake boyfriends.

There’s silence for a moment between the two, it was only filled with Jaemin’s sniffles and some crowdy sound, before Jeno finally speaks up again, “Hey, I got this news from a little birdie, telling me that someone is looking so upset today. I wonder what happened to him, Nana. Did you perhaps know about it?” Jeno asked him with a soft tone and he could hear Jaemin started to groaning which later turns out to be sobs, “ _ **Well, I-I hate Jaehyun! He couldn’t understand me at all, Jeno!**_ ” the younger said and Jeno can imagine that Jaemin was pouting right now. He must be looking so cute and it would be great if he can see it now by his own eyes.

Jeno shifted on his position so now that he leaned his back to the window, looking up at the ceiling of the room, staring on it blankly with mind was full with Jaemin, “What is this about again, Nana?” he asked.

“ _ **Jaehyun ditched me for his friends again!**_ ” he whined and Jeno swear himself for can’t stop smiling from hearing Jaemin’s blabbers.

“Nana…” Jeno called out to his name, trying to make him stop from blabbering, but failed. Jaemin was keep talking, “ _ **I mean, they meet at the campus all the time, right? While here I am, as his boyfriend, was barely to even see him at campus, and now he decide to ditch me again? It’s the fourth time already!**_ ” the younger boy huffing.

Jeno starts nibbling his bottom lip, feeling unsure for telling Jaemin about his thought, but he really need to say it for the sake of Jaemin’s relationship, “Nana, you also did the same things tp him, remember?” Jeno said and Jaemin remain silent, still focusing on stopping his cry.

Jaemin lets out a sigh, starts to realizing his own fault, “ _ **Yeah, but you guys are different—you’re different, Jeno...**_ ” Jaemin’s voice is softened by now and Jeno lets out a dry laugh when he heard of what Jaemin had said before, “No wonder why’d Jaehyun hate me now, Nana,” he said, “You better apologize to him, Nana. Just try to understand him, yeah?” he starts to getting up when he saw Renjun standing near the dining table, looking at him with his thin smile as he showed him a paper and pencil on both of his hands.

_“ **Sometimes, I really hope that Jaehyun was like you, Jeno..** ”_

And Jeno’s heart skipped a beat when he heard it. He froze on his spot as his eyes were fixed on the floor. “Nana…” he mumbled out his name but Jaemin immediately talking again, “ _ **Okay now, I’ll try to talk with Jae. Thank you, Jeno,**_ ” he giggled, “ _ **I’m going now! Have fun skipping classes with Injunnie!**_ ’

 

*****

 

Jeno and Renjun were sitting on the dining table, discussing about their plans for this fake boyfriend thingy. “So,” Renjun cleared up his throat, starts scribbling on the paper with his pencil, “Any rules that you want to add for this plan, Jeno?” he asked as he looked up at the boy who sat next to him.

Jeno remain silent for a second, “You sure that you’re okay with the skinship though, Junnie? Isn’t it awkward for you?” he asked carefully, doesn’t want to make his own words sound rude to Renjun. “Well, we used to it though? I mean, it’s not like we haven’t cuddled before. We’ve even kissed before.” Renjun shrugged his shoulders and starts drawing some Moomin character again on the paper.

Jeno’s cheeks turned red again, “Well, I was drunk at that time!”

“Yeah, but still, though.”

Jeno shook his head when he starts remembering that prom night when everything happens. The dare, the kiss with Renjun, and the moment when he realizes that _he would never had a chance with Jaemin_.

“So it settled then! Skinship such as hugs and kisses are allowed, but only in front of those idiots and our friends. We also have to text just like how boyfriends would do just in case they wanted to take a look on our texts. We have to introduce each other as boyfriends from now on. And no one can know about this whole plan, not even our group!” Renjun read the rules that they’ve made for their plans, and Jeno agreed to all of it.

“I hope you can cooperate with me on this one.” Jeno smirks as he took Renjun’s hand in his, and Renjun was rolling his eyes on him, “I hope _you_ can cooperate with me, Jeno.”

“I will,” Jeno smiled goofily as he pecked Renjun’s hand and got a smack on his head as return.

 

*****

 

As they decided to skip their classes for the whole day, they decided to go outside—going on a date if you want to call it that way. They’re trying to have a good time that day. The movie was great, the lunch was great, all the games were also fun. Everything was great at first, until they’re going to have their dinner.

Both Renjun and Jeno were sitting in this family restaurant, waiting for the food to come. They were having a talk, talking about their day, until the front door was opened, Jeno saw someone that always succeed on making his heart skipping a beat—even from nervousness or even the heartbreaking kind. It’s Jaemin, with Jaehyun walking right behind him.

 _“They’ve made up, huh?”_ Jeno thought to himself as he averted his gaze back to his table again, and Renjun who sat across from Jeno realize the changes of his facial expression, and so he turned around to see what makes Jeno’s face looking like that.

“Oh? Jaemin?” Renjun smiled at the the called boy when their eyes finally met each other, and Jaemin’s smile slowly faded away as he realized that Renjun wasn’t alone because he saw Jeno too there, but he immediately waving his hand at both of them just in case to push away the awkwardness inside him, “Um, hi,” Jaemin greeted them, and Jeno can see Jaemin’s hold on the hem of Jaehyun’s shirt was tightening.

Jaehyun who catches the signal from Jaemin and that’s when he starts to talk, trying to change the awkward atmosphere around them, “Oh, it feels strange to see you guys here, accidentally like this. Are you guys on a date too? Like, a _dating_ date?” Jaehyun said to Jeno with that kind of smile—that smile that could make Jeno felt intimidated just by seeing it, so that he turned to Renjun and Renjun was just raising his brows at him, smiling. “Uh, yeah, we’re on a date, just like you two.” Jeno said when he finally fixing his eyes on Jaehyun again, with his forced smile.

Jaehyun then made an ‘o’ form on his lips, slipping his left hand into his pocket, “Well, enjoy then! We’ll sit at the back. I don’t want to disturb your date right now. Congratulation, by the way!” he giggled, and moving his eyes to Renjun, “You’re lucky to have such a nice man for you, Renjun,” he said to the smaller boy before pulling Jaemin with him, without even letting the younger boy to say his bid to Jeno and Renjun—holding tight to Jaemin’s hand.

There’s a moment of silence for a couple minutes before Renjun starts speaking up, eyes were glued to Jeno, “Did you see how Jaemin react when you said that we’re on a date?” he said as softly as he could, and Jeno just nodded his head, still feeling so confused about it.

“What does it mean, Jun?”

Renjun remain silent for a while, then shook his head, “We still can’t assume anything for now, Jeno. But one thing for sure, Jaemin looks so surprised.” Renjun said as he took the chopstick from the table when he saw the waitress walking towards their table and putting down their food carefully right in front of them.

“Are you sure about it, Jun?” Jeno asked for the last time and Renjun nodded his head before finally feeding himself with the warm food.

“Oh, and do you realize that they’re good already?” Renjun brings it up again and Jeno’s breathe was caught stuck on his throat, before nodding his head lowly, “Yes, I know.”

 

*****

 

The next day, Jeno and Renjun decided to show up at campus later than they usually do. They sat on their usual spot in the canteen, waiting for Mark and Donghyuck—but with no Jaemin, since he said that he promised to have his lunch with Jaehyun that afternoon.

They sat facing the entrance of the canteen so that they could see the two’s arrival and playing with their plan. Renjun was the one who notice their arrival and immediately leaning his chin on Jeno’s shoulder, “They’re here.” He whisper it close to Jeno’s ear and when Jeno looked up, he instantly locking his gazes with Mark, so that he just nodded his head, with a smile he called out to them, “Guys!” he gestured the other two to sit with them and they obeyed—or it was what their intention from the first second they get out from their class, having a serious talk with the newly couple.

Mark wasn’t even that near from their seat but he just couldn’t hold any longer. “Congratulations, both of you!” he blurts out, a little bit too sarcastic for both Jeno and Renjun’s ears. Jeno’s head followed the couple until they finally sit right in front of them, “What’s this about?” he asked, trying to look confused and Renjun scooted even closer to him—particularly sticking to Jeno’s side.

“You guys are dating, right?” Mark asked again and Jeno just knitted his brows, “How did you know?” he asked again and this time, Donghyuck answered him, “From Johnny,” he said as he gave Jeno his unamused look, and Jeno raised his brows because he was trying to look confused right in front of them. “Remember that day you meet Jaehyun and Jaemin on your date? Jaehyun told Johnny, no, basically the whole gang about both of you, and Johnny told me and Hyuck about it, this morning. How unexpected, right?” Mark added with his humorless tone.

And before Jeno could say anything, he could hear that Renjun’s name was being called by his senior from his China Line group, Kun. Jeno was giving his fake boyfriend an “okay, you can go now” look and Renjun was only smiling at him, giving him a peck on his cheek, then looking at both Mark and Donghyuck with his genuine smile, “I’ll get going now. See you guys later!” he said as he waved his hands to them before finally leaving the three boys.

When he saw that Renjun was already disappearing from their sight or maybe even the canteen, Donghyuck take a deep breath as he keep his eyes on Jeno, “What the fuck Lee Jeno?!” he shouts at him and it shocked everyone around them, especially the shouted boy. Jeno’s eyes were growing big two times than it actual size like it could pop out from its place in any second, “What the fuck are you getting so mad at, Hyuck?” Jeno frowned at him.

Mark lets out a sigh, knowing that he could do nothing when both Jeno and Donghyuck start fighting like this. He knows that his boyfriend is really disappointed right now so that all the things he could do was caressing Donghyuck’s back, trying to calmed him down.

“You moved on, just like that?” Donghyuck said, still looking so mad at Jeno, “You better have your explanation, young man.” Mark added, still caressing Donghyuck’s back.

Jeno shook his head in disbelief, “Well, you expect me to wait for Jaemin until my last breath? I’m sorry, but I can’t do that, Hyuck. Besides, it was your idea from the start, telling me and Renjun should try to date each other, don’t you remember, Hyuck?” Jeno said as low as he can so that nobody else could listen, except the two boys in front of him.

“Oh, so you put the blame on me now, Jeno?” Donghyuck scoffed at him as he crossed his arms over his chest.

Jeno nods his head almost immediately, eyes were filled with anger, “Well, yeah, of course. What did you expect from me, though? I’m desperate. I can’t just sit around the same place waiting for the uncertain things while he’s having fun with his boyfriend and I’m the suffering one? Oh, fuck you, Hyuck.” he answered as he gets up from their table, started to packing up his stuff.

Hearing of what Jeno had said before to his boyfriend was really upsetting him, so that he slammed a hand on the table, “Jeno, you better apologize. Now.” Mark said with a firm tone, which actually succeeds on making Jeno flinched on his spot, but he tried to look tough right in front of them. He leaned forward as he placed both of his palm on the table, “Sometimes, I wonder are you guys really my best friend or just some strangers trying to be nice to me.” he said, slightly biting his bottom lip holding in his anger before he stood up straight again and walked away from the scene, without looking back at the surprised Mark and Donghyuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys!  
> i'm sorry that it took almost 2 weeks for me to update this chapter! :(  
> i was busy with my college stuffs and all skdhsajk its killing me  
> well, i hope you're gonna like this chapter, tho! mhehe  
> don't forget to leave some kudos and comments too! <3  
> xoxo
> 
> #ps: so sorry for any typos and any incorrect grammars or anything


	7. Chapter 7

After their little fight, the distance between Donghyuck and Jeno keeps on growing and it seems like neither the two of them who are mature enough and emotionally stable to talk the whole things out and do the closure or anything about it. Even Mark as Donghyuck’s boyfriend still can’t do anything to make him to change his mind and make up with Jeno.

 

“You’re being too hard on him, baby.” Mark said, combing his boyfriend’s soft hair with his fingers, having his lips pressing into Donghyuck’s forehead, with Donghyuck currently leaning his cheek atop Mark’s chest. The younger didn’t say a word at first, he keep on fidgeting his fingers on the shirt that covering the older’s chest, before finally sighing. “He’s being so stupid on himself, Mark. I hate it.” he whined, lifting up his head so that he could show his cute pout to his boyfriend.

 

Mark already has his eyes fixed on the younger, caressing his cheek softly, “Baby, I know you care so much about him just as I do, but this isn’t right. We were supposed to get his back, not turning our backs on him like this.” Mark said as he leaned into him and planting kisses on Donghyuck’s face, giving him all the affection that the younger needs for calming him down from his anger. Donghyuck letting out another sigh and it gives Mark another reason to be worried, “Yeah, but he doesn’t have to blame it on me like that, though?” the younger mumbled and now Mark was smiling at him. “Just, let him be, okay? I just want you to be good with Jeno again. I want all of us to be good again, Donghyuck. I want my sunshine back, not a gloomy cloud like this.” he teased the younger boy as he give him a small pinch on his cheek when he sees Donghyuck is getting all shy because of all those pet name he gave.

 

And then on the next second, he brings the younger boy to sit up on his lap—which made him yelp in surprise, but he just naturally interlacing his fingers over Mark’s nape as he giggled, “Hey, do you remember what month is it now, Mark?” the younger said, tilting his head to the side, giving Mark his innocent-cute smile, blinking his eyes in a cute way, while Mark himself was trying to look like a lost puppy. “What is it, Hyuck? Your puppy’s birthday?” he smiled—teasingly, pulling the asked boy even closer to him.

 

Donghyuck widened his eyes, wasn’t that pleased with Mark’s stupid answer, “Baby boy, I love you so much, but you’re just so dumb to the point I hate it.” He said, loosening his hold on Mark’s nape and letting his arms hanging limply over the older’s shoulder.

 

Feeling the warmth on the back of his neck slowly fading away, Mark panicked, “Okay okay, it’s our anniversary, I know, I remember! Please don’t be mad at me too, Hyuck!” he starts whining and tightening his hold on the side of Donghyuck’s waist just in case that he would run away from him. But instead, the younger boy responded with his breathy laugh, kissing his cheek lightly, “So you do remember that I’m going to throw a party for it this Friday night, right? I’ll let you to invite him so that he can come to our party. And Mark, I promise you, that your sunshine are going shone the brightest at that party! Just you wait, okay?” Donghyuck gives Mark a smirk before he leaned into him as he ran his hands through Mark’s hair and giving him a long-chaste kiss on his lips.

 

“Oh, my sunshine is finally back,” Mark couldn’t help but chuckling between their sweet-intimate kisses.

 

*****

 

Jeno and Jaemin are sitting in the living room right now—with their lazily linked arms and tangled legs on the table across their couch, all thanks to Jaemin for saying _‘I need my best friend to cuddle me up but I lowkey wanted to watch the tv too so let’s cuddle in your living room’_ last night to Jeno when they were talking on the phone before they sleep—just like the old days, but now the tv is on without even gets any of their attention. Jeno’s mind is wandering to another world while Jaemin got all his attention to the boy next to him, feeling a little bit worried when he saw Jeno’s frown getting deeper by any second.

 

“Jeno?” he tried to get the other’s attention and Jeno averted his eyes to Jaemin in a second, with a little smile plastering on his lips, “What is it, Jaem?”

 

Jaemin was fighting within his inner side if he should really ask Jeno about it or not at all, but his curiosity just keeps killing him, so, fuck it. “You’re looking like you want to kill someone just now, Jeno. Can you tell me what’s bothering you? Is it still about your fight with Hyuckie? Will you tell me?” he basically throws all the questions in one snap

 

Jeno was surprised that Jaemin can guessed it right—well, it’s Jaemin after all. He can read Jeno like an open book, just so easy for him to know what actually bothers the older boy. He doesn’t let those thoughts flying around his mind so that he lets out his soft laughter as his distraction, “Slow down, will you?” Jeno said, leaning his head on the younger’s shoulder, reaching out for the tv’s remote control that laid on Jaemin’s other side and quickly turning off the tv, making the room suddenly filled with silence, but it’s still the kind of silence that are comfortable enough for both of them.

 

Jaemin nuzzled his cheek to Jeno’s head, “I was worried about you two, okay? I saw how the two of you giving those death glares whenever you saw each other, those curses—Jeno, please be good with Hyuckie again!” he starts whining and Jeno just couldn’t say anything but tightening his grip on Jaemin’s white t-shirt.

 

He felt so ashamed of himself for letting his emotion to take another control on him. He wasn’t supposed to be that harsh to his best friend like, _damn_ , he snapped so hard at Hyuck and Mark that day. Even saying that they’re like a stranger—that’s just not good.

 

But still, he needs a little bit more time to finally collecting himself and be a mature self Jeno, apologizing to both Hyuck and Mark, and that’s what he told Jaemin next. “Jaemin, I still need more time to forgive Hyuck, or even to forgive myself for being such a jerk—I know I shouldn’t have said that to him and Mark, it’s not their fault, it’s my decision to date Junnie, after all.” he said, lifted his head up from Jaemin’s shoulder so that he could have a better angle to looking at Jaemin’s reaction—which he later regretting for doing so.

 

And at the same time, Jaemin also turning his head towards him, so that their noses were slightly bumped to each other, taking his breathe away from his lung for a couple seconds.

 

Both of them quickly turning away from each other, Jeno was the one who take a step away from Jaemin and an audible sigh came out from Jaemin’s mouth—looks like its not only Jeno who’s forgetting  how to breathe for a moment there.

 

“I’m-I’m sorry I didn’t know—“

 

“No, Jeno. It’s okay.” the younger cleared up his throat before shifting on his seat, moved closer to Jeno again, “So,” he smiled, trying to act like the incident before didn’t really affecting him, “At least, will you try to forgive Hyuckie, Nono?” he said as he keeps on poking Jeno’s well-formed forearm.

 

Jeno lets out a sigh, knowing that Jaemin will only using that nickname when he really want to get what he wants from him, and Jeno couldn’t say no to it either. Jaemin really knows how to hit his soft spot for the younger boy. “Okay, okay. I’ll try, Nana.”

 

Jaemin took the ice smoothie that he made with Jeno right after he arrived in Jeno’s house, which were placed on the tea table next to the couch and take a sip of it, “Can I ask you one more thing, though?” Jaemin licked his upper lip just to taste some leftover smoothie on it, fingers were slowly getting cold from the coolness of the smoothie.

 

Jeno just nodded as he leaned on his left side to the couch’s head comfortably, locking his gaze with Jaemin’s soft one.

 

“Who’s this crush of yours that I’ve never knew before?”

 

_Oh shit._

 

Jeno slowly looking away from the younger boy, rubbing the back of his neck unconsciously, “It’s no one, really, Nana.” he said, trying for not stuttering on his words, but somehow Jaemin could tell that he was lying. “No way! Hyuck told me that this person is someone that we know! Who is it, Jeno?” Jaemin frowned, knowing that he doesn’t getting the answer right away from the black-haired boy.

 

Jeno could feel that his heart is about to explode because he’s just really nervous right now, thanks to Jaemin’s undying curiosity. “Nana, just please, stop asking me about it, okay? I just—”

 

“Tell me!” Jaemin pouted and Jeno know that he can’t get away from this, so that he starts to create another lie. “It’s...Hyerin.” he blurted out one name of their classmates in high school randomly.

 

But to think of it again, Jeno suddenly feel relieved when he choose Hyerin, because, Jaemin himself was not that close with Hyerin while Jeno was pretty close with her, since that day they got into a same group project for their English class, and since Hyerin already moved back to London with her family, so that there’s no way Jaemin can ask for any further information.

 

Jeno take a closer look at Jaemin and he can see that Jaemin was surprised by his fake confession.

 

“What’s wrong, Nana?” he asked, stretching out his hand just to hold Jaemin’s, “Why are you looking so surprised?” he followed Jaemin’s eyes, trying to make the other to look at him.

 

Jaemin shook his head when he heard Jeno’s words, with his sheepish smile he’s finally looking at Jeno, “I…always thought that you’re not... _straight_ , you know. Oh my God, I’m so stupid, I’m sorry Jeno!” he said as he hugged the cushion that were previously being forgotten the whole time, hiding himself from his embarrassment.

 

Jeno was about to lands his palm on Jaemin’s crown and give him a fond pat, but a sudden knock on the front door surprised both them.

 

Jeno smiled fondly at Jaemin, giving him the pat from the previous, “I’ll get it.” Jeno said—almost like a whisper, walking up to the front door lazily, with Jaemin’s eyes following his movement at first and soon, he was following Jeno without getting noticed by the older boy.

 

When the door was swinging opened, they can finally see who was their uninvited guest which is turn out to be someone that’s so familiar to them. “Junnie?” Jaemin smiled forcefully at him, not also sure with himself for why did he do that— _he doesn’t feel so happy at the sudden interrupt from Renjun_.

 

The asked boy raised his brows at Jaemin, “Oh, Jaemin? I didn’t expect you’ll be here today.” he said, feeling so confused to see Jaemin’s presence in that house, at that kind of time. “Do you guys..perhaps having something to talk?” he asked as he got into the house with Jeno holding his hand, eyes were immediately catch the sight of the smoothies and some packs of chips on the couch.

 

Jeno’s hand is still in Renjun’s when he sees that Jaemin’s eyes were focusing on their hands right before he looked up at Renjun still with his thin smile for a couple seconds before walking away from the two, “I was about to ask Jeno if he want to have lunch with me and my Mom, since Aunty is out since early in the morning, but now that you’re here, I think it won’t be necessary anymore, so I’ll be going now.” Jaemin lied as he starts packing up his stuffs on the couch where they were sitting before.

 

“It’s okay if you want to stay here, Nana.” The smaller boy said, feeling so guilty for interrupting their alone time, and Jaemin immediately refusing the offer, “No, no, it’s okay! I don’t want to interrupt your time here, so… yeah, I’ll be going now! See you guys at campus, I guess?” he smiled at the two boys who are now looking at him with their guilty look, and without even letting the two of them saying anything to him again, he left the house.

 

 

*****

 

It’s Thursday, 01.45 PM.

 

Jeno and Mark were sitting on the top row of the bleachers, side to side, waiting for their ‘boyfriends’ finishing their little debate about the party’s dress code. “So,” Mark moved his eyes from their boyfriends to Jeno for a split a second as he showed a genuine smile to him, “Hyuck really wants you to come to our party this Friday night, Jeno.” he said before finally going back to the book on his hand.

 

As to what Mark had said, he raised an eyebrow, “Really? But I still feel so bad, though,” he answered as his eyes are now fixed on a boy walking into their direction and he recognize that it was Jaehyun. Jeno quickly nudging Mark on his side, “Jaehyun’s here.” he said and Mark looked up almost immediately from his book and fixing his specs position on the bridge of his nose so that he can take a good look at him and waving his hand at the boy when he finally can catch the figure well into his vision, “Jaehyun!” he greeted him casually and Jeno let his shoulder fall because he felt a little bit betrayed by Mark’s friendly gesture towards the older boy. Donghyuck and Renjun are also stopping their debate immediately, looking up at Jeno, spontaneously.

 

Jaehyun greeted the four of them with a smile before finally speaking up when he was stands on the lower row from Jeno and Mark’s, “Have you seen Jaemin?” he asked straightforwardly to the two, which is now Mark give him a confused look, but not Jeno, he suddenly felt upset knowing that Jaehyun lets Jaemin to walking around the campus, alone. “I thought he was with you?” Jeno asked him back, his tone making it was so obvious that he was upset.

 

Jaehyun’s look on Jeno is now showing his confusion, like he was so loss on words about Jeno’s sudden accusation, but Jeno seems like so fed up with everything, and that’s when he stands up from his seat, hiding his fists into his pants pockets, “You were supposed to be with him, Jaehyun.” He said with a low voice, trying to sound fierce on the older boy, but Mark quickly tugging his arm and making him to sit back on his seat.

 

Jaehyun throws a frown at Jeno, “Look, whatever your problem is, I’m sorry, but I think I’ve never ever did something to upset you like this, Lee Jeno.” he said as he tried to stay as calm as possible, then looking back at Mark again, “I told Jaemin that I couldn’t come to your party with him tomorrow, and he just got so upset and left me at the front gate this morning, so that I thought that he was with you guys, but it seems like I was wrong and I don’t know where he is now.”

 

Jeno lets out a sigh, realizing that his previous move is just so irrational—a dumb act, “Have you tried to call him?” he asked, a little bit calmer this time. Jaehyun was only looking at him at first then nodded his head slowly, “I did, but he didn’t answer any of it. I’ve tried so many times already!” he said, showing the younger boys his call list.

 

 _28 outgoing calls to Jaemin’s number and he didn’t pick up every one of it, none of it,_ Jeno thought to himself as he took his phone out from his pocket  now, also trying his luck to call the younger boy. Not even before the first beep sound gone, Jaemin answered his call, “Na Jaemin, where are you?” Jeno sounds firm as he gave Jaehyun a nod, telling him that he got this handled and Jaehyun was only nodding his head, waiting patiently.

 

“ ** _I’m-I’m hiding right now. I don’t want to see Jae, I’m so upset I might cry the second I saw him Jeno!_** ” the brown-haired boy sniffled, and Jeno immediately take a look at the confused Jaehyun.

 

“Jaemin, that’s not the right thing to do when you’re upset with someone, okay? You better talked it out with Jaehyun hyung.” Jeno said as calm as he could.

 

“But—”

 

“Talk to him, okay? He’s here with me now—he’s been looking for you, Nana. Here, I’ll put him on the line,” Jeno said as he handed his phone to the older boy in front of him and Jaehyun immediately took the phone, placing it close to his ear, “Baby? Hey, I’m really, really sorry that I made you upset again, but let’s talk about it, okay? Tell me where you are now, okay?” Jaehyun asked, rubbing the back of his neck anxiously.

 

Mark was giving Jeno the look—that kind of pity look, but Jeno didn’t really think about it and let out a sigh, again.

 

“Jeno,” Jaehyun called his name as he handed the phone back to him, “Thanks,” he smiled at the younger boy and Jeno just nodded his head. “Hey, I’m sorry for being rude to you before, Jaehyun.” Jeno mumbled and Jaehyun just ruffling his hair with fondness, “It’s okay! You’re helping me so much, though! Thanks again! I’ll be going now guys!” he said, looking at Mark for the last time as he pointed at the smiling Donghyuck, “And congratulation for your 3rd anniversary, guys!” he congratulated both Mark and Donghyuck before finally leaving the four boys, back to his mission—finding the Na Jaemin.

 

*****

 

Jaehyun opened his apartment’s door with one hand, while his other hand was holding tight to Jaemin’s. Once the door was opened wide enough for both of them, he gestured his hand to the younger boy to enter the place before him, with a sweet smile, “After you, baby,” he said.

 

Jaemin was only looking at him with his little pout, but he played along with Jaehyun and get into the apartment, literally running towards the couch and burying his face into the pile of cushions. Even when he heard that Jaehyun was calling out to his name, he tried to bury his face even deeper to the cushion like it was even possible.

 

He can feel that Jaehyun is now also sitting on the couch when he felt a warm hand was slipping into his hoodie, giving him the gentle caress on his bare back. “Babe, you know we need to talk it out, right?” Jaehyun sounded desperate and Jaemin immediately turned around and sitting up on the couch, still giving him his pout.

 

“I’m upset, Jae.”

 

Jaehyun nodded, “I know. And you don’t even let me to explain everything. That’s not good, right, Jaeminnie?” he smiled, fixing Jaemin’s hair that was sticking out here and there.

 

“Don’t ‘Jaeminnie’ me, okay? I’m upset that you can’t go with me to that party, I know it sounds stupid but I just wanted to have my alone time with you, Jae. You’ve been really busy lately with your auditions and your final project. We barely have our daily dates—I don’t even get my cuddles before sleep!” Jaemin whined, throwing his fist weakly straight to Jaehyun’s chest, as his eyes started to tearing up when he looked up to Jaehyun again, “I love you, so much, hyung.” He mumbled and that’s when Jaehyun were losing to the demon inside his head.

 

Jaehyun pushed the younger boy back into the couch so that he was hovering on top of him right now—trapping Jaemin between his legs, “I’ll make it up to you, baby.” he smiled as he rubs the younger’s blushing cheek, slowly leaning into him when he felt Jaemin’s arms were draped around his shoulders, his breath comes warm over his chin, “Kiss me like it’s our first kiss, Jae.” Jaemin whispered right in front of his lips—making their lips slightly brushing with each other, and soon enough, as they got their eyes closed, their lips finally melted into each other.

 

The kisses were going slow—Jaehyun wanted it to be in steps, not in rush. He wanted it to be as soft as possible, he wanted them to take their time as much time as they need it, and so they could feel the love around them. It was just lips pressing to another’s type of kiss at first, and when he feels that Jaemin couldn’t wait any longer, he starts to move his own lips over Jaemin’s—kissing him in an open mouthed kiss, which actually surprised the younger boy as he slips out small noises from his lips.

 

Jaehyun slowly pulled away from their short kisses, “I’ll let you to lead us tonight,” he smiled as he sat up-straight on the couch again, giving Jaemin the knowing look which succeed to send Jaemin into a blushing mess, but he decided to not letting his shyness to hold him up tonight, and quickly move to sat on Jaehyun’s lap.

 

Jaehyun started to rubs his hands gently on Jaemin’s thigh, giving him the look that Jaemin really miss the past few days, “You always know what’s in my mind, don’t you?” Jaemin said with a graceful smile spreading over his lips, eyes were focusing on the older’s neck as he ran his fingers through it before Jaehyun wraps his fingers on Jaemin's wrist, giving it soft kisses and bites and it keeps going lower, as he fixed his eyes with Jaemin—and that’s what making him feel so weak and breathless. They were looking at each other’s eyes for a solid moment, like, they were actually communicated with it.

 

Jaehyun leads the younger’s hand back to his shoulder, “Come here,” he said with a low voice and damn, Jaemin just can’t resist the urge to attack him with kisses and that’s exactly what he do next. He leans into him, crashing their lips together. The kisses weren’t that soft this time, more like a sloppy, hurried type. Their hunger for each other is real here.

 

The brown-haired boy lets out a soft gasp when he felt Jaehyun’s fingers were being shoved into his hoodie again and it touched his bare chest, giving him the chill he’s been longing for on his spine. Jaemin lets his hand slipping off from Jaehyun’s neck, down to his chest before going up to his hair, giving a light tug on it which was successfully making the older boy groaning in pleasure and deepening their kiss as the results.

 

They suddenly grew impatient, keeps on trying to dominate the kiss.

 

Jaehyun was the first one who moved his lips down to Jaemin jaw before finally attacking his neck, nibbling on the bare flesh softly at first, but then, he started to bites every line on Jaemin’s neck harder, marking him up. He didn’t care if Jaemin starts complaining to him the next day about how slutty he looks with neck being covered with hickeys.

 

He just wanted to let the world knows that Jaemin is his— _he wanted to let Jeno knows that Jaemin will always be his_.

 

“Jae, babe, fu—oh God, slow down.” Jaemin breathed as he felt Jaehyun’s hold on his waist tightening, the bites felt more painful that he’s going to scream when felt that Jaehyun’s teeth were scratching his neck’s skin, but soon enough, he lets out a soft moans when the pain was being replaced with pleasure again as he felt Jaehyun’s breathe on his hickeys-covered neck, soft kisses on his collarbones, light touches on his bare skin of waist.

 

“You’re mine—always mine, no one else can have you, Nana.” Jaehyun said between the neck kisses, hand starting to roll Jaemin’s hoodie up, slowly revealing the younger’s skin to the surface. Jaemin knows when Jaehyun felt insecure, he knows when Jaehyun felt jealous, there’s only one person who were able to make Jaehyun feels jealous and _he knows who it was_.

 

He cupped the older’s face in his hands, looking at him with his fondly smile, “Let’s go to our room and I’m all yours tonight, Jae.” he said as he pecked the tip of Jaehyun’s nose.

 

“Mine, tonight?”

 

“ _Always yours_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i finally got the time to update! <3  
> i hope you guys enjoy this, tho! :3 kkk  
> and i apologize for the lame-short making out part shdhjsk
> 
> don't forget to leave some kudos and comments,  
> or just anything, guys!  
> xoxo
> 
> #ps: just ignore if you found any typos guys cz i'm writing this  
> with eyes half-opened (i'm so sleepy! :"( )  
> #pss: sorry for the bad grammars!


	8. Chapter 8

**Jeno  
** are you coming? [08.43 PM]

 **Nana**  
[08.46 PM] yes! can you pick me up?

 **Jeno  
** i never say no to you, right? [08.47 PM]

 **Nana  
** [08.47 PM] you’re the best! <3

 

*****

 

There he is now, standing right in front of Jaemin’s house, having his back leaning to the side of his car (his mother’s car), with eyes and hands were focusing on the game on his phone.  It’s been like 15 minutes after his arrival at Jaemin’s place, but it seems like Jaemin still not done with whatever he’s doing right now. Well, it’s not like Jeno wants to complain about it though, but just what is he doing right now that it took so long for him to get ready?

Jeno was about to pressing down Jaemin’s number, when he heard the creaky sound from Jaemin’s gate, he looked up and finding Jaemin standing there with his new look and that smile—beautiful as always.

He’s stepping out from the gate and closing it behind his back, “How long have you been here, Jeno?”

Jeno shook his head while he’s still processing Jaemin’s new look into his head, “N-no, I’ve just arrived,” he smiled as he took a step closer to Jaemin, still feeling so amazed with the other’s new look. “Your hair…” he mumbled softly and to his surprise, Jaemin is actually can catch it.

Jaemin tilted his head to the side, “Does it look good on me?” there’s this hopeful feeling in Jaemin’s tone when he asked Jeno about his new hair color.

“It’s pink.” Jeno smiled, and Jaemin was giving him a single cute nod and giggles as returns. “It really suits you, Nana.” the black-haired boy touched the strand of Jaemin’s hair, before giving a light caress on his cheek, “You looked amazing. Always.” He finally took a step back while his eyes were still fixed with Jaemin’s sparkling eyes.

But when he move his eyes down to the younger’s neck, he can feel that his heart stops beating, like someone was actually smashing his heart and making it to stop beating. Jaemin might don’t realize that the foundation on his neck didn’t really cover up those hickeys.

“Hey, Jaem?”

Jaemin raised his brows at Jeno, still with his smile, “What is it, Jen?”

Jeno pointing at his neck and Jaemin immediately wrapping his palms around his own neck as he let out an awkward laughter, “Uh… Is it still showing? This is all Jaehyun’s fault! He really can’t hold himself even though I told him to slow down and everything!” he blabbered innocently, without realizing how broken Jeno is right now.

“Nana, you applied the foundation too thin, of course it’s still showing.” Jeno said as he turned his back to the younger boy, opening the driver’s door before looking back at Jaemin, “Come on, let’s go now.  We don’t have much time, Jaemin. Mark’s been terroring me with me with his texts, asking about where were we and all.” Jeno said as he tried to keep his voice steady and getting in into the car without saying anything else.

Jaemin—still not aware of the sudden change from Jeno’s act—just nodded his head, feeling so eager when he starts thinking about the party again, “Okay!”

 

*****

 

Once they’ve finally arrived at Donghyuck’s big house, Jeno parked his car on Donghyuck’s large driveway, which also being occupied with other kid’s cars. “Just how many friend that they invited to this party, jeez.” Jaemin grunt as he got off from the car, keeps on ruffling his newly dyed hair, looking at the amount of those cars and some motorcycles that parked on the same place as them.

The black haired boy smiled on his own reflection on his rear-view mirror, fixing his hair, “Well, Mark said its only closest friends, maybe some guys from those musical class or maybe even our high school friends, Nana.” he said as he’s looking at the younger boy’s back before finally following him to the front door.

Before they even reached the terrace of the house, Donghyuck was already running towards both of them and throwing himself at Jaemin, wrapping his arms tightly on his body, “You finally come!” he said so happily, swinging their bodies side to side and when his eyes finally catch Jeno looking at both of them, he raised his brows at him, “together?” he smirked at him. Jeno rolled his eyes on him, “We lived next to each other, what do you expecting, though?” Jeno said, not so amused by Donghyuck’s tease, and Donghyuck’s expression was softened when he saw his reaction.

Donghyuck slowly pulled away from the hug and Jaemin give him a knowing smile before looking at Jeno, “I’ll leave you two now,” he whispered to the tan-skinned boy before walking into the house and greeted everyone that he knows.

And there they are, standing in front of each other awkwardly with the loud music blasting out from the house. When their eyes met, Donghyuck couldn’t help but giving the other his awkward smile. “I… haven’t apologized to you properly, Jeno,” he said, uncertainly strecthing out his hand to Jeno’s direction.

Jeno was only giving him a mocking look before finally taking Donghyuck’s hand in his and pulling him into a tight hug, “I’m the one who should apologize to you, Hyuckie. I shouldn’t have be that harsh to you like that, right? I’m so sorry.” he said into Donghyuck’s shoulder, which later he can feel that Donghyuck’s shoulder was shaking because of his laughter.

“It’s okay, big guy. It’s okay!” Donghyuck said and surprisingly giving a peck on Jeno’s cheek and Jeno immediately shove him away, saying that he’s gonna tell Mark about the peck and Donghyuck was sticking out his tongue as return.

After some of their childish argues, they walked into the house with Donghyuck having his arm around Jeno’s shoulder, dragging him to the place where their friends have been waiting for them. “Oh, by the way, Injunnie is already here!” Donghyuck smiled at the boy next to him.

He responded to what Donghyuck were saying with a thin smile, “I know, he texted me before.” He said, hoping that Donghyuck will never ask him about his relationship with Renjun anymore as he was still looking around the place to find Jaemin, hoping the standing out color of his hair can help him out but no, he can‘t find him.

Donghyuck too, was looking for their friends right now and when he catch Mark waving his hand at him, he smiled at him then back at Jeno again, “At first, I thought you guys were faking it, you know,” he blurt it out as he took a can of beer for himself and also for Jeno on the table near them.

And before Jeno could ever say anything, a pair of arms wrapping his waist from his other side and he knows that it was Renjun. “Hi, boyfriend,” the smaller boy whispered right into his ear, and Jeno think that this has something to do with their game, so that’s why Jeno tried to play along with him.

Jeno put the down his beer on the table again, having his hand on Renjun’s cheek, “Junnie, baby, are you drunk?” he asked as he took a quick glance at Donghyuck who was also looking at him with a confused look.

Renjun shook his head cutely, “No~ I just drink a little of it, but I guess it makes me want to cling to you more,” he smiled from ear to ear before nuzzling his face into Jeno’s neck.

Donghyuck, realizing that he’s being an interrupter right now, clearing his throat and gives Jeno a pat on his shoulder, “Guess I’ll give you two some space now.” He smiled at them as he raised his drink to Jeno before leaving the spot almost immediately.

When Jeno think that Donghyuck is really gone from their sight, he rubs the older’s arm, “Hey, Jun, Hyuck’s gone now.”

But Renjun shook his head, circling his arms around Jeno’s neck, “Yeah, Hyuck is gone but Yukhei is still there.” he mumbled on Jeno’s neck and it sends the shiver on his nape. Jeno tried to look around when Renjun was holding his cheek, preventing him from moving around, “Just stay close to me until he’s gone, Jeno.” The smaller boy said, and Jeno nodded to him, “But still, at least you should have told me first, Jun. Your move was quite surprising me you know.” Jeno sneak his hand on Renjun’s waist and pulled the smaller closer to him.

They don’t realized that the tall boy was already standing right behind them so that Yukhei calling out a “Hey,” to them and when they turned around, Renjun was still hiding his face on the crook of Jeno’s neck and Jeno was giving him his best smile, caressing Renjun’s arm purposely, “Oh, hi Yukhei,” Jeno greeted him as he could feel Renjun’s grip on his waist was loosening, before finally fall to his side.

Yukhei’s eyes were fixed on Renjun for a couple seconds before he looks back at Jeno with a thin smile, “Can I talk with Renjun for a moment, Jeno?” he asked and Jeno immediately looking at Renjun with a look that read: _are you okay?_ and Renjun just nodded nervously at him.

Jeno turned to the taller guy, still with his smile, “Okay, then. But please, don’t let my fist landed on your beautiful face later, bro,” he laughed on his own words before giving a light pat on the Yukhei’s arm, immediately leaving the scene.

Yukhei stretch out his hand to Renjun, and Renjun was only giving him a quizzical look, but Yukhei quickly took his hand and taking him away from the crowds, going to the up floor without paying no attention to the sign forbidding them to go upstairs, locking themself inside this one room, which Renjun knows as Donghyuck’s by the look of the Michael Jackson poster on the wall.

Yukhei lead both of them to the bed before he sat on the edge of it and patting the empty spot next to him, looking at Renjun with a fond smile and Renjun just couldn’t really help but fall hard for him all over again. He obeys him and sit close next to the taller boy.

For the solid 5 minutes, neither Yukhei nor Renjun are saying anything. Renjun was busy looking at the floor and Yukhei is still admiring Renjun’s beautiful look for that night. But being the impatient he is, Renjun let out a loud sigh and turn to the tall boy next to him, “What do you want, Yukhei?” he frowned at him and giving him a little pout on his lips.

Yukhei, however, was still holding onto himself to not attacking the cute boy in front of him with hugs and kisses, so that he just smiled to Renjun’s question, “I know about it, Junnie.” he said with a calm voice and it made Renjun’s heart skipped a beat. What did he knows?

Renjun who couldn’t really face him just moved a little bit from Yukhei and fixing his eyes on the floor again, fidgeting on his spot, “W-what do you mean?”

Yukhei lets out a soft laugh as he rubbed both of his palms together, “I know about the fake boyfriend things you do with Jeno.” he smiled to the younger boy who still have his face turned away from him.

_Shit._

Renjun can feel that his stomach was fall to the ground, his legs suddenly felt like jelly.

Yukhei scooted closer to the smaller boy, placing his hand on his knee, “Why would you do something like that, hm? Do you want to hurt me that bad, Junnie?”

 _H_ _e what_ _?_

Renjun’s eyes starts to teary up but Yukhei was keeps on going with his confession, “I’ve always liked you—fall for you, even, Huang Renjun. It’s hurt at first, seeing you with Jeno being so close like that. But, I got this feeling that you and Jeno are not really dating, just no. And now that I saw your reaction, and I’m certain that my intuition was right, then.” He showed him his cute smile and Renjun looking at him with his shocked expression, tears are finally rolling down over his cheeks.

He ran his fingers into his hair before throwing it into the air, “S-so, you actually also not so sure about it? So I was like, admitting my own sin to you right now?” Renjun snapped and Yukhei chuckle to his crush’s cuteness.

Renjun’s eyes growing wide and forming his hands into fists, “I never know you’re so capable on doing that to me, Wong Yukhei!” he huffed and crossing his arms over his chest.

Yukhei was only looking at him, fondly, admiringly, _“_ _B_ _a_ _obei_ _.”_ he called out to the smaller boy and Renjun’s eyes get even wider and his cheeks flushed with a really pinkish color, which is really cute. He groaned knowing that he could never hide his shyness, “Shut up! I hate you! I really hate you!” he grunts again.

The taller boy brought his own hand to Renjun’s face, thumbing his cheekbone, “You… just love me so much that you’re capable on doing the fake boyfriend things with Jeno just to get my attention, don’t you, Junnie?” he smiled so sickeningly sweet at him and Renjun whining at him as he throw his fists straight to Yukhei’s chest, which Yukhei can easily avoid by catching his small fist in his big hand and pulled the smaller boy into his hug.

He hides his face into Renjun’s soft hair, “I’m sorry, Junnie. I should have been more palpable about my feelings towards you.” He breathed into his hair. Renjun didn’t answer, but he buried his face closer to Yukhei’s chest, letting the boy knows that everything is okay for him now.

Yukhei rubs his palm up and down on Renjun’s back, sending the comfortable to filled up their hearts, “And… I think, you better ends this whole fake boyfriend thing with Jeno, Junnie. It’ll only confuse him and I’m afraid—I’m afraid that he’ll fall for you and I couldn’t win over him—Jeno is a perfect guy.” He pouted to the thought Renjun and Jeno being officially together but he immediately shook his head off just to make the bad thought away from his mind.

The younger put both of his hands on Yukhei’s chest as he pulled away from the hug, looking up at him, “Then, if he’s so perfect, even for you to say that, why did Jaemin can’t see him?” he asked and closing his eyes when he felt Yukhei’s lips on his forehead.

Yukhei pulled Renjun into his hug again, having his cheek flat to the smaller’s crown, “Somehow, I believed that Jaemin saw it too, Jun. I’m certain of it. But maybe for now, he’s just denying his own feelings.”

 

*****

 

Jeno’s stumbly legs are bringing him lazily into Donghyuck’s bathroom right now, was about to wash his heated face, hoping it could make the heat gone.

He opened the bathroom’s door wide and immediately walking in without even realizing that there’s another person—two person in there, he just didn’t really care that much about what they’re doing, not until he heard some voice that he recognized as Jaemin’s.

So that when he looked up to the mirror in front of him and with pangs inside his chest, his eyes caught Jaemin’s eyes was also looking at him. His dark orbs that showing the pleasure, lust, hunger, and _love_.

_Shit! Shit! Shit!_

Jaemin’s eyes immediately fully opened when he realized that it was Jeno that he was looking at and shyly pushing the boy who was currently sucking his neck, which turned out as Jaehyun.

_Wait. Jaehyun?_

Jaemin was calling his name with his raspy voice when Jeno decided that he doesn’t want to stay in that place any longer and ran away.

And now he runs back into the human ocean, ignoring the fact that he heard Jaemin is calling him from behind right now between the loud music in the room. He quickened his pace, so that the younger boy couldn’t get to him in anytime soon. Just why did he following him though?

Jeno’s finally stops running away from Jaemin when both of them are finally outside the house, with Jeno trying to catch his own breath, from holding his breath too long, and Jaemin is still standing close to the front door.

Jeno shook his head once he turned around to see Jaemin standing there looking so confused at him, “Why are you following me?” he asked, wiping the cold sweat that running down from his forehead. And the first thing that Jaemin do was shrugging his shoulders, “I don’t know, Jen. But it feels like I really have to go after you.”

Hearing Jaemin’s answer really make him sad, confused, upset, all that three in one time, “You better go back making out with Jaehyun there, Nana. I want to go home, I can’t s—“

“I’m coming with you.” Jaemin took a few steps closer to him, with an innocent smile on his face.

“Nana.” A firm tone of voice was coming from right behind Jaemin and he immediately turning around, with a flushed cheeks, to looking at his boyfriend looking so furious and upset. Jaehyun locking his gaze with Jeno for a split second before holding onto Jaemin’s arm on his protective mode, “Baby, come on get inside.” Jaehyun said, trying to pull Jaemin closer to his side.

Jeno can feel the jealousy starts to taking over his emotion right now so that he also take a step closer to the couple in front of him, “I thought you’re not gonna come to this party, Jaehyun?” Jeno suddenly ask, and the next second, he knows that it was a really wrong question that he could ever ask to Jaehyun right now.

The older boy squint his eyes on Jeno when he heard the question and then letting out a scoff when he realized where were this conversation going to, “Why? It ruined your plan to steal my boyfriend, Jeno?” Jaehyun snapped and it actually shocked the black-haired boy. He never knew that Jaehyun will be so bold of showing his jealousy, moreover, in front of Jaemin. He has never been so open about showing his jealousy before.

While Jaemin on the other side, getting so lost with the whole situation, “Jae, what are you saying?” he reached out his hands to the older boy and cupping his face close to him so that the older boy will only has his eyes focusing on him. And Jaehyun gladly did what Jaemin made him to as he leaned his face closer to his boyfriend, pressing his forehead onto Jaemin’s.

Jeno swiftly tucking his hands into his jeans pocket, trying to hide his nervousness, “Do you even listen to your words now, Jae?” Jeno breathed the words, trying to calm his heart.

Jaehyun pulled away from Jaemin as he moved his eyes back on Jeno, “Well, I said, your plan for stealing my Nana is ruined by my sudden presence, right?” Jaehyun smiled mockingly at Jeno.

Jaemin has his brows raised to his boyfriend’s words, “What do you mean…” he mumbled as he got his eyes trailed back to Jeno, looking at him with his confused look.

Realizing the situation they got into, Jaehyun pulled Jaemin even closer by sneaking his hand on the younger’s waist, pulling him into a side hug, “Oh, Nana, you wanted to know, right?” he smiled at Jaemin before going back to Jeno again.

Jeno can feel that he was about to cry just by the thought of Jaemin knowing his secret, his true feelings towards him. “You better stop, Jaehyun.” Jeno warned him.

Seeing the tension between Jeno and Jaehyun are rising up, Jaemin took a step forward so that he stand up between the two of them, “Just tell me what is going on, okay?” Jaemin asked, looking back at Jaehyun and back to Jeno.

Jaehyun was giving Jeno his thin smile as he crossed his arms over his chest, “Don’t you realize it baby? After all this time you’ve spent with him?” Jaehyun said, pointing his forefinger to Jeno’s direction. And Jaemin just shook his head, not really sure about what his boyfriend are trying to say right now.

Jeno shook his head, feeling the tears already filling his eyelids, “Stop it, Jaehyun.” Jeno said, more like pleading this time.

Jaehyun shook his head, still with that smile, and Jeno knows this will be the end of his friendship with Jaemin, this will be the end of his hiding, when he heard Jaehyun finally saying it, crystal clear into their ears, “Jeno’s been liking you, all this time. He’s in love with you, Nana.” the older said as he looked deeply into Jeno’s soul, like he can actually rip him apart, and it actually did.

His heart has been torn apart from Jaehyun’s victory smile and Jaemin’s surprised look.

 

_Please don’t give me that look…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm finally updating! asjsdk  
> i've been a little bit busy lately so... yeah... hehe  
> i hope you guys enjoyed this one!  
> xoxo
> 
> #ps: sorry for any typos or any wrong grammars


	9. Chapter 9

Jeno’s now standing right in front of his house door, doubting to get inside with this kind of condition—still feeling breathless, red-puffy eyes, damp cheeks, broken hearted—or he can just walking around his neighborhood and spending a little bit of his time at the nearby playground, doing just anything that maybe can help him to cleared up his mind. Well, thankfully that his parents are on their oversea work’s trip so that he doesn’t have to bother himself to find any excuses to tell them.

Things that happened at Donghyuck’s place are still ringing inside his head, so clear about how he sees Jaemin’s reaction and Jaehyun’s cold eyes at him. He tried to put those bad thoughts aside as he unlocked his door, getting inside the house and not minding to even taking off his shoes, he just heading straight to his room at upstairs, ignoring the fact that the whole living room is dark. He had memorized the way his home decorated anyway.

He climbed up on each stairs slowly, trying to not making any creaky sound on his wooden stairs, because he hate how creepy it sounds sometimes. And when he finally reached his floor, he weakly tried to open his room’s door and suddenly stopped when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He was about to throw his fist to whoever it is behind him, but there he is, someone that Jeno really missed these past few years, his favorite cousin, Kim Dongyoung a.k.a Doyoung.

His eyes slowly growing wider, “Hyung…” he mumbled with tears already making his vision blurry again, and Doyoung knowing what he’d do at a time like this, giving Jeno a weak smile before finally wrapping his arms around Jeno’s trembling figure, “It’s okay if you want to cry, kiddo. I’m here now.” he said softly and seconds after it, Jeno breaks down into loud sobs and cry his heart out inside Doyoung’s arms.

 

*****

 

Both of them are now sitting with legs sprawled on the bed, backs leaning to the bed’s headboard while they were having their ‘serious talk’, just like what Doyoung has always said when one of them was having problems and the other one will always be there to listen.

“But, hyung, what are you doing here, though? I thought your contract in Japan still have a few months left before the expired date? Are you getting fired?” Jeno said as he rubs his puffy eyes with his fingers pad. Doyoung shook his head, “Shut up, I’m not getting fired, okay?Didn’t your mom tell you that I was transferred back to Seoul? Oh, and I also need to meet someone, actually.” He said, fingers intertwining on his lap.

Jeno blinked his eyes at the older’s words, “Jungwoo hyung?” and Doyoung just nodded his head, with a sad smile. “I need to apologize to him, properly.”

“Oh, what happened?” Jeno shifted on his spot, trying to get the comfortable position on his bed and Doyoung just shrugged his shoulder before letting out his frustrated sigh, “Jungwoo and I accidentally met at this mall when I was still in Japan, while I was with my coworker Taeyong, and Jungwoo kinda sees us being close, where it was basically just us walking side by side, and Jungwoo stormed out at me—on that fucking street, and people were looking at us fighting, and I also feel bad to Taeyong because of it, you know. I dragged him into something he shouldn’t be involved.”

Jeno moved his hand on Doyoung’s shoulder before giving it a light squeeze, “But, there’s nothing between you and this Taeyong guy, right?” he raised a brow at Doyoung, intentionally teasing the older boy and he rolled his eyes on Jeno, “There’s nothing, jeez. Have some faith on me, Jeno.” He huffed, moving his body lower so that he can lean his head on Jeno’s shoulder.

Not letting the silence filling up the room, he looked up at Jeno, “So, what happened to you though, kid? That’s the first time ever I saw you crying like that…” the older boy asked carefully, giving his favorite little cousin some soft caresses on his arm, just in case it can make him feel better.

There’s nothing came out from Jeno’s mouth at first, but after some thinking and things, he finally willing himself to speak up, “Nana knows about my feelings, hyung—he finally knows. And you know what the worst part is?” he smiled bitterly, “His boyfriend was the one who actually told him about it, right in front of me and I couldn’t even say anything to defend myself, I could’ve deny it but I just froze there like an idiot. It felt so humiliating and I just ran away from them as fast as I could. I’m so embarassed with everything, hyung...” he said, trying hard to make his voice steady while holding back his tears.

Doyoung lets out a single gasp, “This bastard. I’ll kill him once I saw him, really.” He said in his anger manner. But knowing his hyung will never have the guts to do so, and thinking about him to actually trying to kill someone is just so funny, Jeno lets out his breathy laugh, he suddenly forgot about all of his problems.

Seeing Jeno finally brighten up—even for a little, Doyoung feels his heart softened again and he pats his cheek softly, “You look so so much better like this, Jen. I believe you can get through this, you’re a strong kid. But you really have to talk it out with Nana, okay? Just look at him calling you for—what the fuck he called you so many times! Why don’t you pick it up?” Doyoung panicked when he saw Jeno’s phone on the bed—realizing that it was actually keep showing Jaemin’s caller ID since the first second they talked.

Jeno shook his head, “I’m still not ready, hyung...” he mumbled, turning his phone down. Doyoung sighed, knowing how stubborn Jeno is right now, “Then when will you? What will you do? You’re gonna meet him too anyway.” He asked as he slowly getting up from the younger’s bed.

Jeno shook his head, “I was thinking for taking a whole week off from my classes.” Jeno said with a tiny voice, like whispering, but still clear enough for Doyoung to catch. He tilted his head to the side and palms on his waist, “Kid, this doesn’t have to be like this...” he said worriedly at Jeno.

Jeno bites his lower lip, lifting up his face to meet Doyoung’s worried look, “I can’t face him, my group, at least not in the meantime, hyung...”

 

*****

 

 **Junnie** **  
** [04.04 AM] i’ve heard everything from jaemin. do you want me to come over later?

 **Hyuckie** **  
** [10.34 AM] jenonono my baby where are you? :((((

 **Mark** **  
** [11.01 AM] jeno, where are you? nana’s been so worried about you. we’re all. please text us asap, yeah?

 

Jeno reads all the texts from his friends and tears start to formed on his eyes, for the hundred times that day. He doesn’t know what to do, he just laying there on his bed, lifelessly, while his eyes were staring blankly at his bedroom’s ceiling. Everything was still so confusing and he’s still feeling so embarrassing with what happened that night. _W_ _hat should_ _I_ _do_ _now_ _..._

An audible knocks on his door finally waking him up from his deep thought. He moved to lean on his side as he leaned his cheek on his palm, waiting for his cousin to call his name. “Uh, Jeno?” Doyoung’s voice came up to his ear and he feels relieved somehow. “Yes, hyung?” Jeno responded immediately as he sits up on his bed lazily, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand.

There’s this voice that Jeno couldn’t really catch into his ears, but he knows for sure, his Doyoung hyung isn’t alone there. “This.. uh… Hina-chan is here. She wants to talk to you.” The older said with some uncertainty clear on his voice.

Jeno shuts his eyes in frustration, sighing loudly. “Hyung, please tell her I don’t wanna—“

But everything is too late when his door suddenly opened and there she was, looking so upset and sad at the same time. “How could you—Jeno, we really need to talk—no! You need to tell me about everything!” she said as she proceed to enter the room, not forgetting to thank Doyoung for helping her before she closed the door.

Jeno turned his back on her, “I don’t wanna talk about anything right now, so please, Hina, just go home.” He stated firmly, but it seems that the girl doesn’t want to buy any excuses that Jeno had offer to her right now.

She climbed up to the bed, ignoring the fact that it’s a boy’s room and all—it’s Jeno’s after all, “Not before you talk to me!” she commands and Jeno quickly turned to see her, with frown on his forehead, “Hina!” he warned her with his loud voice but Hina also not wanting to let Jeno to keep his problem to himself without letting her to help him, “Tell me!”

Jeno was keeping his mouth shut tight before turning his back on her again, “This is so useless, I’m so useless, I can’t even say anything, you know? I just keep running away and being a coward, just as always!” he laughed bitterly at his own words, thinking that everything is just stupid.

The girl’s heart is broken just by hearing him saying that, imagining how hard it must be for Jeno right now. She placed her hand on his arm, “Jeno, Nana’s been so worried about you, he’s afraid that something bad might happened to you and—“

“Well, something bad did happen though.”

Too surprised with Jeno's answer, Hina slowly moving her hand away from him and placing it back on her lap, and then realizing that she really needed to tell Jeno about _this_. “I think they broke up, Jeno.” she said calmly.

There’s still no reaction from Jeno, so she continues, “Just so you know, Nana got really, _really_ mad at Jaehyun after what he did to you, Jen. He even told Jaehyun to not coming to see him ever again. He got so disappointed at him.”

Jeno shook his head in disbelief. This can’t be happening right now, no.

Hina stood on her knees on the bed, looking through the boy’s body just to see his reaction, “Do you want to talk to him, though?” she asked him carefully and Jeno quickly shook his head, “Not now, Hina-chan. I really need to take in everything before I have the courage to see him again. Just tell the guys I’ll be okay and maybe I’ll start contacting them again soon, but please to never ask me about it ever again, alright?”

Hina nodded her head understandingly and wrapped her arms around Jeno’s bigger figure, “You’ll be okay, Jeno. You and Jaemin are gonna be okay. Just know that all of us are here with you, okay?” She smiled warmly at him even though Jeno was not looking at her, but seeing Jeno nodded to her words, Hina feels at ease now.

 

*****

 

 **Jeno** **  
** jun, can you come over? [03.43 pm]

 **Junnie** **  
** [03.43 PM] omg jeno! yes! of course!

 **Jeno** **  
** you can bring yukhei too [03.45 PM]

 **Junnie**  
[03.45 PM] hehe i was about to ask you about it :3  
[03.45 PM] we’ll be there in 20!

 **Jeno** **  
** hurry up lovebirds :p [03.47 PM]

 

 

Doyoung, who happened to be sitting in the living room watching tv with a big cup of ice cream on his lap, running to the front door when he heard the knock, and there they are, Renjun and Yukhei, standing close to the door. “Oh! Doyoung hyung?” the smaller boy’s face lit up when he sees the older boy. And when the memory finally hits him, Doyoung pulled the smaller boy into a tight hug with no second thought, “Renjunnie! Oh, God, it’s been a long time since the last time I saw you!” the older boy said, feeling so happy that he finally met the mini him—the mischievous Renjun.

Doyoung pulled away from the hug and looking at the smiling giant next to Renjun, “And who’s this handsome boy?” Doyoung said, raising a brow at the younger boy and he blushed really hard because of it. “Oh, hello! I’m Renjun’s boyfriend, Wong Yukhei!” the taller said robotically as he stretch out his hand towards Doyoung and Doyoung just laughing at him, but still welcoming his hand, “Your boyfriend are funny, Jun.”

Renjun taking a moment to looking at the confused Yukhei, “Well, I’m lucky to have him though, hyung.” he smiled at the taller boy and when Yukhei was about to give him a peck on his cheek, Jeno, who actually has been there since the second Doyoung pulled Renjun into a bone-crushing hug, clearing his throat just to steal their attention, “Lovebirds, come in.” he smiled at them.

 

*****

 

And now that they’re already sitting in circle form on the living room’s cold floor that covered with large carpet and with food and cokes as their companion. Renjun was the first one who opened up their conversation. “So, Jeno, have you talk to Nana?” he asked as he leaned his head on Yukhei’s shoulder, nibbling on the jelly that Doyoung gave to him before.

Jeno shook his head, “I don’t know, Junnie. I’m still so embarassed about it and I’m afraid that he’s gonna say something that might hurt me even more.”

Hearing to what Jeno said, Yukhei, who has been so immersed with the show on the tv, has moved forward the black-haired boy, just so he could have a better sight of him, “Jeno, if I can give you some advice, you better put that side of you away, okay? I mean, come on man, all of this problem will never be solved if you can’t get rid of it, and I believe that Jaemin was still so sad right now—oh, if only you see how lifeless he was in campus, Jeno.” The giant said, not forgetting his hand gestures that somehow really amusing to Jeno.

Setting his humorous side aside, Jeno find himself agreeing to Yukhei's words, he really have to get rid his cowardness. “Yukhei, my brother, I really appreciate your advice, but I really need a little bit more time.” Jeno smiled at both of them and Yukhei nodded his head at him, “Hey, its okay, man. Just don’t make him wait too long, though. You really have to talk with him about all of this.” He reminded him and Jeno, once again, was drown into his own thought before doubtedly answering, “I won’t...”

 

****

 

Days were passing by just like that, with Jeno still trying to avoid Jaemin. Even though he’s already getting in touch with Mark and Hyuck again, he still insists for not contacting Jaemin at all, still with the same excuse. _H_ _e’s_ _still not ready for listening to Jaemin’s answer_.

“Jeno.” Doyoung sighed as he flopped himself right next to the younger boy, looking at him with his sad expression. Jeno shook his head in return, “Hyung, if all of this is about _that_ again, I’m going back to my room.” Jeno said with eyes were still fixed on the tv.

But Doyoung starts to squeeze the younger’s arm, “Jaemin called me, he really wants to talk to you. I mean, please, Jeno. Let yourself free from this problem, talk it out with Jaemin!” he said, desperately.

“What is it that he want to talk to me, though? It’s clear that there’s nothing that we really have to talk about.”

Hearing of what Jeno says, he slapped his arm hard, “Jen, you haven’t given Jaemin any explanation! You don’t just let the boy you loved knowing your true feelings and doing nothing about it, okay? Whether you’re being rejected or accepted, but you really have to talk to him, okay?”

Jeno sighed because he knows that his hyung was right. He really have to talk to Jaemin.

But then, a text suddenly came right after he agreed (by perforce) to his hyung for talking with Jaemin. And surprisingly, it’s from Jaehyun.

 

 **Shithead** **  
** [10.12 AM] can we talk

 

_Oh, really now, Jaehyun?_

**Jeno** **  
** place and time[10.13 AM]

 **Shithead** **  
** [10.13 AM] cafe near our campus, 11?

 **Jeno** **  
** k. [10.15 AM]

 

 

*****

 

When Jeno entered the place, he was being welcomed by this warm and delicious smell coming from the brew coffee. It doesn’t take a long time before he spotted Jaehyun sat at the back row, having his expression blank and he looked so down.

Jeno approached him slowly, not wanting to startle him. He tapped the table with the tip of his finger, “Jaehyun?” he called out to him, and Jaehyun quickly looking up at him, with his sad look.

Jeno shifted a little before he sit on his seat across from Jaehyun, and looking away from the older boy. He can hear the older boy letting out a sigh but he chose to not to look at him, yet.

“Uh, Jeno?” Jaehyun finally braving himself to speak up and Jeno reflexively looking at him, with a sharp look, “Look, I‘m not really in the mood to talk right now, so hurry.”

Jaehyun nodded his head weakly, staring at his own cup for a few seconds before looking up at Jeno again, “You know what I’m going to say right now to you, and I’m being genuine about this, so please, hear me out, okay?” the older said, shifting on his spot, leaning towards the table.

And the younger nodded his head silently, “Go on.”

Jaehyun let out a sigh, “I know I’m such a jerk for doing that to you. It’s really coward of me to expose you like that. I’m just really—I couldn’t help my feelings, okay? I’m so jealous at how Jaemin being so care about you! Sometimes I felt like I was never his boyfriend. But you, he talks a lot about you, all the time, Jeno. He just can’t stop talking about how happy he was spending time with you and your group. I’m just—I’m being so dumb. I’m really sorry, Jeno. I truly am.” Jaehyun’s voice started to trembles as he shook his head, “I-it’s okay even if you can’t forgive me, but I just want you to know, Jaemin care about you so much, Jeno.”

Jeno was silent, he just stared blankly at his coffee, stiring it slowly. _Just what the fuck all of this things I heard?_

Jeno lifted up his face to looking at Jaehyun, and when their eyes met, Jeno averted his eyes quickly to his coffee again, “I heard you two breaking up. Is it… because of me?” Jeno asked carefully. But Jaehyun shook his head, “No, Jeno, it’s not because of you. It’s because of me, my stupidity, my stupid jealousy.”

Jeno bits of his lower lips, trying to hold in his emotion. This is all so fucked up.

"Jaehyun I'm sorry ..."

Jaehyun knitted his brows in confusion,"No, why would you be sorry? I'm the one who is at fault, Jeno."

Jeno gives him a thin smile, "Come to think of it, someday he’ll know about my feelings sooner or later. And so, maybe this is how he found it out, through you. I’m okay now, Jae. "He said.

"You sure, Jeno?"

Jeno somehow, letting out a chuckle as he felt all the burden on his shoulder has been lifted up, “Though it was scary at first to think about, but I’m really sure now, it’s okay, really.”

Jaehyun smiled widely at the younger boy. “So...are we good now? I mean, like, we could start over our friendship, Jeno?” he asked hesitantly, too afraid that it’ll deepened their awkwardness.

Jeno nodded his head, still with his warm smile, “We’re good, Jaehyun.”

 

*****

 

Jeno opened his front gate with a little smile on his lips, feeling so light in his chest, after all the talk with Jaehyun. He could finally letting it all out, all the feelings that piled up and keep making him anxious from a few days ago.

“Jeno!” a voice that's so familiar in his ears, calling him from in front of him and Jeno looked up immediately, feels like he suddenly can’t breathe.

“Jaemin...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> an update is finally here! <3  
> sorry it took so long, loves! TAT  
> and this is just another long-ass chapter shshjs
> 
> i hope you guys enjoy this!  
> don't forget to give some kudos or comments!  
> xoxo
> 
> #ps: pls forgive me if there are some typos and grammatical errors sdhdjsk


	10. Chapter 10

The silence now starts to take over to fill the Lee’s living room and it felt so suffocating for both of the two young boys—the awkwardness, the unspoken words, the confusion, their longing for each other. It fills the room perfectly that it actually made Jeno wants to run away—but he couldn’t.

 

Jaemin who sat close to Jeno, was looking at him, feeling a little bit sad by seeing the reaction that Jeno give to him the first time he saw Jaemin standing on his terrace a couple minutes ago, “Was a week still not enough, Jeno? Are you really planning to avoid me, like, forever?” the younger asked with his wavery voice. It’s hurt to hear Jaemin saying that directly to him.

 

Jeno shook his head, trying to convince himself that he was still not ready, that this is not the right time to talk about everything with his crush, who happened  to knowing about his true feelings, “Nana, its still—I can’t. It’s still overwhelming right now. It felt so humiliating, I couldn’t even tell—“

 

“Stop talking nonsense, okay? None of this—your feelings—none of it was embarassing, okay? Jeno, look at me,” Jaemin rested his hand on the older’s knee, trying to gain his attention. And when his eyes finally met Jeno’s, after a whole week he didn’t see those beautiful dark-brown eyes, he felt relieved. A whole week for not being able to see Jeno is surely too long for Jaemin.

 

He bits his lower lip, holding himself up from smiling too much, “If you think that it will ruin our friendship or anything will gone awkward between us, believe me, Jeno, it won’t—not at all. I thought you’re better than this, though?” the pink haired boy now sticking out his lower lip to form a cute pout.

 

Somehow, hearing Jaemin saying something like this really lifted up all the burdens he felt in his chest—it gave him a hope. The kind of hope that he always wish would come from Jaemin himself. But then again, he just couldn’t do it—he still can’t let himself free.

 

He shifted away a little bit from Jaemin, rubbing both of his sweaty hands on his pants nervously, “Nana, I’m sorry, but please just forget about what Jaehyun told you that night, okay?” Jeno can feel that he was about to choke on his own saliva, but successfully proceeding a small smile after it.

 

Jaemin tilted his head to the side, not knowing how to handle Jeno’s stubborness. He wants to convince him that everything’s okay, but he also don’t want to push him more than this because he knows that it’ll end up making Jeno taking another step farther away from him.

 

He smiled fondly at the black-haired boy in the end, stretching an arm out towards him, “Come here,” he commands and Jeno hesitately but willingly moving closer to him again.

 

When his palm is finally placed on Jeno’s soft cheek, Jaemin sighed, “I’ll try to forget about it, but promise me that we’re gonna be good again, how about it?” he said, locking his gaze with Jeno’s uncertain one while his fingers were playing with the hair that touched the tip of Jeno’s ear.

 

It feels uneasy even more when Jaemin says it, but Jeno had to agree with him, eventhough he knew that everything will never be like how they used to be.

 

“Jenooo!” his cousin’s voice coming from the upstair, and then steps can be heard coming down from the wooden stairs, “Are you home already?” the older asked with his cheerful tone as his figure slowly coming up to the two’s sight and when he locked his eyes to Jaemin’s, he grins widely, “Na Jaemin!” he shouted happily as he runs down from the stairs and throwing himself at the pink-haired boy on the couch.

 

Doyoung quickly pulled away and looking at Jaemin still with those big grin on his face when he first saw him, “I never thought you’ll come!” he squeezed the younger’s cheeks with his palms, eyeing the black haired boy next to them, “You made up your mind now, kiddo?” he wiggled his brow at him and Jaemin lets out a snort, “He’s stubborn as hell, but don’t worry, hyung! I can make him to change his mind!” Jaemin chuckled when Jeno giving him a light slap on his arm.

 

But then, Jeno realized that his hyung is dressing up so nicely—he even using some good scent perfume, and that’s just so rare coming from the Kim Dongyoung.

 

Jeno felt the urge to ask in him is raising up, and so he did it, “Where are you going though, hyung?” he asked genuinely curious and Doyoung snapped his head to looking at him with his blushing cheeks, “I....am going to meet my boyfriend.” he smiled shyly as he snatched himself off from Jaemin and sit between the two of them.

 

Jaemin let out a sudden fake gasp at Doyoung, “Eh? You have a boyfriend, hyung?” he mockingly asked the older boy and only gained a small pout from him, “You’re lucky you’re my favorite baby, Jaemin,” he said as he poked Jaemin’s cheek with his forefinger, before finally getting up from the couch, placing his palms on his waist, “Be good at home, kiddos! Hyung’s gonna be back late at night!” he smirked as he ruffles both of their hair, making them groaning upsetly.

 

“Just go now, you old man!” Jeno shouted when Doyoung was already running toward the front door, “When I get home, it better be clean, okay? Or I’m going to strangle you, Lee Jeno!” he said as he peeked into the house before finally closing the door without even letting neither Jeno nor Jaemin to answer him.

 

Jeno moved his eyes away from the door and back to Jaemin, “Why is he being like that only to me, though? You’re also here! It’s not fair!” he complaint and Jaemin sticking out his tongue at him, “It’s not my fault you’re not his favorite baby, Jeno.” He laughed and Jeno shoved him away, feeling betrayed by his cousin’s favoritism.

 

There’s silence filling in the room again before Jaemin speaking up, “We really need to catch up for our wasted week, Jen!” he smiled innocently towards him and Jeno knitted his brows, with his blushing cheeks, “A week is not that long, Na Jaemin. Stop exaggerating.” Jeno shook his head and getting up from the couch.

 

Jeno was heading to his kitchen but then he stopped in the mid-way as he turned his head to looking at Jaemin over his shoulder, “Nana, I’m hungry. Can you make something for me?” he asked, eyes refusing to meet with Jaemin’s sprakly one.

 

Jaemin’s now beaming at Jeno’s request and immediately getting up from the couch, “For you, I’ll make the most delicious food!” his smile now grew wider than ever.

 

 

*****

 

 

“So... Jaehyun came to that party just to tell you that he passes the audition?” Jeno said as he shoved a spoonful of his kimchi fried rice into his mouth.

 

Jaemin nodded as his mind trailed back to that night, when Jaehyun suddenly barging in into the bathroom and shoving him to the wall and well, you guys know what happens after that. And just thinking about it was giving another knot on his stomach.

 

“Have you talk to him, Nana?” Jeno asked softly, looking at Jaemin’s saddened expression as he shook his head slowly.

 

“I don’t know, Jen. I really really want to talk to him, damn I really do. I missed him—but my heart just, I’m still so disappointed of what he did to you. That’s just really bad of him to breaking you like that. I’m sorry Jeno...”

 

Sometimes he really wants to punch Jaehyun right on his face for making Jaemin keep apologizing for him. But then again, what can he do though? He doesn’t have the right to be jealous—he is no one.

 

“Hina told me about everything, Nana. And I think you shouldn’t do that, that’s just too much.” Jeno shrugged his shoulder, putting down his spoon on his plate, suddenly loosing his appetite. “Jaehyun is jealous and I absolutely understand how he felt, Nana. If I was him, maybe I’d do the same thing too.” He lied, again.

 

“Yeah, but he hurt my best friend, my first best friend ever, you’re my precious one, Jeno. I could never let anyone do something bad to you...” Jaemin smiled bitterly at his own food, realizing that he do feel bad about what he did to his boyfriend—ex-boyfriend.

 

“But, he’s your boyfriend, Jaemin.”

 

Jaemin lifted up his face to looking at Jeno still with his bitter smile, “Yeah, but a boyfriend should trust his other half, don’t you think?” he leaned his chin on his hand, looking to the outside view through the window in front of him.

 

“It happens for too long already, Jeno. Do you know what was it that made us get into fights a lot? Because he said that I just can’t stop talking about you and he got so upset, he got really sensitive the second I mentioned your name when we were talking. So basically, everything is my fault.” he added before getting up from his seat and taking his unfinished lunch to the sink.

 

“Jaemin...”

 

“No, really. I know it, I’m being dumb. I should apologize to Jaehyun later.” Jaemin said as he looking at the black-haired boy with his small smile on his lips.

 

 _Is_ _this_ _mean_ _they’ll_ _get_ _back_ _together?_

 

 

*****

 

 

“Jenonono my baby!! Hyuck misses you so so much!!” the tan-skinned boy running towards him through the hallway, while Hina was trying to make him stop from making a scene by pulling his hair harshly.

 

Jeno rolled his eyes jokingly at them, because, well, he misses his friends too, _so_ _fucking_ _much_.

 

Hina and Haechan were too busy bickering that they don’t even realized that Mark was the first one having his arm over Jeno’s shoulder as soon as he catch up to him, “Kids, stop!” he shouted at both of them and when they turned to see Mark smiling mockingly at them, they start yelling some undefined words and that’s the cue for both Mark and Jeno to run away.

 

Once they’re all settled in their class, with Jaemin’s late arrival, the class finally started.

 

 _“you feel_ _okay_ _today?”_ Jaemin passes the note to Jeno who sat next to him (as always), and when Jeno finally looking at him with a confused look, he lets out a really tiny giggle, trying to not stealing the class’s attention.

 

 _“why wouldn’t I?”_ Jeno write it down on the paper, and when he was about to pass it to Jaemin, Mrs. Jung’s voice was so clear to everyone's ear inside the class, calling out Jaemin’s name.

 

“Mr. Na, the class is right here, not on Mr. Lee, so pay attention to what I said.” she said as she turned her back to the class and starts writing on the white board again, while the class starts cooing at the embarassed Jaemin.

 

“Fuck it, Mrs. Jung.” Jaemin mumbled as he looking down toward his shoes and Jeno was silently laughing at him, along with the whole class.

_Well, at least Jeno knew that today is a good day, right?_

 

 

*****

 

 

There they’re sitting on the bleachers just like the usual thing they do, watching the other kids playing basket ball while they were just having their talks and throwing some lame jokes at each other.

 

With Jaemin sits next to Jeno and Donghyuck leaning his head on Jeno’s shoulder, still sulking because Mark is suddenly gone from his sight after their class—being forcefully pulled by some girls from another class, he currently became the idol in their department because of a video of him rapping gone viral around the campus.

 

“I hope he chokes while rapping and die!” Donghyuck grunts again as he keeps on chewing the tip of his straw, letting all the jealousy filling him up. Jeno and Jaemin who are now sitting on each side of Donghyuck, giving each other a confused look, before going back to their food, choosing to not give any response to Donghyuck’s ramble.

 

“You guys really just going to sit here busy with your food and not paying any attention to me too, just like what that Lee Minhyung did to me?” the tan-skinned boy blurt, unamusedly and sarcastically.

 

Jeno turned to him, and before he could even speak, Mark finally showing up, with a small bouquet of flower on his hands, which Jeno and Jaemin believed that Mark picks up from the sidewalk before he got here for his sulking boyfriend.

 

“Baby.” He smiled widely as he handed the small bouquet to the unamused Donghyuck who has his eyes looking to another direction, away from Mark.

 

Mark, knowing that he fucked everything up, gave Jeno and Jaemin a “Help me!” look and with a quick move, both of them moved a little bit far from the couple—giving them some privacy to get their shit done.

 

While Mark was still trying to apologize to Donghyuck with a cheesy and sickeningly cute way, Jaemin and Jeno were also having their talk. And it’s about Jaehyun, absolutely.

 

“Jeno, can I ask you for something?” Jaemin asked quietly as he put down the empty carton of his chocolate milk on his side. Not thinking much, Jeno nodded his head, “Anything, Nana.” he smiled.

 

Jaemin choose to have his eyes fixed on those basketball team who was still on their game, “Can you come with me this weekend to the airport?” he sighed softly before moving his eyes towards Jeno, with this unreadable look that Jeno wasn’t so sure about.

 

The black-haired boy sticking out his tongue, proceeding to wet his not so dry lips, “You’re going somewhere?” Jeno asked confusedly and Jaemin quickly shaking his head, “It’s not me! It’s…it’s Jaehyun.” Jaemin hesitatedly tell him and Jeno could feel a pang in his chest, but he chose to ignore it.

 

“And…where’s he going, though?” he asked again, now with a half-hearted smile. Jaemin shrugged his shoulders, backing his head away and looking up to the slightly gloomy sky, “Jae told me that he’s going to move back with his parents to America, and he’s going to start his training on his agency a month from now.” Jaemin explained and Jeno just nodded his head without really paying any attention to the details that Jaemin told him.

 

The pink-haired boy buried his own face into his palms, and Jeno feels like he really wanted to give him a warm big hug, but he choose for not doing so.

 

“Are you ready, though, Nana?” Jeno asked him carefully, not wanting to make Jaemin getting sadder than this. When Jaemin looking at him, he can see that his eyes are tearing up again and so Jeno slowly looking away from him.

 

Jaemin was keep looking at the older boy, and with a little encouragement from his tiny heart, he moved closer to Jeno and lean his head on his shoulder, “I’m still not ready to let him go now, Jeno…”

 

 

******

 

 

“So...” Jaemin words trailed away, but when he looked up at the older boy in front of him, his eyes just going back to looking at his shoes again, “This is it, huh?” he laughed dryly, didn’t really know why’d all of this felt so awkward. They were so in love before, but why is it so awkward now?

 

“This is it, Nana,” the older boy smiled softly at him, with that cute dimple on his right cheek.

 

Jaemin wasn’t so sure at how to end the awkwardness around them, so he stretch out his arm towards him, “I hope all the best for you, Jae,” he‘s trying hard to not to look at him—because he knows he’ll cry the next second he saw those smile.

 

And Jaehyun on the other side, taking a step closer to the younger boy, “At least, give me one last warm hug, will you?” he lets out a breathy laugh but when Jaemin shook his head almost immediately, he sighed—feels a little bit disappointed, “Jaemin, look at me,” he whispered it softly because he was afraid if he lets out a louder voice than this, it would break the fragile Jaemin.

 

“I can’t. I’ll just cry again when I see you smiling at me.” Jaemin mumbled and that’s when Jaehyun decided to give up on holding in his emotion, pulling Jaemin into a tight hug. “I’m sorry. I messed everything up for us, Nana…” he bits his lower lips, trying to keep his voice steady.

 

Jaemin pulled away from their hug slowly, proceeding on making eye contact with Jaehyun, “Jae, just know that I love you, okay? I’m okay, you’re okay, we’re okay. At least, please always remember that we’ve ever been so in love with each other.” The younger smiled fondly at him, “I love you, hyung. Thank you for everything that you’ve done for me, for the love that you showered me with, the trust that you give me. I’m sorry that I broke it—I’m sorry for making you feel insecure with our love, I’m sorry, this is all my fault, Jae—“

 

“Na Jaemin—“

 

The announcement for Jaehyun’s flight came and Jaemin groaning upsetly, because not only he was being cut off by Jaehyun but also by this stupid announcer.

 

“I hate it.” Jaemin rolled his eyes and Jaehyun gives him a light pat on top of his head, “I have to go now, Nana,” he raised his brows at Jaemin and the younger boy just gives him his little pout.

 

But all Jaehyun did was standing there, be stupefied on how beautiful Jaemin looks right now. He brings both of his hands to each side of Jaemin’s face, thumbing the younger’s cheek, “I hope you’ll always be happy, Jaemin.” He smiled as he keep his eyes locking with Jaemin’s teary one, “You too, Jae.” Jaemin let out a shaky breath, chuckling when he felt his tears finally giving up and rolled over his cheeks.

 

He’s looking at Jaemin for the last time, “Don’t forget to listen to the song that I send to you, Nana,” he smiled and with a last kiss on Jaemin’s forehead, finally bid his farewell to Jaemin—not forgetting to give Jeno—who was waiting for Jaemin not too far from where they were standing right now the whole time—a warm smile, “Please take care of him!” he shouted at him with a happy tone and Jeno just nodded at him, with the same kind of smile too.

 

When Jaehyun walks away from the pink-haired boy, Jeno decided to approach him, wanting to ask him if he want to go home or maybe he have somewhere else in mind, but to his surprise, Jaemin is now running towards him, ready to throw himself at him.

 

_So when he did, Jeno wrapped his arms safely around Jaemin’s waist, while Jaemin is crying hard, in his arms._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeay! another update for you guys!  
> its 2 am right now so pls forgive me for any typos,  
> any grammatical error, or some nonsense line shjdskd  
> i'm so sleepy TAT
> 
> don't forget to leave some kudos and comments, loves <3  
> xoxo


	11. Chapter 11

_So whenever you ask me again_  
_How I feel_  
_Please remember_  
_My answer is you_  
_Even if we have to go around a long way_  
_I will still feel the same_  
_We’ll be alright_  
_I want to try again_

 

The faint sound of the song could be heard through the headphone that was lazily hanging on Jaemin’s neck. He keeps on rereading the text that he received from Jaehyun just when he was about to get inside Jeno’s car.

 

 **Jae <3**  
[09.07 AM] Nana, I don’t want to exaggerating things, but one thing you should know, I want you to be happy. I always want you to be happy, and whoever got the chance to make you happy Is the lucky one. And I believe you also know who the right person is. Please give yourself a chance to be happy too, Nana.

  
[09.09 AM] I’m so glad to get to know a beautiful person like you.

  
[09.09 AM] And I’m sorry that I still can’t be the best for you.

  
[09.11 AM] We’ll find our own happiness someday, eventually. Let’s believe on that, okay?

  
[09.13 AM] I love you, Nana.

 

Jaemin sighed, putting his phone back into his pocket, curling up on his seat as he lowers his window, making a way for the wind to hit his face softly. “Hey, Jeno?” he calls out the black-haired boy next to him and the latter responded with a soft hum while he’s still focusing on the road.

Jaemin took a long pause before he finally opened up his mouth again, “I’ll be okay, right?” he asked in the most desperate tone and Jeno steal a quick glance at him before focusing on the road again, “Of course you’ll be okay, Jaemin. I’ll make sure of it, don’t worry, okay?” he reassured him with a small smile on his lips while his right hand was reaching out to Jaemin’s and giving it a light squeeze, which Jaemin gladly returned with the same gesture to Jeno, letting him know that he trust him.

And then, just like a click, Jeno remembered about something as he slapped his stir wheel lightly, “Oh, right!” he said enthusiastically, “Do you want to hang out with Mark and Donghyuck, though? They haven’t see you for 3 days and Hyuck being a fuss about it, Jaem.” he steal another quick glance at Jaemin who’s eyes were still glued to the outside view and still refusing to let go of Jeno’s warm hand.

Jaemin nodded, thinking that he might be really needs his friends the most right now. He really needs some distraction.

 

*****

 

Standing right in front of MarkHyuck’s door, Jeno take a chance to looking at Jaemin, who are also looking at him with worrisome was clear on his face, “Are you nervous?” he smiled softly at him, naturally taking the younger’s hand in his.

Jaemin shaking his head slowly, also feeling a little unsure with his own feelings—there’s just so much feelings In him right now, “No, I’m just—what if Hyuck still mad at me, Jeno? After all I’ve said to him…. a few days ago…” his voice got stuck at the last word but he managed to finish It.

Even Jeno didn’t really know about the things that have happened between Donghyuck and Jaemin for the last few days after they met at Jaemin’s house, but he also doesn’t want to push Jaemin to tell him the whole story, because he knows that he’ll only keeping his mouth shut again.

Jeno turned his body towards Jaemin and the younger was following his gesture, “How could he stay mad at you, Nana? All he did was keep asking about you to me all this time.” Jeno gives him soft strokes on the back of his hand, “Don’t be nervous, okay?” he encourages him and when Jaemin finally nodding his head, Jeno knocks the door.

Even after some knocks and pressing the bell for many times, the door is still not opening, so that Jeno became impatient and starts shouting over the door, “Duo Lee, I’m going to burn your place if you’re not opening your door In five!” he shouts in amusement, and before he could even starts the count, the door finally swinging opened, “For fuck sake, Lee Jeno! You’re bothering my neighbors so much!” the tan-skinned boy hissed at the snickers Jeno.

But when he finally realizes Jaemin’s presence—standing right behind Jeno—his expression softened with a small smile slowly blooming on his face, “Nana…” he softly called his name, and Jeno quickly moving aside so that they can finally see each other clearly.

Jaemin shifted on his spot, locking his gaze to the floor that lay under his feet, “U-uh… Hyuckie, I’m so sorry for the mean words I told you that day, I’m just really not in my good mood and—“

Without saying anything, Donghyuck immediately tugged the younger boy into a tight hug, burying his face on his shoulder, “Nana, its okay. You don’t have to be sorry about it. I totally understand.” The words were muffled into Jaemin’s shirt, but still clear enough to be catch by Jaemin himself.

“Yeah, but I said that you know nothing about breaking up and being left, and I screwed it all up because I should have known the best about your—“

“Jaemin, you’re blabbering again,” Donghyuck said with a fond smile on his face, eyeing the confused Jeno at the side.

Donghyuck bring his hand to the younger’s cheek, thumbing it softly, “Na Jaemin, what I’ve been through with Mark can’t be compared to what you’ve been through with Jaehyun,” he said, trying not sounding so harsh at explaining things to him, “We have our own story on our own way, Nana. So, what I want you to do now, please be happy, please don’t ever blame everything on yourself, alright? Can you do that for me?” he looked up at him, still with his soft smile on his face, but when he saw that Jaemin is tearing up again, he scrunch up his nose, making the aww sound before giving Jaemin the warm hug that Jaemin need the most.

And at the same time, Mark came out from their apartment, with hair sticking out here and there, “What are you guys doing outside? Come in!” he gestured all of them to come in, before giving his boyfriend an ‘i can’t believe you did this’ look, “Baby, you’re a bad house owner for not letting your guest in,” he added.

Donghyuck looking back at him, “Lee Minhyung, can’t you see that I’m having a moment with my baby here?” he said with his arms were still protectively wrapped around Jaemin’s body.

Mark widening his eyes, “But I’m your baby…” he mumbled as he moved his eyes towards Jeno, “I’m his one and only baby, right?” he asked him for the reassurance and Jeno smiled at him, “Yes, Mark. You’re the one and only.” He said—he could just tease Mark for a bit but he chose to not to.

When Jaemin was had enough from crying into Donghyuck’s shoulder, he pulled away slowly, “Thank you, Hyuckie,” he smiled a little as he wept the tears that were still rolling down through his damp cheeks before finally looking up at Mark who still standing near the doorway, “Hi, hyung,” he finally greeted him and Mark nodded his chin up at him, “Hello there, Donghyuck’s other baby,” he gives him a small smile before it turns into a cute grin.

 

*****

 

While Jeno and Mark were having battle on Mario Kart, Donghyuck and Jaemin were preparing for their late lunch, listening to the two others arguing about who’s the best on their game and making a bet on it.

“You two need to chill, really! It’s just a game!” Donghyuck shouts from the kitchen, surprising both Jeno and Mark, and even Jaemin too. The tan-skinned boy turned his head innocently towards the pink-haired boy with his curled up lips, “They act like kids so much, don’t you think, Nana?” he giggled, continuing to peel the carrot on his hand neatly.

“What are you guys making?” Jeno’s voice suddenly came to their ears, and when Jaemin turned around, he saw Jeno was there standing near the kitchen island, giving Jaemin his beautiful eye-smile.

Donghyuck, realizing that he’s being the third wheeler, putting down the carrot and the knife from his hand and also turning around towards Jeno, “Jeno, can you please take Jaemin with you to the living room? Oh, and,” Donghyuck tiptoeing on his spot, looking for his boyfriend that’s still so busy with his game, “Mark Lee! Come here!” he shouts.

And not even before ten seconds passed, Mark was already there in the kitchen, making the room suddenly crowded, “Do you really have to yell at me like that, Hyuck?” he pouted as he walked towards Donghyuck and giving his boyfriend a quick kiss on his lips before wrapping his arms around the younger’s waist.

Not really sure of what will happen, both Jeno and Jaemin were looking at each other, before Jeno back to looking at the couple in front of them, “O-okay, I didn’t come here just to see you guys making out in the kitchen.” Jeno raised his hands up before walking out from the kitchen, not forgetting to pull Jaemin away with him. “We’re not even doing anything, you dumbass!” Donghyuck yelled at him.

Ignoring the grumpy Donghyuck, Jeno and Jaemin are now sitting comfortably on the couch, “Do you feel any better now, Jaem?” Jeno asked him as he took a sip of his drink when he saw Jaemin nodding to his words.

There’s some knocks and bell ringing from the front door just when Jeno leaned his back to the armrest, placing his feet on Jaemin’s lap jokingly. “Hyuck, someone’s at your door!” Jeno informed him,  “Just open it! It might be Junnie!” he shouts from the kitchen.

Jeno and Jaemin were both looking at each other with the confusion on their face, since they know nothing about Renjun’s unexpected visit but Jeno proceed to get up from his seat and walking towards the front door.

And when he opened the door, there’s Renjun, with tears streaming down to his cheeks. The smaller boy didn’t even say anything—he just immediately throwing himself at Jeno, wrapping his arms on Jeno’s waist tightly as he keeps on crying. While Jaemin can only standing there right behind them, feeling a little bit surprised and...uneasy.

 

*****

 

“There’s this girl who keep on trying to get close to Yukhei when we were in the library today…” Renjun starts, sniffles come from his nose, “They didn’t do anything, though. I was just—I feel like, I’m not comparable with that girl, you know. I feel like I don’t even deserve such a perfect guy like Yukhei… And she looks so perfect for him… That’s when I choose to just run away from Yukhei…”

“Jun, you’re perfect.” Jeno said, still having his arm around Renjun’s shoulder. Renjun was only looking back at Jeno with his teary eyes and his sad smile, “I’m just…” he looked down again before even finishing his words because of Donghyuck’s tight hug, “Jun, you’re okay. Don’t ever let one girl to messing up with your own feelings, don’t let her presence affecting you, no. I’m sure that Yukhei will always choose you over those girls.” He said with a cute pout.

Jaemin, who sat on the opposite couch was only looking at his friends gathering around the crying Renjun, feels like he was being the left out one.

Getting so sick of being forgotten, Jaemin sighed a little bit louder than he expected, “You guys are supposed to comforting me today.” he said lowly, particularly towards Jeno. And Jeno quickly turned his head to looking at the younger boy next to him wth a confused look, totally lost with what Jaemin really mean with his words.

“Never mind, I just wanna go home. I wanna get some rest.” Jaemin gets up from the couch and make the whole room tense with the sudden change of his mood.

Mark slowly gets up from his seat, “Jaemin, wait.”

The younger turned around when he heard his name was being called, just to turn down their hope for him to stay, “No, really, Mark. You guys can continue talking to Injunnie, I’ll just go back by myself.” he said calmly with a thin smile on his lips, still sticking up to his plan to go out from the couple’s apartment.

“Jaemin, you’re being ridiculous right now.” Jeno tried to keep his voice steady, not wanting to make the younger boy to feel worse than he already did.

But Jaemin ignored him and finally getting out from the place.

Donghyuck, still with Renjun in his arms, releasing another sigh, “Go after him, Jen.” he said with his firm tone, like reminding Jeno that he has to take care of Jaemin, and that’s what Jeno did next.

“Nana!” he calls out to Jaemin’s name, hearing his own voice echoing through the hallway when he saw that Jaemin already standing right in front of the elevator.

The door opened and Jaemin immediately getting into the elevator, and thankfully, Jeno succeed getting in, too.

“What the fuck?” Jaemin said under his breathe when he saw Jeno presses all the floor’s numbers.

Jeno turned around so that he could see Jaemin’s face, but he shuts his eyes frustratedly when he saw Jaemin’s irritated one, “Will you listen to me?” he bits his lower lip a little but harder than his intention.

Jaemin scoffs at his words, “I’m sad enough today, Jeno. And you, Hyuck and Mark just make it worse, so no, I won’t listen to you, thanks.” he said monotonously as he tried to press door open button when they’ve arrived on a certain floor, but failed to do so because Jeno was blocking him and immediately pressing the close door button again.

“Renjun is not in a good term right now and you also know that Hyuck likes to babying him, Jaemin.” He said with his eyes following Jaemin’s upset one.

Jaemin shrugged his shoulder lazily, “It’s not just Hyuck, but you and Mark too. You guys suddenly forget that I was there. I want to be comforted too, you know I need—“

“You’re the one who chose to break up with Jaehyun, Nana. Remember that.” Jeno abruptly let the words out from his mouth, and apparently, it comes out too harsh for Jaemin.

Jaemin shook his head in disbelief, feeling his own eyes were burning from tears, his chest felt so suffocating, “Really now, Jeno?” his voice cracking up and that’s when Jeno realized he screwed it up. He totally screwed it up.

“Nana—no, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that... please...” he tried to hold to Jaemin’s hand but he quickly shoved him away, pressing the door open button furiously.

When the elevator finally stops and the door are opening, Jaemin turned around before he gets out from the place, looking at Jeno with his already wet eyes, it looks like he wanted to say something but there’s just no words couldn’t make it’s way to come, so he choose to just walked away.

Jeno was stand still in the elevator, falling on his knees when the elevator’s door finally closing and started to move again, regretting all the words that he spitted out from his own mouth.

Jeno didn’t have the strength to do anything—it feels like his legs are also already giving up on him so he just sat there, being a crying mess, doesn’t really care about what’ll people think about him when they saw him like that.

But then, when the elevator finally reached the lobby and the door is finally opening again, and Jeno immediately looking up to the person that already standing right in front of the door, breathlessly. And to his surprise, it was Jaemin, still crying—just like him.

“You’re such an idiot!” he cried and getting in into the elevator, and presses the MarkHyuck’s floor, following Jeno to sit down on the floor.

“I’m sorry...” Jeno said, still with his cracked voice, looking at the younger with his teary eyes, and somehow, Jaemin find him cute looking like that.

Jaemin slowly ran his fingers over Jeno’s hair, carding it between his fingers softly, “Its okay, you’re just saying the truth, Jeno. I should have known it better. I’m sorry, for everything. I know you’re just trying to be nice to me and Jun, I shouldn’t be so childish about it, right?” he smiled genuinely towards the older boy.

Jeno shrugged his shoulder, not fully agree with Jaemin's words, “I should have been better at telling you things, Nana.”

Jaemin shook his head, “No, you’re okay, Nono!” he let out a small chuckle and when they heard the ding sound, telling them that they’ve finally arrived on their destination, Jaemin helps Jeno to get up and lead them to MarkHyuck's place again.

When they reached to the door, Jaemin stopping and it made Jeno did the same.

Jaemin turned to the confused Jeno, looking down at their intertwined hands, and back to Jeno’s beautIful orbs, “You’re a really great friend of mine, best of the best, I could never imagine if I wasn’t your friend anymore, never. So, will you forgive me for what I did to you, Jeno?” he asked to the older boy carefully, which made Jeno nods his head like a little kid with slightly red nose and puffy eyes, and Jaemin couldn’t help himself but to caressed Jeno’s cheek with his free hand, “I love you, Jen.”

And Jeno’s expression suddenly changed, and Jaemin knows what’s about to coming up. He knows he shouldn’t say those words, especially not now, not after what happened a week ago.

Jeno was taken aback for a moment there, but he pretend that it didn’t affect him. But still, he wants to make it clear for both of them—for himself in particular.

Jeno opened the thankfully-unlocked-door and walking in backwards into the place as he lead the younger with him, locking his eyes with Jaemin's nervous one, before slowly letting his hand go from his own, feeling the warmth disappearing, started from his palm and slowly to the tip of his fingers.

_“But my ‘I love you’ has different meaning from yours, Nana…”_

Hearing of what Jeno has said to him really surprised him. He could hear faint noises coming from their friends who're now running towards him, but his focus was still on Jeno, who smiled so gently towards him, implying sincerity.

And since then, Jaemin keep seeing the butterflies that he used to see when he saw Jeno's smile the first time they know each other—that day when Jeno was crying and Jaemin come to comforting him and finally became his friend, flying around the room.

He doesn't know why, but he felt relieved when he sees them.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> new update is finally here! hehe :3  
> i hope you guys enjoyed it, just as much as i do when i write this sjdjfks  
> and what happened today, news about hyuck really broke my heart TAT  
> i hope our fullsun will recover soon and not blaming himself for what happened :(  
> #GetWellSoonHaechan 
> 
> everyone please always take care, too!
> 
> #ps: i'm so sorry for any typos or any grammatical error ><  
> xoxo


	12. Chapter 12

Jeno and his mom are now standing right in front of Jaemin’s door, with a gift and a bouquet of flowers that he had prepared right before he come to Jaemin’s place, which now were being hidden behind his back. And what was all of that for? Oh, you’ll see.

 

“You better impressed the Na tonight, okay?” Jeno’s mother whispering to Jeno’s ear, which he quickly moved away from, “Mom, stop acting like this, please. We’re just going for a dinner and besides, my other friends are here too, so–”

“It’s still a special dinner with your soon to be in-law, Lee Jeno.” she smiled teasingly at him with her wiggly brow and when they heard noises coming from the other side of the door, they quickly looked away from each other with Jeno grumbling under his breathe.

As the door was finally open, there’s Jaemin’s mother—still wearing her pretty pink apron, and there’s also Jaemin standing right behind his mother, with a sweet smile, as always.

Jaemin’s mother immediately inviting them to come inside when Jeno handed her a paper bag with the small gift inside of it, “Mom keep reminding me to bring something for you on your birthday party tonight, I hope you’ll like it, Aunty.” He said with a shy smile, eyes meeting Jaemin’s bright one before looking back at Jaemin’s mother.

Jaemin’s mother waved her hand at Jeno with some soft laughter following after it, “Oh, son, you don’t have to! But, thank you, really! I’m pretty sure I’m gonna love just anything that you give to me.” she smiled fondly at him as she gave him a soft caress on his cold cheek.

When the moms are finally getting inside the house, Jaemin stepped to the front of the black-haired boy to blocking up his way, rising a brow at him, “And are you not gonna show me that, Jeno?” he grinned widely at him, tiptoeing to see at what kind of flowers it was behind Jeno’s back.

Jeno was trying to hide it even more, but then to think of it, there’s no point to hide it because Jaemin will eventually saw it, right? So, he lets out a sigh before finally handed the bouquet to the younger boy, “Mom was keep pushing me to give you one, so…” he said with his face still looking away from the boy in front of him.

Jaemin was only looking at the bouquet at first. It was sunflowers with some baby breath as the companion. It looks simple yet so meaningful, for Jaemin himself. Jeno said that it was his mother’s idea to give him flowers, but still, Jaemin is feeling so grateful about it.

A soft smile bloomed on his lips as he looked up at Jeno’s face when he felt that his cheeks were warming up, “Thank you, Jeno. I love it.” He said to the older boy as he took the bouquet and naturally smelling it even though he knows it won’t have any particular scent like roses, before finally wrapping his arms around the bouquet safely.

Seeing Jaemin’s soft expression and with that sweet smile and the way he hugged the bouquet in his arms really did something to Jeno’s heart and it made the adrenaline in him rising up. Jeno undoubtedly took one step closer to Jaemin, still locking his eyes with the younger’s.

“Uhm.. Nana?” he calls out to him softly and Jaemin raised his brows at him—humming as the reply, and somehow it made the confident in him shrink down again, but he tried to talk about it anyway, “I know that I told you to forget about what Jaehyun has told you that night, but can I ask you to give me a chance to prove my love to you, so that you’ll realized it by yourself?” he said, straightforwardly—basically forgetting on how to breathe properly when the nervousness starts hitting him.

Jeno didn’t realize this, but Jaemin himself was actually got taken aback by Jeno’s sudden confession. And no, of course he didn’t forget about all of it—Jeno’s precious feelings—because, how could he forget about it?

Jaemin brings one of his hands towards Jeno’s face while the other one is still protecting the bouquet from falling to the ground, caressing Jeno’s cheek softly with the back of his fingers, somehow finding himself was as nervous as Jeno is, “You don’t have to prove anything to me, Jeno. You already did, with _this_ ,” Jaemin eyeing the flower before going back to Jeno’s eyes again.

But Jeno was only giving him the sad look and Jaemin feels bad about it, so that he gives a light pinch on his cheek, “Then, try to make me to feel it again, Jeno—to fall so deep in love, how about it?” Jaemin tilted his head to the side, feeling that his heart was beating really fast when he was about to say this, “Because when you finally did it, I’ll make a confession to you about my secret.”

_Jaemin has a secret and Jeno didn’t know about this?_

Jeno, feeling so eager to get to know about Jaemin’s secret, nodding his head like a child, “I’ll try and I’m sure that I’ll succeed on it, Nana,” he grinned widely at him—making his eyes forming a beautiful crescent moon.

And it made Jaemin’s heart do a thing _, again._

 

*****

 

Everyone was looking so happy and enjoying their time together. Donghyuck, Mark and Renjun were having a serious conversation about some government stuff with Jaemin’s father (more like they were listening to Jaemin's father story, actually), while Hina and Koeun were talking to each other as they prepared for the food with the moms.

And Jaemin, was in the kitchen, taking some new bottles of beer for all of them.

“Need some help?” Jeno asked when he was _coincidentally_ walking across the kitchen, back from the bathroom. Jaemin tried to gets up with bottles in his arms and kicking the fridge’s door closed, “I’m okay!” he said but Jeno shook his head and gently took some of the bottles from his arms, “You sure are need some help with these.” He chuckled and turned around from him, heading to the backyard again.

After putting down the bottles carefully on the long table, Jeno was looking at Jaemin who is now looking surprised with something on his phone. “Is everything okay?” Jeno asked softly, trying to looking at the younger’s phone, and before he finds it out by himself, Jaemin told him right away, “Jaehyun just called.” He said with a small pout on his lips, “Should I call him back, Jen?” he asked as he taps his thumb on the screen uncontrollably.

Jeno shrugged his shoulder, ignoring the pang in his chest, “Maybe it’s something important?” he said unsurely and Jaemin just nodded his head, “I’ll just call him then,” he said as he pressed the dial icon before placing his phone towards his ear.

And when the other line is finally connected, he raised his brows, “Hi, Jae! Why’d you call?” Jaemin smiled though he knows that Jaehyun won’t even see it. There's shuffling sound behind the older boy, which Jaemin assumed that Jaehyun was still curling up inside his blanket right now, “ _ **I...**_ ** _wanted_ _to congratulate your mom on her birthday. Can I?_** ” the older asked in some kind between an awkward and nervous tone. Jaemin blinked his eyes several times at Jeno, “Oh, yeah, sure. Wait a second,” the younger said as he quickly walked up towards his mother and handed her the phone, leaving his mother to talk with Jaehyun—going back to where Jeno was.

Jeno took a sip of his beer when he saw Jaemin was walking towards his way, “He remembers your mom’s birthday, hm?” Jeno gives him a thin smile as put down his glass on the table and Jaemin nodding his head slowly at him—somehow now he’s the one who felt awkward.

Jeno initiate to sits on the table, kicking his foot back and forth as he locks his eyes with Jaemin’s, “Why are you not staying to talk to him then, Nana?” he asked as Jaemin moved closer to him and Jeno let his legs spread out so that the younger boy can stand between them. He doesn’t know what had hit him, but Jaemin looking so damn beautiful from so close like this.

_Oh, it must be the stupid alcohol._

Jaemin put his palms on Jeno’s knees, shrugging his shoulders, “I just don’t feel like it. Besides, I’ll never have the chance to move on if I keep getting distracted by hearing his voice, Jen.”

Jeno pouts at Jaemin’s last words, but he tried to brushes the pain away, “Then why don’t you just get back with him?” he asked again and so ready from getting his heart hurt again. But Jaemin starts chewing his lower lip nervously and Jeno doesn’t really know why he did it, “It’s just…hard to think about.” Jaemin shook his head, “I don’t wanna busying myself thinking about someone who lives so far away from me, because for not having him here by my side in person is just hard for me, Jen. I can’t stand it. I’m not that kind of person who bears the distance like that. That’s why I choose to just let him go.” He smiled bitterly at the boy in front of him.

They’re just keep looking at each other with this kind of feelings that are so hard to be ignore, before Jaemin finally breaks their gaze on each other to looking back at their friends, “And I… also wanted to make sure of _something_.” he said for the last time before going back to where their friends were hanging around, leaving the confused Jeno alone.

 

*****

 

The parents (Jaemin’s parents and Jeno’s mother) are finally going back to the living room, having some adult things to talk, they said. And for the kids, of course they stayed at the backyard a little bit longer, having their own fun in their own way. They played dart that Jaemin really suck at, they also played truth or dare which ended by the drunken Donghyuck trying to give Jeno a lap dance as his dare (thank God Mark can save them from having an embarrassing memory, again). And now that they have to clean up the mess they've made, they decide to play one more simple game just to pick two unlucky people to clean up the place.

“So, whoever get the salted-water have to do the cleaning up, do we have a deal here guys?” Koeun looking at each one of them with her mischievous smile as she brings seven paper cups filled with the salted-water on a tray.

“I’ve got bad feeling about this, though,” Mark shifted on his seat, making Donghyuck who are now sitting on his lap, whining from the too much movement that the older make, “Baby boy, shut up.” He pouted and Mark just smiled at him, suddenly feels a little bit better just by seeing his cute boyfriend’s pout.

Once each of them already got the cup, Koeun counts from one to three before all seven of them drinking it simultaneously. And just by looking at their expressions, it was obvious on who was the unlucky person who got the bad cup. And that’s definitely Jeno, just by seeing him spits out the water from his mouth back to the cup.

“Hina-chan, you got it too?” Koeun asked in disbelief when she saw Hina’s nose scrunching up at her, “I’ll help you then,” the older girl patted her head and Hina smiled widely at her.

“I’ll help you guys too, then,” Jaemin gets up from his seat, looking at Koeun, Hina and Jeno with his bright smile, but Renjun just can’t let it slid this time so he exposed Jaemin’s true intention, “Just say that you wanted to stay a little bit closer with Jeno, Nana.” the smaller smirked at him and Jaemin can feel that his cheeks is heating up again, “I-I’m the house owner and of course I’d feel bad if I let them to do this by themselves, Junnie!” he gives Renjun his deathly cute pout, hoping that the smaller boy will buy it and stop saying things that will made him feels so embarrassed even more.

Renjun’s sticking out his tongue at Jaemin, “Whatever, Na Jaemin.” He said and clapped his hands after that, “Then, good luck, you guys!” he cheered for them before getting inside the house with Mark who are still busy balancing himself with Donghyuck hugging him from the back.

Throughout the time they spent to cleaning up the backyard, Jaemin and Jeno were ended fall too deep into their own world that they don’t even realized Hina and Koeun were already leaving them back into the house.

Jaemin opened the door towards the kitchen with Jeno following right behind him, and he can see Hina, Koeun and Renjun were cleaning up the kitchen. “Good to see you to finally participating on cleaning up here, Junnie~” Jaemin sang to him and before the smaller boy could give him his death glare, both him and Jeno immediately running towards the living room, planning on lazying around on the couches after the tiring activities they just did befote.

But the thing that they didn't expect was they’re being welcomed by the sight of Donghyuck sitting up on Mark’s lap, having their hot making out session.

“Really, now, guys?” Jaemin said with a huff as he proceed to sit on the free couch on the left side from MarkHyuck’s one, “Where’re the parents?” he asked as he saw that Donghyuck was still busy leaving some hickeys on the older’s neck.

Mark’s aware of Jaemin’s eyes on them and so he tried to push Donghyuck away from him, but failed, “T-they’re all going out.” Mark finally speaks up—breathlessly, as he felt himself is burning up from his boyfriend’s kisses on his neck. And Jeno, without any words, pulling Donghyuck away from Mark and making him sit on the couch before going back to his seat again, which is on the armrest where Jaemin's couch was.

Jaemin looks up at the clock hanging on his wall just right above their tv, it’s almost past midnight right now, “At this kind of hours, hyung?” Jaemin asked again and Mark nodded, “I think they were talking about a food stall on the street and about having nostalgic moment—oh and Jeno’s dad already back from his trip.” He nodded his chin up at Jeno and Jeno quickly light up, just by thinking for having his father finally back at home.

“I wanna go ride a ferris wheel…” the tan-skinned boy suddenly mumbling when he gets back to his boyfriend’s lap, wrapping his arms lazily around the older’s neck, pressing his body close to him so that he could feel his warmth even more, nuzzling his nose on the crook of Mark’s neck.

“Shall we, then?” the two girls voice chirps out at the same time from the kitchen’s doorway and Jaemin immediately turned his head towards them, giving them his confused look.

“Let’s just go this Sunday, then!” Renjun raised his brows at him as he walks towards his stuff, “Oh, and guys, I’m going home now, by the way. Yukhei is already on his way to pick me up.” He smiled shyly at his friends as he slipped an arm into his coat’s sleeve while the other kids just can’t stop from mocking him.

 

*****

 

The awaited Sunday is finally here and the eight of them (this time with Yukhei) are getting so excited about it, especially Jaemin. After some little drama they made at the entrance by trying to fool the ticketing guy by saying that Renjun is still a kid so that it’ll come cheaper, and of course, it’s a big failed, so that they have to pay the tickets with normal prices. And now that they’re already inside the theme park, they starts looking around the place and starts picking up the attractions that they want to ride later inside their head.

“So, where should we go first?” Hina asked, fanning herself with her hand when the heat from the sun keep hitting. “Let’s ride a roller coaster!” Jaemin cheers, throwing his fist into the air. “No, a carousel!” Koeun pouts at him and Jaemin returned her with another pout.

“What about the ferris wheel?” Donghyuck asked with a tiny voice, which only Jaemin who could catch it since he’s the one who stand close to him right now, “We’ll ride it for our last ride before we going home, okay?” he smiled softly at him and Donghyuck just nodded his head, wrapping his arms around Jaemin’s waist with no words following after it.

But of course being the impatient themselves, they keep running to one attraction and to another one. With Jeno winning the shooting game and getting a big plushie for Jaemin, Donghyuck and Renjun were enjoying their cotton candies, Koeun and Hina were busy taking pictures wherever they found a good spot as the background, while Mark and Yukhei currently having their own battle on the same shooting game that Jeno has played before. And when they finally reach their last ride, which is the ferris wheel, they started to split up into pairs and of course, Jaemin and Jeno got paired up by their friends. Well, it’s not like they want to complain about it, though.

Once they got inside their cars and it starts going up, Jaemin clapped his hands excitedly, “It’s been a long time, don’t you think?” he said as he keeps his eyes to the outside view surrounding them, admiring on how the sky looking so beautiful with a slight soft pink and thin lines of blue and soft orange, also some buildings in town across the theme park.

While Jeno, was admiring the person who sit across him.

But when the cars suddenly shaking slightly because of the wind, Jeno quickly moved closer to Jaemin which made their knees bumped and Jaemin, who’s aware the fear on Jeno’s face, immediately took his hands in his, caressing the back of Jeno’s hands with his thumbs, “It’s okay, don’t be afraid, Jen. I’m here.” He smiled softly at him and Jeno nodded his head in a slow motion, while his eyes were trying to take a look to the outside view again but he chose to just looking at Jaemin instead.

The ride suddenly feels so slow and Jeno can feel his heart is beating so fast just by looking at Jaemin’ beautfiful feature. He loves everything about Jaemin, about how his lashes looking so soft brushing over the smallest part on his cheeks right under his eyes, about how his eyes sparkling when he’s admiring the view, about his bangs slightly touching his eyelids, and how his lips were always being slightly parted when he was too focus on something.

Jeno couldn’t look away even though he knows that he shouldn’t be thinking about this right now. But it’s so tempting and just by thinking to having his lips meeting Jaemin’s was succeed on making his legs turned into jelly again.

He tried so hard for not doing any stupid act but he just couldn’t hold himself any longer that he found himself was slowly leaning into the younger boy.

Jaemin on the other hand was realizing what was coming to him and he was planning for not doing anything to stop the older boy in front of him. He lets the older boy to do what he thinks that he need to do.

Their noses were slightly touched and Jaemin can already feel himself getting hard to breathe when he could felt Jeno’s breathe brushing over his lips. With just one last move their lips can finally melts into each other.

But the loud sound of the cars and some cheers the kids made are dragging them back into their reality and they part away almost immediately with cheeks heating up, heart beating fast and head feel so light.

When their car finally stops, Jeno nodded his head awkwardly, “Uh…let’s go now, I guess?” he moved nervously on his seat and Jaemin is no different from him.

“Come on, time is ticking, fellas!” the worker who stands right in front of their cars said to them and that’s what made them to finally pulling themselves together for moving their shyness aside and immediately getting out from there with a quick move.

Once they’re out, they can see that their friends were already waiting for them, still so busy talking with each other. And Jaemin, still feeling so shy and confused with his sudden boldness inside that cars, running towards their friends who apparently still unaware of them, immediately crushing himself at Renjun, stealing shy glances at Jeno before finally trying to catch up with his friends conversation.

 

_What the fuck is happening?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there you go!  
> chapter 12 for you guys! <3  
> i hope you enjoyed reading this ;;  
> don't forget to drop some kudos and comments! <3  
> i'd appreciate it if you guys did it ^.^
> 
> xoxo 
> 
> **sorry for any typos or any grammatical errors! ><


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter will only filled with nomin being domestic with each other hehe enjoy <3

 

Even after a few weeks, Jeno still trying his best to act normal after what happened on that beautiful Sunday when he’s having blast with his best friends, and his crush, The Na Jaemin.

 

But what he never thought to ever happened on that day is, he finally had the gut to try to kiss the boy of his life, and the latter didn’t even reject him from doing so.

 

“I’m so confused, hyung.” Jeno said to Doyoung in the middle of their lunch that day. Jeno decided to pay his cousin a visit on his workplace after they start to lived separately again (Jungwoo has been whining to Doyoung to live with him), basically just because Jeno don’t know what to do at home by himself when his parents are going to another town for a whole day (or maybe even two days, depending on how long the meeting will be carried on).

 

And why not visiting Jaemin? Well, you already know the reason, right?

 

Doyoung was still so busy with his soup, thinking on how should he reacting to his cousin’s silly question. “Jeno, it’s been weeks already and I don’t wanna give you any hope neither do I wanna give you another broken heart, but Jaemin definitely has something going on inside his head. Why don’t you just ask him?” he took another spoonful of rice into his mouth.

 

Jeno on the other hand was still focusing on shoving his spoon onto his rice back and forth, “There’s no way I’m asking him about that. I don’t want us to get awkward again, hyung.” he shook his head, suddenly losing his appetite so that he pushed his tray aside.

 

Getting tired with Jeno’s non-stop whine, Doyoung brings his spoon up, pointing it right in front of the younger’s face, “Kid, I’m not sitting here just to tell you about this over and over again, but you really have to talk to him. This won’t work out if you keep being so timid about it. Don’t you say that you want to prove yourself to him? Then prove it.”

 

Jeno pouted at the older’s words, his cousin is always hit him on the right spot if it comes to advice like this.

 

He took his phone out from his pocket, started to texting Jaemin.

 

**Jeno**

jaem? [01.04 PM]

 

And he doesn't even have to wait because the bubbles are immediately popping up so Jeno waits for it to be gone before its being replaced by text after text from Jaemin.

 

**Nana**

[01.04 PM] my nono!

[01.04 PM] i’ve been thinking about texting you too!

[01.05 PM] i wanted to ask you to hang out with me! are you free today?

[01.05 PM] please please tell me that you’re free! :(

 

Jeno didn’t realized that even the simplest texts from Jaemin already made him smiling so wide, even his Doyoung hyung shook his head, “See? Stop moping around now.” he sighed, thinking that he finally can finish his lunch in peace.

 

Jeno moved his eyes from his phone to the older boy in front of him, “I know you missed Jungwoo hyung. Why don’t you just call him or something and stop bothering me!” he pouts as he get his focus back to his phone again.

 

**Jeno**

i’ll just go straight to your house then [01.08 PM]

 

The bubbles starts to pop out again, and Jeno feels so happy about it. Has he been expecting replies from Jeno, then?

 

**Jaemin**

[01.08 PM] where are you?

 

Jeno's smile got even wider now like it was even still possible, feeling so happy that the younger asking about his whereabouts.

**Jeno**

i’m with doyoung hyung right now :) [01.09 PM]

i’ll see you soon, okay? [01.10 PM]

 

And it strangely took a little longer for Jaemin to reply his latest text, and it made Jeno wonder again. The bubbles keep showing up but then it’s gone again.

 

**Jaemin**

[01.12 PM] hehe okay then! be careful jen<3

 

With that, Jeno gets up from his seat with an immediate movement and cleaning up his stuff on the table.

 

“Where are you going?” Doyoung asked with the edge of his spoon was still on his mouth, examining the younger’s movement.

 

Jeno raised a brow at him, smiling at his confused cousin, “I’m going to Jaemin’s house. You’re gonna sleep at my house tonight and if you feel lonely, just bring Jungwoo hyung with you, alright? Bye, hyung!” he said before finally taking his leave from the place.

 

But after taking a halfway walk, he turned around to see his cousin again, “Thank you for always helping me out, hyung!” he smiled so widely as his eyes creating another crescent moons again.

 

*****

 

“Oh? You’re faster than I thought?” Jaemin said when he finally can see Jeno clearly standing in front of him, but his eyes just can’t help but starts to judging on how the black-haired boy’s look that afternoon. “You sure are trying to look good just for visiting Doyoung hyung’s workplace, huh?” Jaemin scoffed as he walked back into the house, having the urge to leave Jeno behind.

 

Jeno, sensing there’s some jealousy was drawn on Jaemin’s tone, just shook his head as he closed the front door for him, “Of course I have to. You know how that old man is, he can get really fussy about how I dress.” he said as he keeps following from the back to where Jaemin was heading—the kitchen.

 

Jaemin was already sitting on the counter with a drink on his hand, he sits with a slumpy shoulder, “I know I know,” he mumbled, then a smile appearing on his face again when he saw what was on Jeno’s hand, “You always love to bring something with you whenever you come to my house, don’t you?” he said with his sprakling eyes, already expecting something sweet— _or maybe even more_.

 

Jeno unhesitatingly following Jaemin to sits on the counter too, handing the bag to Jaemin, “A bucket of chocolate ice cream, special for you,” he smiled when he saw Jaemin looking so excited when he take the bucket out from the bag and quickly opens the bucket lid.

 

Jeno hop down from the counter to take spoons for both him and Jaemin. “Quick, Jen!” Jaemin said repeatedly, he sounded so enthusiastic about it as he patted his hand on his thigh, and that was the only thing that Jeno heard when he’s back with the spoons and quickly handed him the spoon.

 

“Easy there, kiddo.” he giggled as Jaemin starts to digging up the ice cream impatiently. Jaemin was looking back at him with a big smile, motioning Jeno to stands between his thighs, and so Jeno did—even trapping the younger boy between his arms.

 

“Open your mouth, baby boy,” Jaemin smiled with the spoon already directing towards his mouth. Jeno squints his eyes at the younger boy, but still opened his mouth for him regardless.

 

Jaemin easily shoved the ice cream into Jeno’s mouth, “Choco~” he sings as he showed the black haired boy his wide grin before shoving the spoon back into his mouth.

 

The little action that Jaemin did there really make the heat slowly crawling up from Jeno’s neck up to his cheeks. The boldness in him suddenly gone and now he just wanted to run away again from his embarrassing self.

 

He moved his hands away from Jaemin’s sides, “It-its good, Nana..” he smiled before finally went to take a glass of water for him, trying to cool down his nervousness for a bit.

 

Jeno turned to looking at Jaemin who’s still enjoying his ice cream, “Do you want to do something today, though?”

 

Jaemin’s eyes getting bigger before he popped out the spoon from his mouth, “Oh, you’re right! I do need your help with something.” he chuckled as he get down from the counter slowly, still hugging his bucket of ice cream.

 

“Help me to bake a cake, Jen!”

 

*****

 

“What do you need me to do?” Jeno asked when Jaemin tied his apron’s strap on the small of his back for him.

 

Jaemin gives a light squeezed on Jeno’s waist, “Just do whatever I told you to, okay?” he said as he walked towards the upper cabinet next to the stove, getting for the ingredients.

 

When everything is settled, they start to work on their parts. While Jaemin was combining all the ingredients that he got for the cake and even for the icing, Jeno was preparing for the topping, which is cutting the fruits.

 

Jaemin was taking a glance at the serious looking Jeno and he gets an idea to make the older boy to lessen up his tense on getting the perfect cut for the fruit.

 

“Hey, Jeno,” he calls his name out and Jeno immediately looking at him, but when he felt a sticky batter on his cheek, he puts down his knife, “Oh, you really ask for it, don’t you, Nana?” he raised a brow at the younger boy and Jaemin know that’s when he really need to run away from him.

 

Jeno took a full spoon with the batter and spreading it on his palm, “Na Jaemin, get back here!” he shouts, walking out from the kitchen and when he saw that the younger boy was running towards the living room, he immediately following him.

 

“Nana!”

 

“No, please! I’m sorry, Jeno!” Jaemin said between his laughter as he’s now standing right behind the couch. Jeno was shaking his head at him as he jumps onto the couch and trying to catch Jaemin but failed.

 

“Jeno! My mom’s gonna kill you if she knows you jump on her couch! That’s her—” Jaemin words were being cut off because he starts to run again when he saw that Jeno was already running towards his direction.

 

They keep running and running around the living room and when Jaemin feels like his legs are giving up on him, he slowed his pace and let himself fall to the couch--finally giving up to save himself from Jeno.

 

And Jeno, feeling so eager to spread the batter on his palms to jaemin, with no second thoughts to immediate sitting atop of the younger’s body, “Gotcha!” he laughed and started to run his mission, spreading the batter all over the younger’s face and even his hair.

 

Realizing that the batter was all over his face, and even his hair, Jaemin hold both of Jeno’s wrists to stop him, “Oh my God, Lee Jeno! Not my pink hair!” he groaned.

 

Jeno who doesn’t even feel any guilt in him, sticking out his tongue at the boy under him, “Oops.” He said as he tried to spread the batter even more on Jaemin’s hair.

 

“Kids!” a woman’s voice was heard and both of them immediately turned their head towards the voice. It’s Jaemin’s mother—finally coming out from her bedroom.

 

“Nana, what kind of mess that you did now?” she asked as she put both of her hands on her waist and Jaemin immediately pouting his lips, “Its Jeno’s fault!” he said when Jeno finally gets up from Jaemin's body.

 

Jeno awkwardly standing there with his head hanging low, “We’re sorry, Aunty...” he said with full of embarrassment.

 

Jaemin’s mother immediately gives him a smile, “No, no, its okay, Jeno. Just clean up now, both of you. I’ll try to get the cake finished for you.” she smiled fondly at both of them, and seeing the two boys smiling widely at her made her heart feels warm.

 

As she watched both Jeno and Jaemin going upstairs, she shook her head, “Oh, kids..”

 

*****

 

“Jeno.”

 

Jeno keeps his eyes on the mirror in front of him as he keep trying to distract himself by washing his hand. He’s still not that brave to looking at the younger boy right now.

 

“Nono.” This time with a lot softer voice and Jeno is weak for that.

 

He turned to looking at the younger boy for a split second before going back to his own reflection on the mirror again, “What is it?” he asked with a tiny cracked voice, which successfully embarrassing him again and again.

 

Jaemin turned his back on Jeno, “Help me wash my hair!” he cheerfully said to the older boy, hands were intertwined inside the water—feeling so excited about getting Jeno massaging his scalp.

 

Jeno’s face was getting warm again, “Just do it by yourself, then!” he said as he tried to sound less nervous this time. There’s no way he could do that—at least not now. He felt so nervous right now and he definitely doesn’t want Jaemin to find out about it.

 

Jaemin turned his head to looking at him when he finally gets his answer from Jeno, with a pout of course, “Please please! Nono help me wash my hair!”

 

Jeno can’t help but being weak again and just agreed to the younger boy to wash his hair, “Ugh, fine.” He said as he walking towards Jaemin's bathtub and sat on the edge of it.

 

“Yeay!” Jaemin cheered and leaned his back to to the side of his bathtub, having his head so close to Jeno’s thigh. Jeno was nervously looking at Jaemin’s nape, and up to the back of his head. He really wanted to bury his face into his hair, though. But he tried to hold himself up.

 

“Hurry, Jen.” Jaemin said softly, and it sent another knot inside his tummy.

 

He moved his hands towards Jaemin’s hair hesitatingly, but when the tip of his fingers touched the back of his head, he felt the electricity was running on it to all over his body, and it made his heart can’t calm down again.

 

He massaged Jaemin’s head softly, before getting the shampoo on his hand and back to Jaemin’s hair again.

 

When the foam is forming, Jeno blow it off from atop of Jaemin’s head and the younger started to chuckle because of it, “Jeno, stop it! It could get into my eyes, silly!” he said as he brushed his hand over his forehead that almost being covered with the foam.

 

After their laughter started to fade away, there's this this awkward silence around them and Jeno wasn't so sure what made Jaemin to surprisingly quiet like this. And Jeno doesn't like it.

 

“You’ve been really quiet, Jaemin. Is there something bothering your mind?” Jeno asked as he tried to change the subject as he rinsed the foam away from Jaemin’s hair.

 

Jaemin shook his head vigorously—trying to look like a puppy who just got back from running under the rain—a small smile formed on his lips, “It’s nothing, Jeno.” he said casually, but then he felt guilty for hiding it from Jeno.

 

“No, actually, I’ve been thinking about something.” he sits straight up and Jeno put his hands on Jaemin’s shoulder as he gave him a light massages on his shoulders.

 

The pink-haired boy took a deep breathe before finally speaks up again, “Jaehyun has been texting me since last night. Asking about how I’ve been and all kind of that. It’s been months after our break up, after all, right?” Jaemin said as he keeps fidgeting his fingers nervously inside the water.

 

Just by hearing Jaehyun’s name, Jeno quickly moving his hands away from Jaemin’s shoulder. While for Jaemin himself, with the losing of Jeno’s warmth on his shoulder, he turns around so that he can face the older boy better.

 

“It actually means nothing, Jen...” he smiled softly at him as he took Jeno’s hands in his and Jeno immediately squeezed his hands—like asking if the younger boy was telling him the truth or not, and Jaemin nodded his head.

 

“Jae told me that he might be having someone in his mind recently, and i told him that it might be a good new start for him and he agreed. He just wanted to tell me that he’s okay there, he’s finally okay. The time slowly heals him, after all this time.” Jaemin smiled as he remembered when he was talking with Jaehyun that day before Jaehyun’s departure.

 

Jeno put their connected hands on his thigh, “You okay with that?” Jeno asked the younger carefully.

 

Jaemin shrugged his shoulder, “I don’t know if I was supposed to be happy or sad for him, Jen. Is it wrong if I felt happy when he finally found someone new?” Jaemin looked up at him and Jeno instinctively moving his hands towards jaemin’s face, cupping his face, “It’s totally okay, Nana. As long as you keep being honest to your own feeling, it’s all okay.” he smiled.

 

“And don’t forget that you should find your own happiness too, Nana.” Jeno reminded him.

 

Jaemin closed his eyes, feeling the warm hands on his cheeks, “ _I have_.” he smiled.

 

*****

 

“I’m going home now, Jaem. Say my thanks to Aunty for letting me to help her finishing our cake in the end.” Jeno said as he walked out from Jaemin’s house, with Jaemin standing still on the doorway watching his best friend standing right in front of him.

 

The pink-haired boy only response with a nod as he wraps his arms around his own waist when he felt the night breeze hitting him softly, “I’m glad that we could spent some of our time together today, Jeno.” He smiled gracefully—beautifully, if you preferred to call it like that—as he tilted his head to his left side. And when he saw Jeno returning his smile, he stretched out his arm to the older boy, and so, Jeno moved closer to him.

 

Jaemin let his palm rested on Jeno’s cheek for a couple second before finally giving it a soft caress, and back to let his palm rest on his cheek, just to keep it warm, “Don’t worry about me, alright?” he keep his eyes locked to Jeno’s confused one.

 

His heart is beating so fast—faster than he ever felt with anyone else, not even when he was with Jaehyun. And now, he decided to just let his body moves by itself, letting his heart to take every action he did from now. “You don’t have to be worry about me and Jaehyun. I know you felt insecure again about my feelings towards you—you’re afraid that I might turns you down, but don’t ever think like that, okay? Jaehyun and I already put everything behind us now.” Jaemin said as he wrapped his arms safely around Jeno’s neck, bringing their bodies closer to one another. “Just keep your promise to prove yourself to me, okay?” he buried his face on the older’s boy shoulder, secretly inhaling his nice scent.

 

Jeno knows that Jaemin knows, and that’s what makes him gained his confidence back again. He runs his hands towards Jaemin’s waist, before finally linking his hands on the small of his back.

 

They just stayed like that—feeling each other’s warmth, their presences, even to feel their vague heartbeat over their chests. They know what they feel, but they just don’t really know how to act around each other sometimes. They go numb, a sudden blank filling their head so that they couldn’t say anything right when they felt too deep into their nervousness.

 

Jaemin moved his hands and rest it on Jeno’s tensed shoulders and moved away for a bit so that he can see the older’s face clearly. Jaemin keep his eyes locked with Jeno’s tender one as he cupped his face with his cold hands. Jeno looking so ethereal at that moment, that it almost made Jaemin to spill out those 3 magical words to him. But it still needed a little more time to finally get him there.

He promised himself, that he just need a little bit more time. And after that, he can have Jeno all he wanted him to be. He just need to makes sure of his own heart, that this is not like the last time.

 

Jaemin braved himself to leaned into Jeno’s face and Jeno just closed his eyes in reflect. But, this is not it. He can't kiss him on his lips just like that, right?

 

So that he kissed the older boy on the corner of his lips—just to tease himself than to tease Jeno, actually. And even so, he could felt that his legs are weakening again, and he found himself was having a problem with his breathing system there.

 

When he pulled away, Jeno was still having his eyes closed—maybe too shy to even opening his eyes—so that Jaemin leaned into him again, just to kissed both of his eyelids.

 

And now the second time he pulled away, Jeno finally opened up his glossy eyes, and Jaemin smiled softly at the sight, “Be careful on your way back home, Nono.”

 

Jeno hesitatingly untied his linking arms around Jaemin’s waist, but he did, eventually. “Wait for me?” he gives the younger a thin smile, and “I will.” is Jaemin’s answer. And with that, Jeno’s smile just won’t stop growing wider and bringing up his cheeks, until it made the crescent moons back to his eyes.

 

“See you tomorrow, Nana.” he finally bid his goodbye for the night, not before planting a quick kiss near Jaemin’s earlobe and it surely made the younger’s face getting warmer than it already is.

 

Jaemin was stunned that he didn’t even realized that Jeno was already out from his sight—he ran away right after he kissed Jaemin like that—Jaemin just standing there, still on his doorway, as he tried to taking in everything that just happened.

 

When he’s finally back to his consciousness, he took out his phone from his pants pocket, texting someone who always have been there since the very first day—the one and only who knew his deepest secret.

 

 **Jaemin**  
i think i’m ready. [10.23 PM]  
i know my answer now. [10.23 PM]

 

And Jaemin doesn’t have to wait for a long time for the reply, because the latter immediately gives him his answer.

 

 **Hyuckie <3**  
[10.24 PM] you know that i’ll always be here for you, right, nana?

 

 **Jaemin**  
i know. thank you, hyuckie  <3 [10.24 PM]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really hope that you guys enjoyed it! <3  
> and don't forget to leave some kudos and comments :3  
> i wuv u guys <3  
> oh, and next chapter will be a flashback part, so,  
> pls don't look forward to it gshjskd
> 
> *ps: so sorry if you find any typos and grammatical errors ;(


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this will be filled with flashback from that night when jaemin finally finds out about jeno's feelings towards him  
> *basically this is a jaemin's pov from that night sghdsjk

Jaemin just stood there, with eyes were blankly staring at the empty street—still couldn’t believe of what just happened. Everything was just too much to take in for him right now.

His boyfriend was exposing his bestfriend just like that right in front of him, and Jaemin doesn’t like it—that’s just too childish of Jaehyun for doing something like that. And by seeing Jeno’s reaction, Jaemin couldn’t help himself but also feel so disappointed at Jaehyun.

“Nana, come on get inside.” He could hear Jaehyun’s steady voice from his back and Jaemin refusing to turn looking at the older boy, at least not after what happened to them just now.

Jaemin brings his eyes towards his stained shoes, he could feel that his heart was about to explode at that time and he doesn’t care on how his voice would sound like, but he really need to, _at least_ , letting Jaehyun know about his disappointment on how the older act towards Jeno, “You have no right to do him like that, Jae.” He finally speaks up with crack on his voice as he tried not to sound too emotional about everything.

Jaehyun didn’t answer him, not even a single word came out from his mouth, and that’s when Jaemin finally have the courage to finally properly face the older boy, “That’s not the right thing to do, don’t you think?” he cocked his head to the side, asking him with the same question that he have always asked him whenever Jaemin did something that upsets the older boy.

And just like what he always good at, Jaehyun just keeping his mouth shut for the hundred times, and Jaemin can’t take it anymore— _this_ _is_ _the_ _last_ _time_ _for_ _everything_ , he thought. He’s just so fed up with everything, their non-stop fights and some nonsense accusitions towards each other, so that’s when Jaemin decides to walking back inside the house, he was planning to leave Jaehyun alone there, but not before saying words that he always has in his mind a few days (or weeks),

“ _That’s it. I can’t do this anymore, Jae. I’m sorry._ ”

And Jaehyun was stunned by those words. _Nana, you didn’t mean it, right? It’s not like what I think what it is, right?_

“Baby, wait!” he called out to the younger boy as he reached out his hand towards Jaemin, but he was already gone from Jaehyun’s sight before he could even catch him, so he just followed his guts to where Jaemin might be gone to.

Jaemin went straight to Donghyuck’s room, because he knows that the older boy will always be there all night, ignoring the fact that he has a lot of people downstair enjoying his party. And when Jaemin finally opened the bedroom’s door, he was being welcomed with the sight of Donghyuck lying on his bed with Mark was hovering over his body. No, this is not the time for him to think about anything.

“Guys,” he tried to gained their attention and it does work with Mark quickly sits on the bed with his sheepish smile when his eyes met Jaemin’s, and Donghyuck was about to say something to Jaemin as he slowly sitting up but the younger one was quick to cut him from doing so, “I’m going home. Thanks for the party, guys. And please continue with whatever you’re doing just now. Sorry for interrupting.” Jaemin said straightforwardly, trying to go out from the room as soon as possible.

Donghyuck was still proceeding everything inside his head when he just immediately getting up from the bed, catching up to the younger boy, “No, Nana, what happened?” he asked worriedly, arms were wrapped safely around Jaemin’s body just to prevent him from going anywhere else.

He knew that his friends would never let him go like this—not explaining even a word to them before going home by himself—but Jaemin’s just too tired right now, so he tried to brushed Donghyuck’s arms off of him, but he failed. “Let go, Donghyuck.” Jaemin said sternly as his fingers were still curled up around Donghyuck’s wrist.

It does make the latter feels sad for a moment, but he won’t let Jaemin go just like that, so he just keep pushing the younger boy to tell him about what bothers him, until Jaemin finally can’t hold it anymore, he turned around as he burst out into tears, “I ended everything with Jaehyun!” he cries into Donghyuck’s shoulder, letting himself hugged the tan-skinned boy tightly.

There’re noises other than the loud music coming from the outside and Mark immediately walking towards the door, wanting to checking out about it. But before he could even reach to the door, it was swinging opened, with the breakdown-looking Jaehyun, and a confused Renjun and Yukhei behind him, “Baby, you’re not for real, right?” his voice was shaky this time and Jaemin immediately turned to looking at him, still with tears streaming down over his cheeks, “You did something bad to Jeno! You always hate him, don’t you?” he pointing out his forefinger towards Jaehyun with voice as shaky as the older’s.

Mark averted his eyes from Jaemin and Donghyuck on his side towards Jaehyun, “What did you do to Jeno?” he asked and it seems like Jaehyun didn’t really pay attention to it, because he just keep trying to explain things to Jaemin, “It’s just that, okay? It’s not that deep! Besides, he can just deny it if it’s not true!” he starts to get so pissed, and Jaemin also gets more disappointed at the older's excuses, “But it’s not you to decide when did he should confess his feelings to me, Jaehyun!”

“You what?” Renjun and Yukhei, who’re now standing right behind Jaehyun all the time, asked simultaneously to Jaehyun who stands still in front of them. The smaller boy was about to grab Jaehyun’s arm when Yukhei stops him, “Let him, Junnie..” the taller said with his soft tone and Renjun hates for getting weak with only Yukhei’s soft gesture so he just gives the taller boy a pout and trying to ignore the anger inside of him.

Jaehyun take a closer step towards Jaemin, with tears are now formed on his eyes, “Then what am I supposed to do when I know the fact that he’s in love with you, Nana? I can’t just not do anything about it!”

The younger scoffed at him, detaching his body off from Donghyuck’s embrace, pointing at himself, “At least you can try to believe in me and all of this would never happen! I was so in love with you, hyung, but you keep saying that Jeno’s in the way, he make you feel insecure, you got so competitive and forgetting to have some faith in me! This relationship only includes me and you, and no Jeno! I keep telling you he’s just my friend— _my_ _first_ _ever_ _best_ _friend_ , and you just—” Jaemin was being cut off on his own words when he felt pair of arms was hugging him from behind.

“That’s enough, Nana…” Donghyuck said softly into his ears as he gave some caresses on his arm, hoping it will calmed him down and Jaemin gave Jaehyun his last upset look before he finally can't hold it anymore and falls to the ground, letting all of his emotion out from his chest.

Jaehyun was stunned and Jaemin’s cries just got harder.

“I’m sorry, Nana…”

Jaemin shook his head, trying hard to finally bring his eyes to looking at Jaehyun, with pure sadness on his face, “Just go, Jaehyun. I don’t wanna see you anymore.”

 

******

 

A week after the break up event with Jaehyun, Jaemin starts to think back again about his decision—letting go the love of his life just like that just because of Jeno—his childhood friend, his first bestfriend ever, Lee Jeno.

But he also feels so confused with what’s gotten into him that night. He’s the real definition of ‘explode with feelings’ that night. So many feelings were included and Jaemin wondered, was all of that really necessary?

And, was that his only reason? Because Jeno is his best friend? Is that only it?

He’s so confused right now and he can’t handle it by himself now. He really need to talk to someone about this—someone that he thought was the only person who would have known about everything about him and Jeno.

 _Donghyuck_.

 

 **j** **aemin** **  
** hyuckie, you asleep? [01.23 am]

 

While waiting for Donghyuck’s reply, Jaemin was busying himself with anything—watching cat and puppy videos on youtube or any dance cover, and even looking up for a sad song playlist on his spotify—before there’s finally a ding sound coming from his phone.

 

 **h** **yuckie**  
[01.46 am] uh...no. i was doing smth before  
[01.47 am] why are you up? still thinking about jaehyun?

 

And Jaemin doesn’t even need to ask about what was Donghyuck doing by this hour. he just know that he was doing _that_ thing with Mark, it always be it.

 

 **j** **aemin**  
its jeno, actually. [01.48 am]

 

Minutes after he sent the last text, Donghyuck called him.

“ _You_ _okay,_ _baby?_ ” Donghyuck’s voice came out too hoarse that it made Jaemin grimaced as he sunk into his bed even more, trying to get on his comfortable position.

He sighed as he brush the strand of his hair that touching his eyelids, “I’m not okay, really. Everything just gets too blurry, Hyuckie. I don’t know what to do anymore. I thought that I'll started to cry over my break up with Jaehyun but I’m not even that sad. I was more, like, all I could think about right now is Jeno. I was so worried about him that I’ve even forgotten about my own feelings about Jaehyun. Is this normal, though?”

Jaemin could hear that Donghyuck is whispering something—to Mark, that’s what Jaemin believed—so that he decides to wait for a bit until the latter is done with his boyfriend.

“ _Nana, I think you should really think about this carefully. Are you having any feelings for Jeno—no, are you still having feelings for him?_ ” And that hits him right on his heart and creating another knot on his stomach as he keep on listening to what Donghyuck were saying to him, “ _I know that you told me that you’ve moved on from him a long time ago_ _before you even ever met Jaehyun_ _. But maybe, Nana, those feelings are deciding to come back to you, you know?_ ” Donghyuck said.

Jaemin nodded his head to what Donghyuck said to him through the phone, “ _Or maybe, it never really left me..._ ” he mumbled more to himself, realizing that everything started to become clear again.

 

*****

 

Jaemin do realized that Jeno has been avoiding him again, so that he choose to give the older boy some space that he needs.

But this has been going for too long now—its almost been a week that Jeno keep distancing himself from Jaemin (only).

He skipped classes that they shared together (basically all of his classes), he even blocking Jaemin’s number, and knowing that Jeno has been contacting their other friends regularly again and not with him, it really makes him sad—like, _really_ sad.

“For God sake, Doyoung hyung, I really need to talk to him. Can you tell him that?” Jaemin said in his most desperate tone, hoping that Doyoung will understands his feeling right now.

But all Doyoung can give was only his sorry looks and a light squeeze on his shoulder, “Kiddo, I’ve tried so many times too, and he still choose to close himself out.” he sighed as he closed his eyes for a moment and reopen it again and looking at Jaemin with a thin smile, “But I’ll try again later, alright?” the older said softly and Jaemin just nodded his head because he just doesn’t know what to do anymore.

Doyoung feel so sorry for not being able to help Jaemin for now, he also doesn’t want Jaemin to feel sad about it because he knows that Jeno will eventually talk to him again soon, Doyoung always believed on that. “You should just get home now, its getting late, Nana.” He gives a pat on the younger’s forearm, “ Why are you even waiting outside like this? You can just get inside, you know.” He starts nagging again as he looking at Jaemin with a small pout on his lips (his habits when he’s being a naggy Doyoung), shoving his cold hands back into his jacket pocket.

Jaemin just smiled despite getting nagging by Doyoung, shaking his head, “There’s no point, hyung. He’ll just won’t let me in or even answering the door for me.” he smiled bitterly, eyes squinting when he felt like his heart was clenching tight inside his chest.

Doyoung take a quick glance at his house (Jeno’s house), and lets out another sigh before finally looking at Jaemin, with more guilty feelings, "Please bear with my little cousin a little bit more, Nana. It's just so confused right now and everything is still overwhelming for him.” Doyoung said as he proceed to open the front gate.

He doesn't know why, but by hearing the older boy saying those words really made Jaemin grows some confident back in him, "I will, hyung. Even without you asking me to, I'll wait for him. "He smiled widely at Doyoung, and Doyoung couldn't be more relieved than this.

 

*****

 

Jaemin is now lazying around on his couch as the tv was being turned on in front of him, without getting his full attention on whatever the show in it. Jaemin just keep tapping his chin with the back of his phone and legs were spread along the couch’s length, thinking for another way to finally get to talk with Jeno again.

“Should I call him?” he mumbled to himself as he looked up at a particular name on his contact list. He just kept staring at the name, still with the red heart emoji on the last part of his contact’s name.

The pink haired boy finally letting his pride down for a bit and call the boy.

He keeps on waiting and waiting while playing with his hair, his attention is now finally back to the tv, until when the last ring was heard, the person on the other line is finally picking up the call. “ _Jaeminnie?_ ” he sounds confused, like really confused.

Jaemin let a single thin smile bloomed on his lips even though this person couldn't see it, “Hey,” he answered, trying not to sound too cold at him.

Jaemin could hear some sniffles and a content sigh, before the person starts speaking up, “ _I’m_ _really sorry for what I’ve done, Nana..._ ” was all he heard and Jaemin knows that Jaehyun really meant it.

“Jae…” Jaemin sighed as he’d straighten up his sitting position, taking the remote from the table in front of him and turning off the tv immediately, “You don’t have to apologize to me like that. The one who you should ask for forgiveness is Jeno. He’s the most hurted one.” Jaemin said as he gets up from the couch, walking towards his backyard.

“ _I know..._ ” the older answered from the other line with a weak tone and Jaemin feels bad for saying things harshly at him that night.

A long pause suddenly filling in their conversation, but Jaemin just won’t letting it to take over everything, “Oh, and Jae?” he called out to the boy and he could hear him humming to him, so that he continue his words again, “I’m really sorry. I’m so sorry that I hurt you, Jaehyun.”

 

*****

 

Jaemin sits nervously in his bedroom, waiting for some good news from Jaehyun about the meeting with Jeno.

Yes, he actually knows that Jaehyun is meeting Jeno that day. He was the one who forces the older one to do so, actually. Just basically because Jaehyun is being too coward to try and Jaemin is tired of it.

He’s rolling over on his stomach in his bed, checking on his twitter and back to his instagram and back again to his twitter and ends up to let his phone lying on his study desk just like that—he just can’t get rid the nervousness that he felt right now.

But when his phone finally lits up and showing up someone’s caller ID, he quickly took his phone and eagerly picking up the call, “Jae! How was it?” he asked almost like shouting at the other line, half curious and half worried.

Jaemin could hear that Jaehyun was sighing from the other line, more like a relieved one, so that Jaemin wait for him to finally speaking up. He’s been so patiently waiting for it.

But when he heard Jaehyun chuckling, and Jaemin can already feel that everything is okay now. “ _It surprisingly went very well, Nana. I didn’t expect that Jeno would to forgive me, though._ ” Jaehyun said, the sound of crowds was heard from behind him and Jaemin suddenly remembered of something.

“Um… Jae, you told me that you passed the audition, right? But do you really have to live back in America, though?” he finally asked him after being so curious about it since _that night_. He couldn’t really ask the older boy at that time because Jaehyun doesn’t even let him to do so when he cuts him off by kissing him so passionately.

Jaehyun was silent for a moment, “ _Yeah, since my dad really needs me there to take care of him and his bussiness, and also,_ _my_ _company has told me that they’ll send me a manager to take care of my training time and everything that related to my schedule from the company_.” he said as Jaemin hear the sound of an elevator door closing.

Jaemin was smiling as he starts imagining Jaehyun singing on a big stage and crowds watching him—singing along with him, and Jaemin couldn’t be prouder than he already is, “Jae, I know you’ll make it great. I can feel it!” he smiled widely and he heard a sound of door opening from the other line and Jaehyun clearing up his throat, “ _Nana,_ _I just wanna say that_ _I’m so thankful for you, I’m so glad that I met you. And now that God decides that my time with you is over, at least I should be grateful for our beautiful times, right?_ ” he stated and Jaemin could feel his heart sink in pain. It finally hits him, but still, still not hurt enough to make him break down into a crying mess.

“Jae, thank you, for everything.” he smiled as he gets up from his bed, walking towards his balcony, watching the next house’s balcony—Jeno’s balcony—his mind was suddenly going back to the first time he ever saw the little boy crying so hard over his dad’s work trip, the first time he ever saw a very beautiful smile from the boy, the first time ever he sees so many butterflies flying around the room whenever he’s with the boy.

“And I’ll try out my luck now.” he smiled contently to thought of him to finally see Jeno again.

 

*****

 

It’s only been 5 minutes that Jaemin waited right in front Jeno’s door. No, he didn’t knock the door. He just decides to wait for Jeno to finally come home so that they’ll meet eventually.

He leaned on his side to the door, desparately hoping Jeno would come home soon.

And when he heard a queaky sound from Jeno’s front gate, he immediately straighten up his position and saw that Jeno was already closing the front gate, and he hasn't noticed Jaemin's presence. So that Jaemin took the initiate to approached him and walking towards the older boy who still doesn’t seem to be aware of his presence.

“Jeno!” he calls out to him, and when he sees Jeno freezes for a moment on his spot before finally bringing his eyes to looking up at him, Jaemin smiled sadly at the older’s reaction.

“Lets talk, Jen.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so... it took longer than i usually do shjksaks  
> i've been so busy preparing for my uni rn TAT  
> but still, i hope you guys liked it, tho! hehe  
> don't forget to give some kudos and comments if you want! <3
> 
> xoxo
> 
> #ps sorry for any typos and grammatical errors ><


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehehe

Jaemin is now standing right in front of someone’s door, waiting patiently for the owner to open the door for him after he  pressed the door’s bell several times and even knocks on it too.

He starts whistling, just trying to make his surrounding feel less quiet while his eyes were looking around the empty hallway, and when he finally heard the door was being unlocked, Jaemin immediately straighten up his position. When the door is fully opened, Jaemin was being welcomed by someone he’s unfamiliar with. This is a new face for him.

Jaemin waits for the other person to invite him to come in or at least introducing himself or just anything, but it seems like the latter are also as confused as he was so Jaemin decides to speak up first, while still expecting Jeno’s appearance, “Uh… I’m Jaemin, Na Jaemin. My friend, Jeno, told me to come here and I’m pretty sure that this is Doy—”

“Jaemin!” Jeno’s voice could be heard and Jaemin now can feel relief because of it. When the older’s finally showing up on the door, Jaemin immediately pouts at him, “Why don’t you pick me up at the lobby? I was so panicked, I thought I might come to the wrong place!” he grumped as he took Jeno’s hand in his and Jeno gives him a small smile and a light squeeze on his hand as his apology.

A sudden clap shocked both Jaemin and Jeno, so they turned towards the new boy and he gave them a big grin on his face as return, “Oh! So you are _that_ Nana?” the unfamiliar boy said to him with his surprisingly soft voice. And Jaemin just nodded awkwardly at him.

The latter eagerly offer his hand towards Jaemin, “I’m Jungwoo, and I believe that you must have known about me already, right?” he winked at him and the younger just shrugged his shoulder because he actually had no idea who is this weird guy. Or, he just doesn’t remember who it was. But still, he proceed to took this Jungwoo’s hand politely as he keep on looking at him with his confused look.

“Baby, come here for a second!” now another familiar voice came from inside the place—it’s Doyoung for sure—and Jungwoo just gives the two younger boy a sweet smile before answering his boyfriend, “I’m coming!” he said—still with his soft voice as he walks back into their apartment. And that’s when Jaemin finally get his memories back. This Jungwoo is _that_ Jungwoo.

While Jaemin was still being amazed on how forgetful he was, Jeno is now staring at him, “Why don’t you just call me to pick you up before?” he asked as he leads Jaemin along with him to get into the apartment as he closed the front door after that.

Jaemin suddenly realized about it and his face somehow felt a little warmer just by the thought of Jeno picking him up, “I-I don’t know…” was all the words that he managed to voiced out from his mouth as he starts to looked around the place, “Uh… So, this is Doyoung hyung’s new place?” he gives a small smile at Jeno and the latter just nodded his head excitedly with his cute eye-smile as his response.

When they got to the dining table, they could see that Doyoung and Jungwoo (he’s just busy hugging his boyfriend) were still preparing for their lunch. “Hey, kid! The food is almost ready, you guys just wait for a bit, okay?” Doyoung said to both Jaemin and Jeno from behind the kitchen island and Jaemin just smiled at him before voicing out a small “Okay!” from his mouth, but then those smile fall off from his face when he saw that Jungwoo starts giving the older boy kisses on Doyoung’s cheek and the back of his ear, which Jaemin regretted to see.

“Control your damn hormones, jeez! Ew, gross!” Jaemin grumped as he covered up his eyes with both of his palms while Jeno was only chuckling at Jaemin's grump, carefully leading him towards the dining table, “You should just wait right here. You’re the guest tonight.” The black haired boy said when Jaemin finally sat on his chair, before walking to where Doyoung and Jungwoo are, helping them to prepare for the dinner, for real.

The three boys are finally done with the food and immediately placing all of it on the dining table.

Doyoung was glaring at Jaemin (for the first time in his life), “If one day I caught you and Jeno making out in the kitchen, Na Jaemin, I swear to God I’ll gi—”

“Hyung, stop!” Jeno are reddening right after he heard the ‘making out’ word comes from Doyoung’s mouth. It’s just so embarrassing for him—at least don’t say it right in front of the boy, jeez. But little did Jeno know, Jaemin did realized that because he himself was also just the same as Jeno right now—as red as a fresh tomato.

From across on where Jaemin was seated, Jungwoo lets out a single sigh, “Stop bickering and just eat your food, both of you.” he calmly said as he feed himself with the food that they’ve prepared before. And thankfully both of them are now really stopping, with Doyoung was pouting at Jeno and Jeno was still getting so embarrassed.

On the halfway of their lunch, they get really quite, before Doyoung finally saying something to the three of them. “Oh, by the way, my friend’s coming. Remember the Taeyong guy?” Doyoung said and both Jaemin and Jeno were nodding their head at him, but when they realized, they snapped their head up to looking Doyoung with their widening eyes and quickly averted their eyes towards Jungwoo who’s currently having his dinner in peace. “No, he knows and he’s okay with it.” Doyoung laughed at the youngers’ reaction.

After a couple minutes of the sudden announcement from Doyoung, the door’s bell was heard and Doyoung immediately standing up and about to get the door before Jungwoo stopping him by grabbing his wrist, “Let me get the door.” he smiled widely at his boyfriend before walking towards the door without letting his boyfriend to say even a word.

The three of them are waiting with somehow feeling so nervous at the dining table, stopping from whatever they’re doing right there, eyes were all set on their plates.

The three of them could heard some vague groans from the living room but none of them who are brave enough to brings up their head, “Uh… Doyoung? Help, please?” another new voice was heard and Jaemin immediately turned his head towards the direction to where the new boy was standing—right behind him.

And another sight that he realized was Jungwoo is clinging right onto this Taeyong guy whose face was showing a pure confusion.

Doyoung was quickly getting up from his chair when he saw what his boyfriend was doing towards his friend, “Baby! What are you—“ Doyoung was got cut off by Jungwoo again.  
The brown-haired boy lifted up his forefinger as he shushing his boyfriend immediately, “Shh. He’s so cute.” he said as he clings to the red hair boy even more—rubbing his cheek on the older’s shoulder. Seeing this unusually sight, Jaemin was just smiled at this Taeyong guy, but when their eyes met, the latter returned his nice gesture genuinely.

When Doyoung finally can get his boyfriend off from the red-haired boy, he immediately gives him a quick friendly hug, “How was your trip, Tae?” he asked in a worried tone, “How was your work with the boss’s kid? Is he okay?”

Taeyong was smiling at him, a shy one, if Jaemin was seeing things right. “Jaehyun is thankfully a nice kid, so he kinda made my works easier. He also treated me more like a friend than his manager, actually.” Taeyong said as his mind was doing the rewind thing inside his head.

_Wait. Jaehyun? Is this the same Jaehyun, though?_

Jaemin slowly brings his eyes towards Taeyong and Doyoung who are currently fall deep into their conversation—talking about Taeyong’s work and of course, about Jaehyun. Jaemin, this time, realized that there’s admiration on Taeyong’s tone when he talked about Jaehyun.

And for Jeno who have been observing the the younger boy who sat next to him, are now making a move to distract Jaemin from getting his mind wandering again, “Nana?” he calls out his name as he placed his hand atop Jaemin’s on his thigh and giving a light squeeze on it, which make Jaemin turned his head towards Jeno.

He was smiling, like nothing has happened—nothing bothers him, “What is it, Jen?” he responds.

And by seeing Jaemin who’s trying hard to look okay in front of him, Jeno recoils his attempt from asking him about it as he shook his head slowly, “Nothing, Nana. Let’s just eat our food,” he nodded at their food, not even thinking to let go of his hand, and so did Jaemin.

Doyoung cleared up his throat, gaining the others’ attention, “So, guys, this is my friend, Lee Taeyong. He’s currently working as a manager for our boss’s son who lived in America.” Doyoung introduced him as he lets the red-haired boy to take a sit at the edge side of the table.

Taeyong was smiling at each one of them, and when his eyes met with Jeno's, he points at him excitedly, “You must be Jeno, right? Doyoung talks a lot about you when we were still working in Japan. He said that you have the cutest eye-smile, and now that I saw it, I think I can believe him.” He chuckled when Doyoung gives him a light slap on his arm.

And when he averted his eyes on Jaemin, he hesitates, “And, you are…”

“He’s Na Jaemin, or you can call him Nana! He’s Jeno’s soon to be boyfriend!” Jungwoo blurts out and Doyoung choke on his drinks due to the sudden statement that Jungwoo blurted out from his mouth.

Taeyong widening his eyes at Jungwoo then back again to Jaemin, “Oh, really?” he asked and Jeno immediately waved his hands to Taeyong, knowing that such question will flustering the younger boy, “Please don’t mind  him, hyung! Jungwoo hyung is just jo—“

“No, it was true. We’re now in some kind of ‘some’ relationship, you know, still making sure of our feeling towards each other,” Jaemin grins as he took a quick glance at Jeno before eating his food again.

Now that Jeno’s face gets red again, for the second time just in one night.

 

*****

 

“You okay?” Jeno asked as he took a can of coke from Doyoung’s fridge, walking towards Jaemin who are still sitting on his previous seat. Hearing Jeno’s question, Jaemin just shrugged his shoulder, “I’m okay,” he smiled slightly at Jeno as he took a sip of his drink, “Why would you think that I’m not?” he said when he finally moved his eyes towards Jeno who leaned on the table in front of him.

Jeno looks at to whatever it was in front of him, “You know, it’s about what we heard before,” he put down his coke on the table after taking a sip of it and gives Jaemin a pat on his head. Jaemin was only looking at him in silent before finally having his hand intertwining with Jeno’s on the table.

The pink-haired boy was focusing on their hand as he let out a smile on his lips, “Instead of feeling sad, I was more like getting amazed, you know.” He sighed, “All of us were connected, just like that. Taeyong hyung was Doyoung hyung’s friend and at the same time, he’s also Jaehyun’s manager, and he might be the person that Jaehyun has told me—the person that currently he starts to have interest in.” he said as he brings their intertwined hands close to his face, pressing it to his lips.

“But just by seeing Taeyong hyung, despite we only met him today, I do understand why Jaehyun would like him, you know. He’s great, he’s good looking and he has a nice body we can tell, he’s also sweet, independent, fun to hang out with, and most importantly, he’s perfect.” He continued with his lips were still slightly brushed with Jeno’s hand.

Jeno was pouting when he feels like Jaemin was downgrading himself, so that he squeezed the younger’s hand in his, “But you’re perfect for me, Jaemin.”

Jaemin lets out a breathy laughter at the older boy, suddenly feeling so happy again just by Jeno’s words. “You know that you’re so smooth with your words, don’t you?” the pink haired boy said as he get up from his chair, bringing himself close to Jeno.

Jeno parts his legs so that Jaemin could stand between his them, “Sometimes I really have to be bold towards you, so that you know that I was being serious about my feelings for you, Nana,” he said as he could feel that his heart rate is rising up with Jaemin being so close like this, feeling so excited and nervous at the same time, but his inner side really wants to get closer to the younger boy that night, so that he placed his palms on each side of Jaemin’s waist, bringing him close to him.

And Jaemin, feeling as excited as Jeno is, circling his arms around the older’s neck, “You’re being serious, hm?” Jaemin smiled as he shoved his fingers between the strands of Jeno’s soft lock, then bringing his thumb towards his earlobe, “For real, Jeno?” he keep his eyes locked with him and Jeno really can feel that his heart was about to burst out that time.

Jeno closed his eyes as he let his shaky breathe out from his mouth, trying to make nervousness unnoticeable to Jaemin, but of course the younger was fast enough to catch it.

“Can you just kiss me already?” Jeno asked desperately with his almost inaudible voice, pressing his palm harder on Jaemin’s waist. He can’t hold it anymore. Not after all these sign that Jaemin gave him.

Jaemin was silent at first, but then again, Jeno is just so irresistible. He locks his fingers at the back of Jeno’s neck, “Look at me and say it, Jeno.” He said—sounds more like begging.

So Jeno did open his eyes and their eyes immediately meeting each other—the eyes that were filled with their longing for each other. “Kiss me, Jaemin.” Jeno said it so surely and that’s the cue for the younger boy to take his action. Jaemin waste no time and leaned in into the older boy.

He has been waiting for this day to finally come. The day when he could finally kiss Jeno, his little secret, this just like a dream comes true.

But when their lips were almost touched, Jaemin stops. He remembered about something. Jeno have to know about this first, before all of their dreams to finally come into reality.

Jaemin pressing his forehead with Jeno’s, hating himself for ruining the mood that they’ve built, “Let’s get back to my house first, Jeno. I need to tell you something. Besides, you don’t want Doyoung to tease us later if he finds us making out here, right?” he chuckles to the thought of Doyoung teasing them about it, and Jeno wanted to complain at first because of what Jaemin did, but he agreed to him anyway, “Let’s hurry, then.”

 

*****

 

Jeno seated on Jaemin’s bed, somewhat feeling so excited and nervous at the same time. Jaemin is currently looking for ‘ _something_ ’ that he wanted to show to him. And Jeno wondered, what is it that he really wanted Jeno to see?

When the bedroom door swinging opened, Jaemin was there smiling widely at him with hands were hiding behind his back. “What is it, Nana?” he eagerly asked when Jaemin finally sits next to him.

“I want to show you this.” The pink-haired boy said softly as he handed a small book, full with doodles and butterfly stickers on its cover. “Everything that I wanted you to know was in there, Jeno,” he smiled as he caressed the older’s hair, tucking some strand of his hair to the back of his ear, “ _My_ _secret_ ,” he said for the last time before leaving a long kiss on Jeno’s temples.

Jeno shyly looking at Jaemin before finally open the book, flipping every page of it nervously. At first, he only saw some silly doodles that Jaemin also used to draw on his book, but when he almost reach the last page of the book, there’s finally something that he could read. It’s the Young Jaemin’s handwriting. Some words were written carelessly and irregularly—spreading all over the page.

_“Jeno is so cute today too!”_

_“Is Jeno really sick? I should pay a visit to his house later!”_

_“I like it when Jeno is near.”_

_“Mommy said if I like someone my heart will beats so fast when I see ‘_ _her’_ _… but Jeno?”_

_“Oh, it’s a zoo again. I can feel the zoo again today when I see Jeno.”_

_“Is it really okay if I like a boy? Isn’t it strange?”_

_“Mom and Dad said its okay!”_

_“I like Jeno so much….”_

_“Never mind, it'll never happen. Get yourself together Nana!”_

And that’s it. Nothing else. It’s the last page already.

Jeno brings his eyes back towards Jaemin, looking at the smiling boy with his confused look. And Jaemin knows he really need to explain everything to Jeno now.

“I started to write this when we were in 1st grade until we're on our last year in middle school. Remember that night when I said I saw butterflies flying around your room that night when we had our sleepover time? That’s when I realized that I liked you, Jeno. That’s the first time I’ve ever felt something like that towards someone, and it really have to be you out of so many people I’ve ever met.” Jaemin took the book from Jeno’s hand, and opened the last page again, reading all the words that he used to write there, “What do you think that made me to think that _it_ will never happen, Jen?” he asked Jeno with eyes filled with hope and anxiety.

Jeno was clueless. He didn’t know anything about it, he never knew what did he do to make Jaemin to think like that.

 

_“You said that like someone else. And it’s not me.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well....  
> i hope i'm not letting you guys down asdjkh  
> anyways, the ending is almost here! <3  
> and i hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!  
> don't forget to leave comments and kudos if you like it!  
> xoxo
> 
> #ps: as usual, sorry for any typos and any grammatical error :(


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a slight flashback *again* at the first part of this chapter!  
> and nomin*cough*alittlebit*cough*makingout*cough*

**_*Flashback*_ **

 

“Lee Jeno!” the 14 years old Jaemin called out for his bestfriend who are currently walking way ahead of him. “Why don’t you wait for me?” he said as he throw himself at the older boy. _Clinging to Jeno is one of the best kind of feeling_ , he would say.

 

And for Jeno, who always having a bad morning because he doesn’t like to wake up so early in the morning, are not in the mood to take any of Jaemin’s nags for that morning, so he tried to let younger’s arms off from his neck—but failed, so he sighed, deeply, "Aren’t you ever get tired of me, Nana? We met like every single time!”

 

Jaemin frowned at him, not really liking with Jeno’s response towards his good intention, which is showering Jeno with lots of love by walking with him to their school, “Well, are you, then? Do you ever get tired of me?” he said when he finally detaching himself off from Jeno, slightly quicken up his pace, suddenly feeling upset at the older boy.

 

And Jeno knows for sure about it—Jaemin’s sulking at him. Jaemin will always be like that if Jeno starts pushing him away.

 

“Nope, Nana....” he said, hoping that Jaemin will try to understand him and stop walking so fast away from him, and Jaemin did stop.

 

Jaemin turned to face him and showing his cute grin, taking a quick step towards him and starts pinching his cheeks when he finally get close to him, “You’re so cute when you’re being so shy like that, Nono!” he chuckled, and somehow, Jeno feels delighted by it.

 

*****

 

“Na Jaemin! Lee Jeno!” the tan-skinned boy, Donghyuck, is already waiting for both of them right in front of their classroom’s door.

 

Jaemin immediately ran with his little steps towards Donghyuck, “Why are you outside, Hyuck?” he asked as he hugged the tan-skinned boy tightly as their routine greetings.

 

“Is it so wrong if I want to wait for you guys, though?” Donghyuck said with a cute small pout on his lips and Jaemin can’t help it but to squeezed his cheeks with his palms. “Just say that you’re waiting for Mark and go!” Jaemin stucked out his tongue at him and Donghyuck blushes because Jaemin really hit the bullseye.

 

“Good morning.” a soft voice came from their back and Jaemin immediately turned around along with Jeno. It’s the Mark Lee, smiling at them (particularly at Donghyuck).

 

“Good morning, Mark. See you at practice later!” Jeno answered as he gives the older boy a high-five, remembering that they’re going to have a match with their senior a few days from now, “Sure, Jeno, but I’m gonna be a bit late though.” The older said and it rise Jaemin’s curiosity.

 

“What makes you to come late to your practice? You’re not usually like that, Mark,” Jaemin cocking up a brow at him, still having Donghyuck in his embrace, “Is it a date!?” he guessed and Mark immediately shaking his head, panickedly. “No! It’s not a date! I mean—well, Hyesoo said that she wants to talk with me after the school ends, so—“

 

“She’s going to confess. Congrats, Mark. Someone is interested with you, finally.” Donghyuck coldly said as he slightly pushed Jaemin away and getting back to their class without saying anything else.

 

“Oops.” Jaemin wincing at Mark’s obliviousness and Jeno just shook his head.

 

*****

 

“So Jeno,” Jaemin starts again as he stuffed his mouth with the chocolate bread that Jeno had bought for him before.

 

Jeno was already looking at him when he realized. And it made his heart felt uneasy again.

 

“U-um..what, what do you think about Mark and Donghyuck?” he stutters on his words, not really so sure why he felt so small right now after he caught Jeno was looking at him.

 

Jeno casually shrugged his shoulder, “They’re just stupid. If they liked each other why don’t they just talk it out and everything will be so much simple.” He said, eyes were now wondering around the cafeteria, like he was looking for someone.

 

And Jaemin is curious about _it_. They never really talked about such things with each other before, so, it won’t hurt to ask, right?

 

“Do you perhaps...also have a crush on someone right now, Jen?”

 

Now Jaemin hoped he never really ask the older about it, though. He regretted it right away.

 

Jeno was silent for a moment. It seems like he also wasn’t so sure about Jaemin’s question, but if the younger boy wants an answer, he have to give it to him, right?

 

“I do.” he said, simply, just like what he thought.

 

Jaemin starts to fiddle his fingers nervously with no reason, “Who is it?” he asked again as he could feel his voice is almost cracking up.

 

Jeno locked his eyes with Jaemin, “Do you really want to know?” and Jaemin nodded his head.

 

And Jeno did it again—looking around the cafeteria, before finally says a single name, “Jaena. I like her.”

 

*****

 

“I’m home...” the brown-haired boy said weakly, feeling like all of his energy was drained off of his body.

 

Mrs. Na hurriedly coming from the kitchen, still with her pink apron tied up on her waist, “Oh? Why are you looking sad like that, baby?” she welcomed him as she gave him a big warm hug, hoping it will made him feels better.

 

“The usual, Mom. Some school stuff.” Jaemin lied.

 

“You sure?” she asked as she pulled away from the hug and cupped his cheeks in her hands.

 

Jaemin sigh when he realized that he can never get away from his mother, so that he finally tells her, “Remember about my crush? Today I found out that my crush liking someone else, Mom.”

 

Jaemin’s mother was looking at him with full of love, caressing his hair softly, “You know what, baby? When I was still in your age, I also have someone that I like and it also turns out that he likes someone else too at time. But now, look at us being the happiest couple ever and he’s also a great dad for you, don’t you think?” she covered up her mouth with her fingers elegantly as she laughed.

 

Jaemin’s eyes widening when he heard his mother’s story and she nodded her head, “It’s true!” she smiled as she took Jaemin’s hand in her’s, “Nana, Mommy just wanted you to find your happiness in your own way. Let yourself be happy, and even if it turns you down now, but always know that your happiness will comes to you, eventually. And when it comes, rejoice it as much as you can.” she said as she looked into him still with her loving eyes.

 

Jaemin wasn’t really sure about that now, not after what he heard from Jeno himself. It make him sad, it really does. And this is the first time he ever felt like this. “I feel like I can’t breathe, Mom. This is just too sad for me to take and I don’t like it.”

 

Jaemin’s mother starts to laugh at his innocence, “Baby, it’s a part of growing up. Well, at least now you learned something new and I know you won’t let it to take over your happiness, right?”

 

Jaemin nodded, unsurely, but he knows what she actually meant.

 

“So, what are you gonna do now, my son?”

 

 _Silence_.

 

“To find my happiness, _and that’s not him_.”

 

*****

 

Jeno and Jaemin are just so inseparable. Even when they finally are a high school student, they keep stick close together.

 

And now, Jaemin is sure that his feelings for Jeno is not gonna come back anymore. He was so sure, when he finally met someone who made his heart flutters almost like the same as what Jeno did.

 

 _Almost_.

 

He thought that the 'almost' part will be enough for him, when he knows that it’s not. It’ll never be enough.

 

“I know that you’re gay but stop looking at him like that, Na Jaemin. Control yourself or you’re gonna freak him out.” Donghyuck whispered right into his ear when both of them were seated on the bleachers, waiting for both Mark and Jeno to finish their basketball practice with their team.

 

“I couldn’t help it, okay? He’s too eye-catching, Hyuckie.” Jaemin whines, and when his eyes finally met the boy’s eyes, he looked away as he feel his heartbeat is rising up—whether it was from the excitement or the worry to starting something new.

 

And when Jaemin averted his eyes to looking at him again, the pretty boy was still looking at him, but now with a smile that actually catch Jaemin’s breathe away.

 

“I’m definitely gonna ask your boyfriend about him.” Jaemin said when he finally looks away from him, and instead, his eyes are now landed on Jeno, and suddenly the ache in his heart is back again.

 

He doesn’t know why, but everytime he sees jeno, he can still feel the painful ache in his chest. He knows that Jeno has been dating a few girls since their last year in middle school, but the relationship never stay for that long, only for a couple of months before Jeno cut the relationship off. He said that he couldn’t feel anything with those girls.

 

“Hey, Nana?” Donghyuck’s voice pulled him back from his trance. He groaned and looking at the older boy with his brows up, “What?”

 

Donghyuck was nodding towards the the lower bleachers, with his small smirk, “He’s here.”

 

Jaemin quickly averted his gaze towards the direction that Donghyuck pointing at, and found the pretty boy was standing there with the other basketball team, including Jeno and Mark, with his drink on his right hand and his towel and his left hand, and Jaemin now can see his name from the back of his jersey when he turned around. His name is Jaehyun. And not gonna lie, this boy looks really good, like, _really good_.

 

The Jaehyun boy wasn’t looking at him at first, but then when Jaemin was about to looked away for the nth times, he finally locking his eyes with Jaemin’s again.

 

They shared a warm smile to each other, and looking away even before they could share anything else. But now they know for sure about their feelings towards each other, and that’s a good sign, right?

 

Jaemin do knows that Jeno was also been looking at him for a while, so when he's looking at Jeno, the smiling Jeno, his heart aching again, but Jaemin shows him his most beautiful smile, _just like what he always did_.

 

**_*End of Flashback*_ **

 

*****

 

“I never thought...” Jeno’s voice trailed off as he brings his eyes up to looking at the boy who sat across him on the bed.

 

Jaemin shook his head, “Don’t be sorry.”

 

They fell into silence again. Both of them wasn’t so sure what are they gonna do about their feelings.

 

“Do you still love me?” Jeno finally asked and Jaemin smiled, “Always. It’s always been there, it never really left, I realized.”

 

Jeno brings both of his palms towards his face, but Jaemin retreats him from doing so, “Don’t. Let me see your face.” he said, desparately.

 

“I feel so bad, Nana.”

 

“And don’t.”

 

They just keep looking at each other after that, in the thick silence, letting their feelings fill in the room—the guilt, the sadness, even the slightest happiness and also love.

 

Jaemin moved himself closer to Jeno while their eyes were still bore into each other, until their knees bumped to each other.

 

Jaemin wasn’t so sure about what he’s gonna do next, whether should he really do this, but he knows that both of them have wanted this from a long time ago.

 

So he stands on the bed with his knees, moving his hands towards Jeno’s face and placing it safely on each side of his face before lifting it up so that he can see how amazing Jeno looks right now.

 

And Jeno too, knows about Jaemin’s feelings right at this moment, so he pulled the younger boy closer by pulling his waist slightly towards him, not wanting to let the latter knows how impatient he’s right now.

 

“Can I?” Jaemin asked, lapping his dry lips when he felt so nervous about everything that going to happen with them.

 

“Absolutely.” Jeno answered him with no doubt.

 

And Jaemin finally did it.   _F_ _inally_.

 

He can feel Jeno’s lips burns over his lips, trembling because of the nervousness. This is the most right things that he ever felt. He can feel that his heart feel at ease but at the same time, he felt anxious too, so he pulled away just to make sure that they’re okay with everything that happens now.

 

Jeno’s eyes filled with ambiguity. He couldn't really read it, but Jaemin like it like that.

 

“Please, Nana.” Jeno’s lips brushed with his and Jaemin can feel his legs are becoming weak, so he sits on his heel and put his hands on Jeno’ shoulder.

 

They keep their eyes locked with each other as Jeno now starts to lean in into the younger’s face, “I love you, Jaemin.” he whispered it right into Jaemin’s lips, before finally letting their lips melt into each other, again.

 

It tastes sweet, they could say. The feeling does taste sweet for them.

 

They moved their lips unsurely, still feeling so awkward with the new feelings surrounding them, but when Jeno starts chuckling into their awkward kiss, Jaemin knows that Jeno is okay—he’s okay.

 

So that he pushed the older boy to lie down on his bed, placing Jeno’s head on his pillow, “I’m really sorry for taking too long to realize my own feeling, Jeno.” he said it softly, and Jeno can feel that his heart is full right now.

 

Jeno placed both of his palms on Jaemin’s face, slowly running his fingers through his hair that it made goosebumps coming all over his body—and Jaemin’s too, before finally intertwining his fingers on his nape, “At least now I know that you’re the only one for me and no one else.” he smiled as he pulled the younger closer, connecting their lips again.

 

The kiss, this time, wasn’t as awkward as their first one. They took in the feel of their lips moving towards each other, and their heart beats are rating up, making the room suddenly feels warmer than before. Jeno let his hand to travel down towards Jaemin’s shirt, slipping his fingers inside his shirt and the coldness of his hand making Jaemin gasped between the kiss.

 

Jaemin pulled away from the kiss, but still close enough just to feel each other’s warm breathe brushing over their lips, “Are you nervous?” the older asked with his eyes still closed. And the younger now pulled away a little bit further and looking at the older’s face, “Of course I am. I’m kissing you—the man of my dream.” he smiled as he caressed Jeno’s cheek softly, so dearly and caringly.

 

Jeno lets out his breathy laugh with his eyes closed, hands are lazily rolling up the younger’s clothes and Jaemin giggles to his teasing touch as he starts to planted soft kisses along Jeno’s jaw down to his neck, “You know what strange is, Jen?” he said between the neck kisses, which made Jeno grew another goosebumps all over his body.

 

“What is it?”

 

Jaemin bits the older’s neck slightly, making the older leave a sigh out from his mouth, “Stop teasing me.” he whispered and Jaemin sits back atop Jeno’s body and starts taking off his shirt, which surprising Jeno.

 

Jaemin was there, with his naked upper body, sitting on top of his body. So breathtakingly beautiful.

 

Jeno ran his fingers towards the younger’s stomach, slowly, that it made Jaemin’s breathe unstable. He watched how Jaemin’s expression changes every time he moved his fingers all over his body.

 

He can’t hold it anymore, so that he turned their position easily, with Jeno hovering over Jaemin, “You make me lose my mind, Nana,” he breathed as he buried his face on the crook of Jaemin’s neck.

 

He starts nibbling his neck with his lips and gives light bites on it, before sucking it hard. Jeno always wanted to mark him up like this, and this desire has been rising up since that day he saw Jaemin’s neck covered up with hickeys, from Jaehyun.

 

“This means ‘I like you’.” he said as he peck his first mark on Jaemin’s neck, before he moved to his shoulder and marking him up again, “And this one means ‘I adore you’.” he smiled as he heard Jaemin sighed to the butterfly kisses that he trailed from his shoulder to his chest, “And this,” Jeno smiled and starts to suck the center part of his chest, “This means ‘You’re mine’,” he said as he brings his eyes to each of his marks on Jaemin’s beautiful body. And it made his body looks beautiful even more.

 

Jaemin’s face is red, _really_ _red_. So he was planning on to cover up his face because he just got so damn embarassed right now remembering how lewd he could possibly sounds just from a kiss and hickeys that Jeno gave him, and Jeno is now the one who’s stopping him from doing so.

 

Jeno pulled his arm softly, planted more kisses all over his arm “Let me see you, baby.”

 

“I looked stupid now, didn’t I?” he whispered, sounded so anxious and Jeno couldn’t help but found it just cute. “If you looked stupid, how about me then? I looked like an idiot now, didn’t I?” he smiled, giving Jaemin a chaste kiss on his lips before he let the latter to answer him.

 

Jaemin circling his arms around Jeno’s shoulder, “We both are idiots for not being brave enough to say ‘I love you’, Jeno.” he giggled when he felt Jeno brushing their noses together before finally pressing their forehead together.

 

And once again, the room fell into silence, but this time, the silence is all they need to feel each other’s presence, to enjoy everything that happened just now.

 

“Hey, Nana?”

 

Jaemin hummed as his response.

 

“ _I love you_ ,”

 

Jaemin chuckles, “ _I love you too_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> updated!  
> i hope you guys enjoyed this chapter though ajhkal  
> and so sorry for the lame making out part i'm not really good on it i know  
> but i always wanted to try to write one so yeah shjksd x'D  
> oh and the next chapter will be the last chapter, everyone shsjk  
> i can't believe this fic finally come to an end T-T  
> don't forget to drop comments and kudos, love! <3
> 
> #ps : pls don't mind any typos cz i'm writing this at 2 am ashkj  
> #pss : sorry for any grammatical errors ><


	17. Chapter 17

Morning never felt so good before for Jeno—he always hates it to wake up early. But this morning is a different one. Everything feels just right at that moment. He feels happy this morning, strangely.

He wakes up with the feel of someone’s warmth wrapped around his body. A pair of arms was safely placed around his waist, and he also could hear the soft breathe coming from his back. And to that, he found himself smiling like an idiot. He remembers it now, the reason of why he felt so happy this morning.

“Jaem?” he calls out the younger’s name, hoping that he was still sleeping right now so that he could enjoy this moment a little bit longer. While Jaemin, who also has been awaken from his sleep, letting out a hum as his answer, trying to buried his face into the older’s back even deeper as if it still possible.

“ _Baby_.” Jeno’s trying to tease the pink haired boy and it does working just by hearing the latter starts groaning to the pet name that Jeno gave to him. “It’s still too early to make my heart explodes, don’t you think, Jeno?” Jaemin chuckled as he finally has the willing to move from his previous position and letting the older boy to return the same gesture as he did before—with Jeno is now burying his nose into his pink hair.

“I thought you like it?” Jeno couldn’t help but let a smile creeping up on his face when he saw purplish marks on the younger’s neck (that was made by him), as he started to plant some kisses at the back of Jaemin’s ear and his neck.

Jaemin sigh to the older’s touch, feeling himself falling even deeper into his own feelings, so he turned around so that he can finally see Jeno’s morning look. He looked great, as always. Looking even cuter than how he used to be.

They were staring at each other for a solid minute, enjoying the warm silence filling in the room, before Jaemin decided to break it with his soft chuckle, “I _love_ it when you do that, Jen.” He brushed his nose with the older’s and closing his eyes as he pressed his forehead against Jeno’s, “I still can’t believe that we’re finally here.” he whispers like he was afraid any loud voices would break their comfort silence and Jeno also feel like he could cry, right at that moment.

Jeno bring his hands that were previously on Jaemin’s bare waist towards his cheeks, “Believe me, I still can’t too, Nana,” he smiled when he saw Jaemin was also looking at him right now with his teary eyes.

The younger didn’t say anything more, instead, he pressed his lips with Jeno’s warm one, and it somehow answers all of their uncertainties that morning.

“Good morning, my love.”

 

*****

 

“So,” the tan-skinned boy starts wiggling his brow at Jaemin, “How is it going, Nana?” he asked enthusiastically and Jaemin can feel that his cheeks were burning up immediately—he knew what was Donghyuck meant with that question.

“Did you two kiss?” Hina takes her turn to ask and it made Jaemin feels shy even more. They did kiss—well not only kiss, though.

“Guys, stop asking him that kind of question. He’s that red already.” Renjun who sat next to Jaemin is finally trying to help him up—that’s what Jaemin thought at first. “Just look at the clothes he was wearing today and you’ll know the answers right away. You’re not wearing a turtleneck in summer, Na Jaemin.” He smirks and Jaemin knows he shouldn’t trust anyone, at least not now.

“Oh my God, you guys are wild!” Donghyuck faking a gagging face and Jaemin immediately throws him a crumbled paper, hoping it will shut him up.

“But real question, though. Are you guys officially boyfriends now?” Hina asked again, and when Jaemin was about to answer that, someone interrupting him.

“Babe!” Mark’s voice was came from Jaemin’s back, and so when he turned around, he could see that Mark wasn’t alone. He was with Jeno and Yukhei. And somehow, his heart just can’t stop doing wild things whenever he saw Jeno now.

“Markie! What took you so long?” the tan-skinned boy pouted as he let his arms open wide for the older boy, and when Mark finally letting himself fall into Donghyuck’s arms, he smiled, “Jeno got something to do before we got here.” He smirked at Jaemin who sat across Donghyuck and Jaemin who has been watching the couple, raises an eyebrow, “What do you mean, Mark?” the pink-haired boy ask as he averted his eyes towards Jeno, whom are now seem nervous.

“A pretty girl just confessed to him!” Yukhei cheers as he made his tiny boyfriend to sit on his lap, “But of course he rejects her! Don’t worry, Jaem!” he grins widely at Jaemin before Renjun finally covering up his mouth so that he could at least stop talking.

Jaemin was giving a smirk at Jeno, “So, Mr. Oh-So-Popular, why did you reject her? She must be feel really sad right now, you know.” he asked as he sees Jeno was giving him his small pout before walking towards Jaemin’s seat.

“I told her that I already have the love of my life to be my boyfriend,” Jeno said as he proceed to sit on the empty seat on the other side of Jaemin's, and he is the one who’s smirking now. And it sends shivers on all over Jaemin’s body.

“Ew, what the fuck Jeno!” Donghyuck gives him his judging look but Jeno doesn’t care about it that much because his focus was still on the flustered Jaemin right now.

Jeno moved his hand towards Jaemin’s hand on his lap, interlacing their fingers under the table, “Hey,” he tried to gain his boyfriend’s attention and when the latter finally looks up at him, he smiled softly at him, “I love you, Nana.” he whispered as he gave the younger a peck on his temple, which succeed on making their friends screams loudly.

Jaemin and Jeno was giggling when they saw their friends’ reaction before Jaemin gives Jeno a light squeeze on his hand, “You really know how to mess with them, Nono.” He smiled at him and when Jeno was having his eyes back on Jaemin again, he leaned in and giving him a kiss on his lips, “Hey, say it back, baby. I’ve been waiting for it, you know.” he smiled between the kiss as he brushed his thumb on the younger’s sideburn.

Jaemin was taken aback at first, the way Jeno saying it—it is somehow made Jaemin feels confident with his own feelings for Jeno.

“I love you too, Jeno.” Jaemin smiled widely as he wrapped his arms around Jeno’s neck and pulling him closer, before finally planting another kisses on his lips, ignoring all the noises that their friends made.

 

*****

 

Years by years were passing by, and the boys lives were getting so much better than they already are.

Group of young men are now having their greatest moment—partying in Jaehyun’s place. No, it’s not a big party, just friends of friends meeting up the others friends—circle of friends joining up.

Jaehyun just won an award as a new singer, and Jeno is now working as a new rising model along with Yukhei with Renjun’s help as their manager, and with Johnny as the professional photographer for a popular magazine, while Jaemin and Donghyuck are running a well-known restaurant.

And now, Jeno is sitting down on the other side of the pool from the other boys, having his alone time—letting himself drawn into his own mind. He watched his friends, their circle of group is having a great time, laughing together, and just by seeing those view really brings the warmth spread over his chest.

He was too busy smiling to himself while watching the heart-warming sight that he didn’t realize Jaehyun’s presence next to him. “Why are you sitting here all alone, kid?” the older asked as he shifted a can of beer right in front of Jeno’s face. The younger turned to looking at the older boy and happily taking the beer from him as he mouthed a “thank you” to him.

As he could feel his drink running down on his throat, he squinted his eyes when the bitterness of the beer hits him, “Well, sometimes I just need some alone time too, you know.” He said as his focus was back on his friends again—on his Jaemin more particular.

“Are you sad?” Jaehyun assuming and Jeno immediately shook his head with a smile on his face, “No. I was feeling grateful, Jae.” He answered as his eyes were still focusing on Jaemin who’s currently talking with Renjun and Yukhei.

Jaehyun followed his gaze and now he knows what he meant.

“It feels unreal, is that it?” Jaehyun smiles as he also glued his eyes on the same sight as Jeno, which Jeno nodded to his words, “Yeah, he still feel so unreal, even after all these years.” he said and just like a destined thing, he finally locking his eyes with Jaemin’s soft one. The younger was smiling so widely as he mouthed a “what?” at him and Jeno just shook his head, still with his soft smile.

Jaemin who still has no idea of what was going on inside his boyfriend’s head was giving this confused look at the handsome boy, but later on he just shook his head and let out a little laugh. Jeno was keep staring at him and Jaemin was raising his brows at him and Jeno is now the one who starts to laugh.

“You guys are cute.” Jaehyun’s voice is now coming back into his ears, and it sounds really strange, and somewhat funny, but warm too for Jeno. “That sounds strange coming out from you, Jaehyun.” He said as he landed a light punch on the older’s arm before going back to looking at his feet that were dipped into the pool.

The singer was chuckling, doesn’t really know why’d the model finds it strange, “What do you mean, Jeno?” he asked and at the same time, he realized that his boyfriend was now walking towards his direction with a plate full with food.

“You’re his ex, remember?” the black-haired boy said as he raised a brow at the latter and Jaehyun was laughing hard when he realized it, “Yeah, I know, but still, you two are cute together.” He said only to receive another light punch on his arm from Jeno.

And now Jeno was looking at Jaemin again and found the latter was already staring at him with the fondness that was so clear on his eyes.

“I love you.” Jaemin mouthed and give the older boy a wink. And only with that, Jeno could feel that his cheeks were getting warmer and turned into pink shade right now.

“I love you too.” Jeno decides to reply the small tease and Jaemin immediately smiles really beautifully at Jeno, “I love you more.” He replied and Jeno, knowing that Jaemin wouldn’t want to lose from their little game, nodded to Jaemin, “I know.” he stuck his tongue out and starts giggling, as Taeyong arriving on their spot. “Did I miss something?” the red-haired boy said as he stood closer to his boyfriend and not forgetting to give him a peck on the top of his head.

“It’s just your babies flirting with each other, Yongie.” Jaehyun smiled as he pressed his head to his boyfriend’s flat stomach.

Taeyong was smiling fondly at the two of them, “Then what are you even doing here? Come on now, go to your Nana, Jeno!” Taeyong said as he pulled Jeno’s and Jaehyun’s hands and dragging the two of them to where their other friends are right now.

Jaemin was coming up to them on the halfway and when they finally standing right in front of each other, Taeyong let Jeno’s hand go of his grip and giving Jaemin a warm-tight hug as their habit of greeting for each other.

Jeno was looking at Jaemin, still with the same smile, and it just making the younger boy getting more curious about it.

“Okay, spill it. What’s happening with you? Why are you smiling like that, Lee Jeno? Did you hide something from me?” he asked as he poked Jeno’s side and Jeno quickly catching his hand, smoothly interlacing his fingers between Jaemin’s slender ones, “There’s nothing, Nana.”

“Baby.” Jaemin tilted his head to his left side as he took a step closer to Jeno with a small pout on his lips.

The black-haired boy shrugged his shoulder as he looked around on their friends, “I’m just—I’m getting amazed, you know. Literally about everything—about you, about me, about our friends, about us.” he said as he pressed his forehead with Jaemin’s.

Everything feels so perfect.

And it’s getting even more perfect when someone (Jeno believed that it was Hina’s idea) played ‘Versace on the Floor’ as the back song for the night, along with the cheers from their friends.

Jeno was looking at them as he stuck out his tongue and about to say something when Jaemin hurriedly cupping his face with his cold hands and planted a soft kiss on Jeno’s lips, and the cheers was getting louder than before.

Jaemin pulled away as he looks at Jeno straight into his eyes, “Listen to me, Jeno—my Lee Jeno, my one and only Lee Jeno. I want you to know, that I love you every second, every minute, every hour, every single day, I love you so much—very much. I’m feeling so thankful to God for giving me the courage to talk to you that day when you cried on your balcony, because—damn, I’ve never felt so eager to talk to someone before I met you. I should’ve known since that day, that we’re destined for each other, you’re my destiny. And I’m so sorry that I made you wait for me—and even hurt your feelings. But please, now, just let me love you, let me pay back all of my mistakes to you, all of my selfishness, the imperfect me, by loving you for a long time. I’ll keep saying that I love you so much until my last breathe—God, you’re the best thing that have ever happened to me. I love you so much Lee Jeno, you—“

“Nana, just how much have you drink tonight?” Jeno cuts him off, with eyes already fills with tears and cheeks felt so warm and his knows that his cheeks are colored with pretty crimson red right now. But, who cares, right? Who cares about being shy when the love of your life has just confessed his truest feelings to you, right?

“Jeno! Why can’t you be serious for a while?” Jaemin said as his eyes were also tearing up. Jeno starts giggling when he saw Jaemin’s reaction so that he leaned in and kissed his eyelids, then down to his cheek, and finally down to his lips.

The kiss was slow, and it feels more intimate than their other kisses. This kiss felt so different. It’s warm, and it somehow making Jeno’s heart beating unsteadily, his hands were trembling. He doesn’t know why, but he felt so nervous right now. The kiss was felt like their first kiss—it contains so much feelings in it.

“Just get married already, both of you!” both of them could heard Johnny was shouting at them from behind, and they laughed into the kiss as Jeno pulled Jaemin closer by his waist, and he showed his middle finger to the older boy, and he could hear that everyone there was laughing—laughing at Johnny particularly.

Jaemin was the first one to pulls away from the kiss and with Jeno chasing his lips, “Easy there, baby boy. We can continue all of this later in our room.” Jaemin laughed as he drapped his arms around Jeno’s neck and soon Jeno hid his face on the crook of Jaemin’s neck when he realized he still can’t control his feelings, so that he just starts moving side to side along with the song.

“I love you, Nana.” he confessed as he pressed his lips on the skin of the younger’s neck, leaving butterfly kisses there.

Jaemin smiled, caressing the hair on Jeno’s nape, “I’m sorry that it took me a while for realizing my own feeling for you, Jeno. I’m so sorry for being such an idiot for making you wait for me. But now that I know that this feeling is real. I finally found my home and I’m glad that it’s you.”

Jeno then looked up at him, looking straight into Jaemin’s beautiful big eyes, “I’m always yours from the start, Nana. You’re the only one for me and I’m the only one for you, that’s all what matters.”

“One for me.” Jaemin showed him the most beautiful smile that night and Jeno never wanted anything else than to see those smile for the rest of his life.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAND this story has finally come to an end!  
> i'm very very verryyyyy sorry that it took me a while to finally have the time to post the final chapter :(  
> my uni life is slowly killing me these past 4 months ashjkag  
> well, i hope i'm not disappointing you guys with the ending tho.. TT-TT  
> anyway, thank you so so much for loving this story!  
> thank you to those who reads this story and not hesitating to give me some advices and correcting me for every typo or any grammatical error that i made in the process  
> thank you for helping me to grow into a better version of me, yall! ;;  
> and! i think i'm gonna write another nomin (or maybe other ships? hsjkdhjsk)  
> so lets meet on my next work! hehe
> 
> I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH!!! <33333


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